Green Stockings: A Comedy in Three Acts. Mason Alfred Edward Woodley
amazement. Haltingly) Your engagement? Why-it's impossible.
Celia. Yes, that's what Mr. Tarver says. Well, now suppose we call him down here, Phyllis, and tell him he is mistaken.
Phyllis. Oh-Ce-lia! (Embraces Celia gushingly. Rushes up to Tarver and calling) Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby! (Tarver drops his magazine, Phyllis drags him down R. of Celia. He is right of Phyllis.) What do you think? Celia's engaged to be married.
Tarver. (Looks at her, greatly astonished, dropping his eyeglass) Never!
Celia. (Sarcastically) Thanks so much, Mr. Tarver, for your kind congratulations.
Phyllis. (Who has run up to card room, calling) Aunt Ida, Aunt Ida!
(Tarver pauses a moment and then goes R., looking over at Celia incredulously as he goes. He finally sits on fender.)
Celia. (Calling up to Phyllis) Oh, Phyllis, I only meant to tell you and Mr. Tarver.
Phyllis. (Excitedly. Bringing down Aunt Ida extreme L.) Aunt Ida! Celia is engaged to be married.
Aunt Ida. (Coming down left of table and below table to Celia. Smiling happily) Darling-at last- (Kisses Celia.)
Phyllis. (Dances across to center) I can be married now. I can be married now. (Runs across to Madge and sits on piano stool.)
Aunt Ida. I knew that this would happen.
Celia. Did you, Aunt Ida? (These last two lines spoken hurriedly and together.)
Phyllis. Madge, what do you think? Celia is engaged.
Madge. (Rises, drops her pen in blank surprise) Not really!
(Phyllis runs to Bobby , who is on fender, and they sit together, talking excitedly, and looking at Celia.)
Faraday. (Entering from card room. Testily) Now then, now then, can't you girls make a little less noise?
Madge. Oh, Father! (Rushes to him, brings him C. She is R. of him.) What do you think has happened? Celia is engaged to be married. (Pauses a moment to listen to ensuing dialogue and then runs up to card room and in dumb show tells others of Celia's engagement. They also in pantomime express surprise and incredulity. They come slowly out of card room.)
Faraday. God-bless-my-soul! (A broad grin breaks slowly on his face) Celia-engaged?
Celia. Why, yes, Father, if you have no objection to the prospect of my leaving you.
Faraday. Objection? (Joyfully) Why, I'm delighted, my dear girl, delighted.
(Aunt Ida and Celia exchange glances and Aunt Ida, disgusted at Faraday, goes up to card room and talks to Evelyn.)
Celia. Yes, Father, I thought you would be pleased.
Faraday. Pleased? (With mock sentiment) I hope I show a father's feelings when his eldest daughter proposes to-er-desert the home-nest. (Murmurs up in card room. Reverting to his former attitude of enthusiasm) And who is he? What's the d-e-a-r fellow's name? Eh, Celia?
(Evelyn comes down extreme left. Raleigh, Grice and Steele up L.C. Aunt Ida comes back of chair, R. of table L. Phyllis kneels on sofa, facing Celia. Tarver comes and sits in chair below fender.)
Madge. (Coming down R.C.) Yes, Celia, tell us all about him. Who is he? (Sits L. of table R.)
Celia. (Standing by chair R. of table L. Slowly) Well-he is in the army.
Raleigh. (Quickly to Steele) A soldier, eh?
Evelyn. What's his rank?
Celia. He's a cap-a colonel-dear-a colonel.
(Faraday center, Grice up L.C., Raleigh and Steele up L.C. Evelyn L. of table L.)
Faraday. Colonel? What's his name?
Celia. (Pause) Smith.
(They all show pained surprise.)
Faraday. Smith?
Celia. Yes, John Smith.
Faraday. Smith-huh- (Genially) Well, of course the dear fellow isn't to be held responsible for that. Eh, Admiral? (Joins Aunt Ida and Grice up C.)
Grice. (To Faraday. Coming down R.C.) Miss Faraday engaged? You might knock me down with a feather. My dear, I congratulate yo-him, my dear, him.
Celia. (Smiling and shaking hands with Grice) Thank you, Admiral, thank you.
Raleigh. (Up L.C. to Steele) Engaged!
Steele. By George! (They contemplate Celia from a new point of view.)
Faraday. (Up R.C. with Aunt Ida. Smiling broadly and rubbing his hands together) Good-old-John-Smith!
Evelyn. (Patronizingly) Well, Father, he may be one of the good Smiths, you know.
Madge. (From chair R.) If Celia would only stop being such a clam, and tell us.
Celia. But, Madge dear, I have told you.
Faraday. (Comes down stage to R. of Celia) Well, Celia, I suppose he will be coming to see us soon?
Celia. Oh, yes-father-after the war. (Leaning back on chair R. of table L.)
Phyllis. (Quickly) The war?
(All show surprise and interest.)
Celia. Yes, you see he sailed this morning on board a troop ship, for Somaliland. It was just within an hour of his leaving that he-spoke to me.
Faraday. But during that hour he might have told you something about himself.
Phyllis. Oh, Father! How absurd! On occasions of that kind, an hour passes very quickly, (Turns to Tarver and smiles.)
(All laugh.)
Faraday. Well, I remember that when I proposed to your mother, I told her my life history three times over in the first hour. (Goes up stage.)
Evelyn. (Deprecatingly) Oh, Father! (To Celia) What's his regiment?
Celia. Oh, it is a very good one, Evelyn dear. It's one of the West African ones, you know. It has green thing-a-majigs all down the front.
(Evelyn goes up L. and crosses R.)
Tarver. It sounds like a garden party.
Madge. Well, but-Celia- (Rises, comes to Celia and offers hand and passes Celia in front of her to chair L. of table R.)
Phyllis. Oh, yes, do tell us.
Celia. (Sitting L. of table R. Eagerly, to get rid of the questions) But there is very little to tell.
(Raleigh and Steele drop down R.C. Evelyn joins them. Aunt Ida is back of Celia. Grice is C. Madge L. of Celia. Faraday drops down behind Celia's chair to R. of Aunt Ida. They are new all grouped about Celia's chair, except Tarver, who is in chair below fender. They all show smiling interest.)
Celia. Well, you see, we had been together in the house all the week-and-er-this morning I was in the garden-alone-and-and he joined me. (Pause.) And-er-it was then. (Covers her-face in mock confusion.)
(All laugh sympathetically.)
Phyllis. (From sofa) What did he say?
Celia. (Looks at Tarver and Phyllis and waving toward Tarver) Oh, you know.
(All laugh.)
Phyllis.