Gangsters, Guns & Me - Now I'm in Eastenders, but once I was on the run. This is my true story. Jamie Foreman

       INTRODUCTION

      One of the lessons I learned when I was young is that nothing is forever. Before I’d reached my tenth year, my world was turned upside down when my dad was sent to prison for ten years. So much for the innocence of childhood. My dad was my life, and suddenly life was very different. Painful as it was, that experience made me grow up fast and in many ways taught me to make the most of any given situation. I learned that nothing is all bad – there’s a tiny bit of silver lining in even the darkest cloud. If there weren’t then life wouldn’t be worth living. Dad might have gone away for ten years, but that meant he’d be free in ten years too. We had to make the most of things. We had no choice.

      The first 25 years of my life was a wonderful rollercoaster, a journey filled with joy, pain, success, failure, love and adventure. Whatever happened, I always felt luck and gratitude for my life as I’d lived it. My family and friends were my world, and what a colourful, wonderful world it was. Life was a journey and then some.

      While dad was away I went from being the son of South London’s biggest face to a stage actor at the National Theatre. From there I moved to TV and eventually to feature films. From an early age I was under no illusions about what it took to be an actor: forget any glamour, a jobbing actor is a chameleon, a ducker and diver, but above all he is a hard grafter. I’ve loved every step of my journey and have always thrived on the feeling of not knowing what’s around the next corner. There are so many parallels between my dad’s world and the world of acting – streetcraft and stagecraft are pretty similar when you think about it – and my journey has taken me to some wonderful places.

      But there’s one thing I’ve never lost sight of. My roots.

      I’ve always played bad guys, and it’s often been observed that the criminal underworld I have known would have stood me in good stead for such roles. It’s true, but not because I’ve been around bad people. Sure, I’ve come across some nasty bastards in my time, but the truth about most faces and criminals is – like anybody – they’re a mixture of good and bad. Nobody’s one or the other. Perhaps that’s why I can play bad guys and give them a bit of layering, a bit of depth – I’ve seen the reality behind the silver screen cliché and I bring it to my work.

      I was shooting for the silver screen in the old East Berlin when my agent called me up with a question.

      ‘EastEnders have been in touch with an idea for a character,’ she said. ‘They won’t talk to anyone until they’ve had an answer.’ Coming in the middle of a coffee break with my friend Sean Pertwee, the call was a bit of a bolt from the blue.

      I was intrigued, of course. It’s not every day EastEnders call. Still, they had asked me on a couple of times in the last decade. I always felt honoured to be asked, but the character never felt quite right and it was the wrong time for me to get into continuous drama. I was always about films – getting in and out quick and moving on to another role, working with different people – and didn’t fancy month after month of the same role. Perhaps this time would be different, I thought. A few weeks later I was sitting around a table in Covent Garden with Series Consultant Simon Ashdown and Julia Crampsie, the casting director. They had a character in mind all right: Derek Branning.

      I loved the character from the word go. Derek’s a bad boy, to be sure – he’s so nasty he even makes me cringe – but the great thing about him is he’s also a charmer who truly thinks he’s a good guy. Those traits alone are enough for a rich character, but the more we talked, the more I felt this complicated, contradictory role could really work for me. Also, the writers and producers wanted to make me part of the creative process when developing the role. To me, that was really flattering, a real token of respect. I knew I could make Derek a character the eight to ten million people watching the show would really love, or at least love to hate. Finally EastEnders had come up with the perfect role for me – third time lucky I suppose.

      Then it hit me: I’m going be in EastEnders! It was kind of scary, if I’m honest. For so many years I’d been in my comfort zone making movies, but this was different. I’d be working six days a week from 6am ’til 8pm, doing up to seven scenes a day with twenty pages of dialogue to remember. I’d be shooting TV scenes in an hour that would take a day on a movie set. I’d be on the telly four nights a week with an audience big enough to make a film a blockbuster. The last time I’d been so excited and nervous was way in the past.

      I was in at the deep end and it felt wonderful. I was starting all over again.

      It was a surreal feeling when I first walked onto Albert Square. I’d watched Enders all my life, and now here I was. Everything was so familiar, it was like stepping into a painting you’ve had on the wall for years. Strange but not strange. It’s a hard feeling to describe. That first day I took a few minutes to walk around and just take it all in. The funny thing was how small the square is in reality – the park’s only eight strides across. I knew a lot of the actors already – Shane, Perry, Jo Joyner, Laila, Lindsey Coulson – and they welcomed me with open arms. Everyone did. Before long I didn’t feel too much of a new boy at all. Walking into the Vic, seeing Alfie and asking for a scotch was like sliding into a comfortable pair of slippers. The only thing that was missing was my dear friend Barbara Windsor.

      We hit the ground running to bring Derek to the Square. Everyone was great, but I have to say Pam St Clement was phenomenal. In one scene, she established my character for me more easily than I could have done in four episodes. To see her as Pat, who’s never been frightened of anyone in 25 years, suddenly running scared from a man, showed everything about my character in one moment. Pam is a consummate professional and an absolute joy to work with.

      For the moment, EastEnders is where I’m at, and I’m loving every moment of it. Every day’s a challenge, and that’s how life should be. I couldn’t ask for much more than that. I’m grateful for each moment, but I’m also indebted to a part of my life that’s far, far away: my formative years.

      This book is about where I came from and the adventure it took me on. I learned a hell of a lot