Somewhere Only We Know: The bestselling laugh out loud millenial romantic comedy. Erin Lawless
master through a crackling microphone, “we’re going to make a start with Round One, General Knowledge. Question one…”
The three girls fell immediately silent, dipping their heads together close to the answer sheet, competitiveness kicking in. Alex tried to study Nadia, but her hair was loose and fell across her profile like a veil. There definitely was a touch of the exotic about her that had nothing to do with the slightly blurred accent. She was pale, but the sort of pale that would be classed as “pale and interesting”, rather than a pale that suggested nausea, with light-blue eyes and natural ash-blonde hair like a fairytale princess. Lila – whose blondeness required an expensive six-weekly maintenance programme – was no doubt massively jealous. Holly gave a jokey answer to question two and Nadia laughed, reaching to tuck the fall of hair behind her ear. How weird that she was a real person. It suddenly felt a little seedy that he knew so many intimate details about this complete stranger; Alex decided he wanted some more of his beer after all.
Nadia
The quiz master announced a twenty-minute break between rounds three and four, allowing people to pop to the toilets or – more commercially concerning – top up their drinks at the bar. Nadia scanned back over the answers they’d so far come up with and nodded to herself, pretty impressed. They weren’t doing too badly at all, she reckoned. Hopefully better than Caro and crew, anyway, and the geography round – Holly’s time to shine – was yet to come.
Lila had thawed towards them, if her trip to the bar to bring them another bottle of red wine was any indication anyway. Nadia thanked her profusely, ignoring the now-customary burn of annoyance that this sort of charity meant so much to her these days; she was sure that Lila was doing it because the conversation had wound round to the fact that couldn’t currently earn a wage and how tight everything had become as a result.
“I think it’s disgraceful,” Lila said, as she poured her two new friends liberally large glasses of wine. “I mean, it’s not like you’re here and you can’t speak a word of English. Or you’re fresh off the back of a lorry from Calais. Or you’re a benefit cheat. Or a health tourist come to take advantage of the NHS. I mean,” she looked Nadia up and down, “you are pretty much English.” She said it like it was the best compliment she could give; maybe it was. Lila turned to Alex who was rather quieter – and soberer – than she. “Can’t you do something about this?” she asked him.
Alex’s eyes flashed up, wary. “Me? What could I do?”
“Well, I don’t know, you could speak to the Home Secretary, or something,” Lila wheedled.
Alex laughed. “Lils, you have a very high opinion of me and my job if you think I’m desk buddies with the Home Secretary.”
“But you work for the Home Office, don’t you?” Lila insisted. Holly immediately sat up and surveyed Alex with interest. Nadia cringed. Typical! She’d been sitting here bad-mouthing her lot under the British Government in front of one of its civil servants. Fantastic.
“You work for the Home Office?” Holly asked Alex. “Wow! So, come on, spill! What’s the inside track with this Indefinite Leave to Remain stuff, then? What does she have to do?”
Alex visibly squirmed. “I – I don’t really know anything about immigration. I’m just an administrator.”
“Holly, leave him alone,” Nadia scolded. “The guy came to play a quiz, not be interrogated by randomers.” She shot Alex an apologetic smile.
“Two minutes ‘til round four, guys,” called the quiz master.
“Come on, guys, let’s kill it,” cheered Holly, suitably distracted. “We can do it!”
“Yeah!” Lila agreed. “That first prize money has our name on it.”
“It’s only twenty-five quid each,” Alex pointed out, with a smile. “I wouldn’t put in your yacht order just yet.”
“Well, to me,” Nadia said quietly, “that £25 is a couple of days’ worth of food money I don’t have to scrounge from Holly or my parents.” She laughed awkwardly to defuse the pity her words had stirred. Alex turned to look at her, softly sympathetic.
“I am so, so sorry guys,” the tall stranger blustered as he rushed up to the table. Nadia and Holly watched, bemused, as he dipped his head to meet the lips that Lila had offered up to him. Nadia looked at Alex, confused; he was already looking back at her, amusement on his face, obviously well aware that she had thought he and Lila were a couple. The new guy cast around himself for a spare chair, but the pub was still absolutely packed. Seeing his predicament, Lila hopped up, exchanging her own chair for his knees.
Alex leaned forwards. “Nadia, Holly, this is Rory,” he introduced, courteously.
“He got caught up at work,” Lila clarified from his lap.
“Hey, I was only a few hours late!” Rory defended himself amiably. “But I see you’ve replaced me.” He shot Alex a wide grin.
“Round four, question one,” the quiz master called, before Alex could respond to the tease.
Alex
Maybe it was the addition of Rory’s cache of general knowledge. Maybe everyone pushed the boat out a tiny bit more in order to get Nadia her food money. Or maybe they were always on track to win. Either way, win they did, and Rory – all flourishing generosity – declined his fifth of the pot and ordered another round to boot. Holly and Nadia might have been keen to get back to their mates now the necessity of the quiz was over, but the fresh bottle of red kept them anchored where they were, even though Rory immediately started boring them to death after they’d politely asked what it was that he did that had kept him in the office so late on a Friday night.
“But the Home Office,” Nadia said, turning to smile at Alex, leaving Holly to fend for herself in the tedious conversation with Rory and Lila about the dizzying pressures of trainee law. “That must be exciting?”
Alex smiled back. “More exciting than law, anyway,” he threw over his shoulder loudly at Rory, who ignored him. “What did you do, before…?” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the sentence; “before the organisation I work for took away your livelihood and began aggressively vetting you like you’re some sort of terrorist threat?”
Nadia sighed. “Oh God! I’ve been jumping from work visa to student visa and back to work visa for so long, my CV is a total headache. I feel like I really have done it all. From working at an accountancy firm to working in a chippie…”
“A chippie? Did you just try for a really British-sounding job to look good on your application?” Alex teased.
“No, that would be the time I worked at the box office in the Royal Albert Hall,” Nadia laughed. “And anyway, now I volunteer in the Clapham Oxfam.” She shrugged. “I don’t get paid, but at least I don’t come home smelling like vinegar. Mothballs instead.”
“There's always a silver lining, huh?”
“I like to think so.” The pair smiled at one another again. And Alex felt the thought as it arrived – this was the right moment to let Nadia know that he’d been a part of her application process.
“You know, it’s really weird, but…"
“Hey, we’re moving on,” interrupted a dark-haired someone, placing her palms on the table between them, angling her body towards Nadia and Holly and ignoring Alex; she already had her handbag on her shoulder, ready to go.
Holly looked up at her friend. “Where are you going?” she asked.
“Not sure. We were just going to walk down the high street and take a look at what’s going on,” the newcomer answered. “Maybe Bison?”
“Hey, do you guys fancy coming to Bison & Bird?” Nadia asked the table.
Lila beamed. “I love their cocktails,” she answered,