Chloe Sims - The Only Way is Up - My Story. Chloe Sims
I’d like to dedicate this book to three of
the most important people in my life: my dad,
my daughter Madison and my Starship.
Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Chapter One MY CRAZY LIFE
Chapter Two THE EARLY YEARS
Chapter Three A PROPER FAMILY
Chapter Four GROWING UP
Chapter Five SETTLING DOWN
Chapter Six BAD TIMES
Chapter Seven MADISON
Chapter Eight SINGLE LADY
Chapter Nine LOVE OF MY LIFE
Chapter Ten ROCK BOTTOM
Chapter Eleven TURNING A CORNER
Chapter Twelve MOVING ON
Chapter Thirteen THE COURSE OF TRUE LOVE NEVER RUNS SMOOTHLY
Chapter Fourteen HAPPY EVER AFTER?
Chapter Fifteen IS IT ALL WORTH IT?
Chapter Sixteen HIGHS AND LOWS
Chapter Seventeen COMING HOME
Acknowledgments
Resources
Plates
Copyright
Being famous was never something I’d thought about – it certainly wasn’t an ambition, like it is for some people.
The truth is, I wanted to be a model; I had never even thought for a minute about being on TV, but I needed cash and fame brings you money. It’s as simple as that. I’d tried everything else, but I hadn’t tried fame. Being on TV would give my daughter and me a better life.
I am a firm believer that, if you want something enough, then somehow you will get it. Many times over the years I have said to myself, ‘This is not my real life’ – as if I was not living the life I was meant to.
Finally, I feel as though I am.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted a white Mercedes. I never thought in a million years I would get one, but now I have. I’m proud of it but also surprised that I have managed to bag my dream car. That’s not just it, me and my seven-year-old daughter Madison, or Mady for short, moved into a new house at the beginning of this year, and we are really happy and settled. Before that, we lived in a flat on a main road, Queens Road, in Buckhurst Hill, and it was a nightmare.
We lived opposite a social club and it was really noisy – there would be people leaving late at night and it used to keep Mady awake. They would get deliveries at all hours and the sound of them rolling the barrels right past our front door used to make the whole place shake. Then there was Costa Coffee, which was next door – they would get deliveries at 4am every single day.
It’s funny because it never really felt like home, even though we lived there for two-and-a-half years. I didn’t even bother to finish decorating it because it always felt temporary.
Now we live on the edge of farmland, with a huge garden and stunning views across the countryside. Mady can go out and see the cows and sheep in the fields and there’s no banging around at all hours – finally, we feel happy and safe.
I first heard about The Only Way Is Essex a couple of years ago when a gang of friends told me about this show that they were involved in. It was being made in Essex by a TV company called Lime Pictures.
They were wanting to film glamorous, larger-than-life characters that were well known on the party circuit for what sounded like an exciting new type of TV series – all glossy like a soap, but with real people. It was going to cover everything from bikini waxes to cheating and rows over men!
I hated my job and wasn’t earning a lot of money at the time; I thought it could be a lifesaver for me, and it sounded like a laugh, too! They were holding auditions at Faces nightclub in Gants Hill and I knew the owner, Tony Bee, so I asked him for the producer’s phone number. I thought about it for a while and then decided I had nothing to lose, so I eventually rang the number.
The producer was a woman called Sarah Dillistone, and we arranged to meet up in the King William pub in Chigwell. Over a drink, I told her about my crazy life and we chatted for hours. I told her about being single and the dating disasters I’d had, and she told me to email her over a short blog every week about what I’d been up to and any dates I’d been on.
After a couple of months of my sending over the weekly emails, Sarah rang me and asked if I was still interested but by then I’d just landed a new job that paid pretty well and things were starting to look up.
They wanted to come round to my house and film me, so I agreed to that. Afterwards, they still seemed keen and Sarah asked if I would do the show. It was only £50 a day to cover expenses, and I would have to do my own hair, make-up and styling, but I would be on the telly! She explained that, like with all successful shows, it could open up the doors to make personal appearances and interviews. She told me they thought it would be a real success, and I remember her saying, ‘This could be really good for you,’ and telling me it could well be my big break – but I started having second thoughts.
I had landed a job as a Playboy bunny and I felt I couldn’t give that up. I was also told that filming would be continuous, so I wouldn’t be able to be out of the country. At the time, I was working in France, so I felt I just couldn’t do it.
I had no idea whether the show would be a success and I just felt it was too big a risk to take. I honestly didn’t think it would be any good! Plus, I was worried that being on TV would mean my whole life would be scrutinised and picked apart. I was scared about what people would think of me – what if they all hated me and it ruined mine and Mady’s lives?
I had a nice set-up with work, so I turned it down.
The show began in October 2010. I then realised what a massive mistake I had made. Every weekend, I was travelling backwards and forwards to France, and all the travelling was beginning to get right on my nerves.
On Fridays, I would drop Mady at school and drive to Stansted as quickly as I could to make the flight to wherever I was going that weekend. It was relentless – I was a single mum all week looking after Mady on my own and then I was working really long hours at weekends.
Sometimes our group of Playboy girls would land at the airport and then drive ten hours to a small French village and I was sick of it. I remember one morning when I was waiting for my flight to be called and I was looking in a newsagent’s at all the gossip magazines. Every single one of them had the TOWIE girls on the front and it just hit me: I had made the biggest mistake of my life.
All I could think was: ‘That could have been me’ and I was devastated. That was