If I'd Only Known I'd Live This Long. David Boone's Beard
are inevitable. It’s just a part of life.
Friends and family members will die. Others will get sick or maybe you will become ill. Career aspirations may not work out as planned, or dreams of travel and adventure may be cut short by financial hardship or misfortune.
With all of the bad things that sometimes seem to happen one after another, it could be easy to get despondent and think “why me” or “life’s not fair.” And these are reasonable thoughts.
However, those people who thrive in later years are the ones who focus on what they have rather than on what they have not or on what they lost along the way. Rather than dwelling on the negatives of being older, they choose to think about all the benefits of age, like experience, wisdom and opportunity.
You have the power to focus on either the positive or the negative. Choosing the positive is much more empowering.
“Rule your mind or it will rule you.”
Horace
Make yourself attractive to be around
It’s all very well to have lots of friends and to develop relationships with younger people so you won’t outlive all the people you know, but other people have to want to be around you for this to happen.
How do you do this?
Firstly, don’t whinge or whine!
Nothing turns others off more than having to listen to an older person complain about all their aches, pains and worries. We all have a list of things we could complain about, but no-one really wants to hear them.
This is especially important when it comes to family. There is nothing in the rule book of life that says kids have to listen to their complaining parents. If you are a chronic complainer, your family may still come to visit, albeit reluctantly, but they won’t enjoy it. So instead of complaining, be a role model of how to accept the challenges of growing old.
Second, take an interest in other people. No-one is more attractive than the person who genuinely is interested in others.
Try to be the one who does more listening than talking. It’s easier listening when you’re not always talking about yourself.
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”
Oscar Wilde
Suffer in silence
Most conversations reflect what is going on in someone’s life
Young people talk about who is dating who and the latest hit songs. New parents tell anybody who will listen about the recent achievements of their child. People approaching retirement discuss how their investments and retirement plans are going.
As we grow older, health becomes the major focus for many of us, especially when there are particular issues. Unfortunately, as interesting as it is to them, most other people don’t like to hear someone complaining about their latest health concern or the side effects of their medication.
Veta is a truly inspirational lady I know. Her health is not ideal; she has arthritis and struggles to use her hands. Her legs aren’t as strong as they used to be, and she relies on a motorized wheelchair to get around; she needs assistance to live independently. Yet Veta never complains, and she never dwells on what she can’t do, only on what she can. Her focus is on all the good things she still has and can do. She takes a keen interest in the other people in her life.
Veta is a person others want to be around. She gives out energy to other people and they look forward to seeing her. I challenge you to be like Veta; a person others want to be around. Even if you are suffering or frustrated, don’t let them know it. Suffer in silence.
Note: Suffering in silence doesn’t mean not talking to your doctor or health professional about pain, symptoms or concerns.
Accept what comes your way
As you get older, many things have the potential to frustrate you. From other people, to changes in the way things are done, to the frustration of not being able to do something that you used to do.
If it is something you can influence, then get in there and do what you can to get the outcome you want. However, if it is something you have no control over, it is best to accept and deal with it the best way you can. Otherwise, the stress and anxiety you generate internally can damage your health. All that worry is just not worth it.
You will usually find that the people who can accept what life deals them and move on are the happiest and most content.
With each passing moment, the amount of life we have left decreases, so why waste even a second being upset or frustrated about something out of your control?
“Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.”
Anonymous
He who laughs … lasts
There is no doubt that a sense of humour is a prerequisite to successfully growing old. Either you can get upset, or you can laugh about the changes and troubles that come your way.
George Burns is a prime example of how humour helps as we grow older. He remarked how relieved he was to get to 100 since very few people died over that age. In his day that was true, but more and more people will live to reach 100 (especially if they follow the advice and tips in this book!)
Being able to laugh, especially at yourself, is one of the most important skills to develop as you get older. If you have a friend or friends that make you laugh, try and spend as much time as you can with them.
A good belly laugh every day is great exercise and really gives your internal chemistry a boost.
“You don’t stop laughing because you grow old;
you grow old because you stop laughing.”
Anonymous
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