Somewhere Only We Know: The bestselling laugh out loud millenial romantic comedy. Erin Lawless
curious.
"Well, for a start, the Home Office was just meant to be CV filler, a good-looking first job, you know? I was meant to be doing something else by now."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Something else.” He couldn’t seem to stop himself talking all of a sudden. “I used to live with a whole bunch of guys,” he continued. “It was a five-room house-share." Alex laughed at Nadia's exaggerated wince. "It wasn't that bad. It was a laugh. But one by one they all either moved out of London or shacked up with girlfriends – that sort of thing, you know. One got made redundant and had to move back in with his parents in Devon. Poor guy's still there. It's been almost three years."
Nadia winced again. "Poor guy," she agreed.
"Anyway, by that time we'd downsized to a two-bed so I was on my lonesome. And I met Rory by advertising on Spare Room dot com." Alex smiled. "He took said spare room, although first he bollocked me for advertising the flat as being in Balham when it is clearly in Tooting. And we get on great and all, don't get me wrong but…since he met Lila, I guess I'm sort of waiting for him to move on too. And he and Lila are sort of the only people I spend all that much time with at the moment, so, that's, well… it's going to suck."
Nadia had slowed her swinging to listen to him. She had her head rested against one of the swing chains as she looked at him sympathetically. He hated being looked at like that. Why was he even talking about this stuff anyway? And to somebody he barely even knew. Alex dragged his feet through the wood chipping to slow his swing down.
"What a pair we are," Nadia said suddenly. "You, scared of being left by people; me, scared of being made to leave."
"Oh, ignore me," Alex told her, growing more and more self-conscious by the minute. Why was it so stupidly easy to run your mouth off whilst on children's play equipment? "I'm just moaning. Sorry for all this 'I've got nobody to play with, boohoo' shit. Don't mind me. I've just got the London Blues."
"Oh no, you can't blame London," Nadia told him firmly. "None of this is London's fault!"
"It's much harder to be lonely in close-knit towns and villages," Alex retorted, immediately regretting his choice of words when he saw Nadia's face soften when he said “lonely”. "Although, to be honest, my most fulfilling relationship would probably still be the one with my PlayStation, no matter where I lived!" he joked, trying to get the conversation back on a more even keel.
Nadia responded by finally taking hold of both of the swing chains and using them to propel herself even higher. And for a brief moment, he did actually believe she might be able to go over the bar.
"Well, I have a proposition for you," she said from high above him.
"What sort of a proposition?" Alex asked suspiciously, curious despite himself.
"I'm sorry, I can't hear you properly," Nadia called out cheerfully. "You're going to have to come up here."
Alex, by now pretty much stationary, looked up where Nadia was reaching the apex of her swing, what seemed like miles above him. "Ha. Funny," he dead-panned. "What's this proposition?"
"Can't, hear, you," Nadia sang, as she pushed herself higher and higher. Alex continued to stare at her, incredulous. Finally he sighed.
"Fine." He kicked off from the ground and started swinging again. "So…?"
Nadia looked down at him and laughed. "That's pathetic. Higher!" she ordered. Alex sighed again and pulled the swing chains backwards in order to push on higher. Although he was still nowhere near Nadia's dizzying heights, she seemed to appreciate his effort and take pity on him.
Nadia
"I'm going to help you – sort of like a life guru," she told him, matter-of-factly.
After a moment's pause, Alex spat out a laugh; whatever he'd been expecting her to say, it clearly wasn't that.
"No, I'm serious!" Nadia insisted.
"I bet you are!" Alex laughed. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"No, really. Once, Caro had me make all of her decisions for a month, just to test it out. We saw it on an episode of 'Friends'."
"You want to make all my decisions for me?" Alex asked her, clearly amused. "How will that work?"
"No, in this instance I'm just going to force you to live a little. Try new things, have new experiences, meet new people."
"Well, you're off to a good start; I've hit all three since the moment I met you," Alex muttered. He didn't even seem to notice that he was swinging higher than he ever had before, which Nadia decided to take as a good sign.
"I just think you need showing that the world outside is much bigger than the world inside your PlayStation," she insisted.
Alex scoffed. "Coming from someone who has clearly never played Skyrim."
"You're really just emphasising my point, you know."
"Okay, so, what is it you are really suggesting?" Alex asked scathingly. "You're going to take me on a tour of all the playgrounds of London? Let me sample the great swings of the capital? Expand my park horizons?"
"Okay, forget it!" Nadia sighed. Even she wasn't all that sure what she was getting at any more. She just felt sorry for this guy; the word “lonely” always made her feel so desperately sad. And it wasn't that she hadn't enjoyed spending time with Alex that evening, but the idea that this was likely to be the highlight of his social calendar was a little heart-breaking.
“Sorry,” Alex apologised, obviously realising he was being a little ungracious.
Nadia laughed. “You’re so British. Apologising all the time.” She looked across at him; his body moved in and out of her peripherals as she continued to swing. “I love this city,” she found herself telling the darkening sky. “You should make the most of it.” Alex didn’t respond, so Nadia continued. “I’ve been thinking, recently, that I should probably be hedging my bets a bit.”
“Hedging what bets?”
“You know. In case I… can’t stay.” She always used phrases like “can’t stay” rather than “have to leave”; they seemed less aggressive.
“Ah, Nadia,” Alex said awkwardly.
She continued before he could say anything pitiful. “I just mean that I should be making memories. Reliving old ones. Whilst I still have the time. I’ve got a list on my phone of all my favourite things I need to make sure I do one last time and all the things I never got round to doing.” She turned to face him, her swinging slowing, losing her height. “You always think you have enough time. But you don’t,” she told Alex, willing him to understand what she was trying to get across without having to resort to that old favourite: ‘life’s too short’.
Alex regarded her solemnly and she saw that he got what she was driving at. Even in the darkness of the dusk his eyes were expressive, straight and frank as they looked into hers. Nadia remembered how she’d told Holly how much she liked Alex’s eyes.
The first slightly cool breeze that London had felt in three weeks rose up and teased past her. Nadia closed her eyes and tilted her face into it. Maybe the heatwave was finally breaking. Please don’t let this be my final summer here, she begged the universe. Please, please.
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