Jonah and Co. Yates Dornford
After four endeavours to introduce one end of a petit pain into his mouth—
"Would it be asking too much," said my brother-in-law, "if I suggested that you should suspend this assault? I don't know what part of your face you eat with, but I usually use my mouth. I admit it's a bit of a rosebud, but that's no excuse for all these 'outers.' Yes, I know it's a scream, but I was once told never to put foie gras upon the nose or cheeks. They say it draws the skin. Oh, and don't let's have any comic nonsense about the beer," he added shortly. "Pour it straight into my breast-pocket and have done with it. Then I can suck my handkerchief."
As he spoke, Nobby leaned forward and took the dishevelled sandwich out of my unready fingers.
"That's right," added Berry, with the laugh of a maniac. "Cast my portion to the dogs." He dabbed his face with a handkerchief. "Never mind. When his hour comes, you'll have to hold him out of the window. I'm not going to stop every time he wants to be sick."
Eventually it was decided that, since we should have to stop for petrol, Berry must seize that opportunity to devour some food.
"Besides," I concluded, "a rest of a quarter of an hour will do you good."
As the words left my mouth, I noticed for the first time that my brother-in-law was tiring.
For the moment I thought I was mistaken, for upon our previous runs he had never turned a hair. Now, however, he seemed to be driving with an effort. As if to confirm my suspicions, at the very next hill he missed his change.
"I think," I said quickly, "you ought to have your lunch right away.
It's no good getting done in for want of food."
Berry shot me a pathetic glance.
"It isn't that, old chap. It's—— Hang it all, it's my shoulder!
That cursed muscular rheumatism cropped up again yesterday. … "
The murder was out.
After a little he admitted that, ever since we had left Poitiers, any quick movement of his left arm had caused him intense pain.
Of course both Adèle and I besought him to stop there and then and let the race go to blazes. Of this he would not hear, declaring that, so long as Jonah was behind, victory was not out of sight, and that nothing short of paralysis would induce him to jilt the jade. After a little argument, we let him have his way …
The road continued to offer an abominable passage, and when we stopped at a garage in Bordeaux, it was five minutes to three of a beautiful afternoon.
The third bidon was discharging its contents into Pong's tank, and Berry was sitting wearily upon the running-board, with his mouth full and a glass of beer in his hand, when, with an apologetic cough, Ping emerged from behind an approaching tram and slid past us over the cobbles with a smooth rush. The off-side window was open, and, as the car went by, Jonah waved to us.
There was no doubt about it, my cousin was out to win. It was also transparently clear that Adèle and I, at any rate, had lost our money. We could not compete with an average of thirty-six miles an hour.
"Boy!"
"Yes, darling?"
"Is that the last bidon?"
"Yes. But Berry won't have finished for at least ten minutes.
Besides——"
"Couldn't I drive for a bit, just till he's finished his lunch?"
I stared at my wife. Then—
"I don't see why you shouldn't, dear, except that the streets of
Bordeaux are rather rough on a beginner."
"I'll be very careful," pleaded Adèle, "and—and, after all, we shall be moving. And it can't affect the bets. Nothing was said about Berry having to drive."
I smiled ruefully.
"As far as the bets are concerned, we might as well stay here the night. We've got a hundred and fifty miles in front of us, and seven hours—five of them after dark—to do them in. Berry's shoulder has put the lid on. We shan't get in before midnight."
"You never know," said Adèle.
Berry suspended the process of mastication to put his oar in.
"Let her drive," he said huskily. "One thing's certain. She can't do any worse than I have."
"You never know," said Adèle.
A minute later she was in the driver's seat, and I had folded the rug and placed it behind her back.
As Berry took his seat—
"That's right," I said. "Now let in the clutch gently. … Well done. Change. … Good girl! Now, I shouldn't try to pass this lorry until——"
"I think you would," said Adèle, changing into third, and darting in front of the monster.
"Good Heavens!" I cried. Then: "Look out for that tram, lady. You'd better … "
As the tram was left standing, I caught my brother-in-law by the arm.
"She can drive!" I said stupidly.
"Nonsense," said Berry, "I'm willing her."
"You fool!" I shouted, shaking him. "I tell you she can drive!" We flashed between two waggons. "Look at that! She's a first-class driver, and she's going to save your stake!"
"What's really worrying me," said Adèle, "is how we're to pass Jonah without him seeing us."
There was an electric silence. Then—
"For-rard!" yelled Berry. "For-r-a-r-d! Out of the way, fat face, or we'll take the coat off your back." A portly Frenchman leaped into safety with a scream. "That's the style. For-rard! Fill the fife, dear heart, fill the blinkin' fife; there's a cyciclist on the horizon. For-rard!"
To sound the horn would have been a work of supererogation. Maddened by our vociferous exuberance, Nobby lifted up his voice and barked like a demoniac. The ungodly hullaballoo with which we shook the dust of Bordeaux from off our tires will be remembered fearfully by all who witnessed our exit from that city.
When I had indulged my excitement, I left the terrier and Berry to finish the latter's lunch and turned to my wife.
Sitting there, with her little hands about the wheel, she made a bewitching picture. She had thrown her fur coat open, and the breeze from the open window was playing greedily with the embroidery about her throat. Her soft hair, too, was now at the wind's mercy, and but for a little suede hat, which would have suited Rosalind, the dark strand that lay flickering upon her cheek would have been one of many. Chin in air, eyebrows raised, lids lowered, the faintest of smiles hovering about her small red mouth, my lady leaned back with an indescribable air of easy efficiency which was most attractive. Only the parted lips at all betrayed her eagerness. …
I felt very proud suddenly.
The road was vile, but Pong flew over it without a tremor. Looking upon his driver, I found it difficult to appreciate that a small silk-stockinged foot I could not see was setting and maintaining his beautiful steady pace.
As I stared at her, marvelling, the smile deepened, and a little gloved hand left the wheel and stole into mine.
I pulled the glove back and kissed the white wrist. …
"And I was going to teach you," I said humbly.
"So was I," wailed Berry. "I'd arranged everything. I was going to be so patient."
"I was looking forward to it so much," I said wistfully.
"Oh, and don't you think I was?" cried Adèle. "It was so dear of you, lad. I was going to pretend——"
"It was much more dearer of me," said Berry. "But then,