Mean Girls. Louise Rozett
no, you like him, don’t you?”
“What? Like him—no!”
They clearly wanted to back me into the Bitch Corner. They exchanged another look.
I looked at each of them, my heart skipping a little at being so accurately pinned. “I don’t know either of them.”
“But do you think you might like Max?”
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Because.” Julia looked helplessly at me, and then to Madison.
Madison gave me a pitying look. “Because you really shouldn’t. He’s not going to like you back.” She rested a hand on my shoulder. “Not because there’s anything wrong with you … just …”
“He’s in love with Becca. Like crazy in love.”
I shook my head, and smiled. “No, no I don’t like him. Don’t worry about it.”
“Good.” Madison looked relieved. “We just don’t want you to get hurt. And when she comes back …”
“If she comes back.” Julia looked morosely down at her feet.
“Right. If … if and when she comes back, you just wouldn’t want to …”
“No, really,” I said, my voice unnaturally high, “it’s fine! Let’s go back inside.”
We did, the two others drifted off, and I found myself surprised to learn that Dana was not in our room back up at the school. She was here. And by the looks of it, she was wasted. When I passed her she didn’t notice me.
Johnny was at the makeshift bar, pouring himself a shot of Captain Morgan.
I stood next to him. “Hit me.”
He laughed, and wordlessly screwed the cap back on the Captain, and opened the blue bottle of vodka.
“How’d you know that’s what I wanted?”
“It’s girl stuff.” He cast a side-glance at me and smiled.
“Hey, I don’t need to pretend to be tough, Captain Morgan.” I smiled. “I hate straight liquor. At least this stuff is easier.”
“Well, then,” he said, handing me my shot, “cheers to not pretending.”
We clinked, swallowed, and then I made that face again. He popped open a soda and handed it to me.
“Thanks.” I swigged it. “I had a can, but I don’t know where it is.”
“Never leave a drink unattended and then drink from it again. That’s how girls get roofied.”
“Are there people here who would do that?”
He furrowed his brows. “I really don’t think so. But Ricky is the pill guy.” He shrugged. “You should just always be careful anyway.”
“There it is!” Johnny said, as I made the winning cup in beer pong. “You finally made one, and right when it really mattered.”
He smiled at me.
“Took long enough.” I smiled back, all too aware that Max had just come into our part of the room.
“Who wants next?” Johnny asked loudly.
For a small moment I hoped Max would volunteer.
“We do!” Blake said, pulling Cam to the table.
Probably for the best—I didn’t need to make a fool of myself when I knew he’d be watching.
“Your shot,” Johnny said, nudging me with his elbow.
I aimed, shot and missed.
My head spun every time Cam or Blake made a shot and I had to take a sip of the vodka and pineapple that she’d made for me. Finally they made their last cup, and Johnny and I had lost. I tried very hard to concentrate on the game, but even though my eyes were on the red cups, my brain was in the crowd around us.
I turned to Johnny with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry I’m so bad!”
I sipped my drink and wavered a little. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself.
“You want some water?”
I nodded, my eyes still shut, thinking it was Johnny. But when I opened my eyes, it was to see Max.
I felt my stomach lurch, and I took the bottle he handed me. “Thanks.” Then, to overexplain as usual, I said, “I’m kind of a lightweight.”
“That’s better than being a hardened alcoholic by seventeen.” He sat back down, and I saw that next to him was Dana. She was finishing a red cup filled with something and wobbling into the wall behind her.
I fanned myself with my hand, suddenly feeling hot.
“You okay? You wanna step outside?”
“Um, sure.” My skin grew even warmer as surrounding gazes shifted to us when we stood and walked toward the door. It was like they were all motion-sensor security cameras, and I was a clumsy thief.
We stepped out into the chilly air, and I breathed deeply.
“So, how do you like it here so far?” he asked.
In that moment I was very aware of how cute he was.
“Max, get in here. Dana’s freaking out.”
He looked puzzled, but went inside. I followed him
“—doesn’t anyone even care? You’re all just acting like it never happened! Like it didn’t happen here, only a few months ago.”
“Dana, come—” Johnny tried to pull her away from the center of attention, but she swatted his hand away.
“Shut up, Johnny, you’re … you’re one of the reasons she’s gone and you know it. I will never look at you the same way.”
She may as well have slapped him. His eyes turned to stone, and he stepped away from her again. I glanced at Blake.
“Nobody cares,” shrilled Dana. “Nobody understands what it’s like to care about someone. You’re all so wrapped up in yourselves. I—Just fuck all of you!”
“Dana, we are all just as worried and hopeful as you.” Blake’s voice was steady and calm.
Dana’s face contorted into an unpleasant smile, and she started to laugh. “You’re so wrong about that.” She shifted her gaze to me, and then beside me to Max, who had just stepped up. Her smile turned into a grimace. “You are both disgusting.”
I felt stung as she looked directly at me.
I started to stutter out a response, but she got close to my face and said, “You’re just a little slut from the South. You want everyone, and you can’t have them. They don’t want you.”
Everyone hung on her every word.
“You don’t … you don’t even know me.” My voice was not steady or calm.
“Shut up.” She held a hand up in my direction and looked at Max. “If it wasn’t for you, she’d be here tonight. Do you realize that? And that bitch—” she pointed to me “—would not be.”
Dana stalked over to us, her gaze never leaving Max’s.
“You know,” she said, when she was face-to-face with him. Her voice was low, but everyone was listening hard. “You know. No one else here does, because I kept everyone’s secrets. You know that’s probably what she’s off doing, right? Handling the situation?”
“Stop talking now.” He said it firmly.
The air was thick