Please Don’t Take My Baby and I Miss Mummy 2-in-1 Collection. Cathy Glass
room was full of children’s things, it was clean and as tidy as you were likely to make it with four young children. I felt a bit uncomfortable being in Jade’s home when her mother was out, as though I was snooping.
‘Come up with me,’ Jade said, crossing the room to the open-plan carpeted staircase that led off the far side. ‘You can help me get my things.’
I went over and began up the stairs behind her. We were about halfway up when Jade suddenly stopped and exclaimed: ‘Mum! What are you doing here?’
I looked up at the woman now standing at the top of the stairs, who was fastening her dressing-gown cord.
‘I could ask you the same,’ she said, beginning down the stairs.
‘I’ve come to get me things,’ Jade said tersely.
The stairs weren’t wide enough for us to pass, especially with the holdall and suitcase Jade and I were carrying, so I turned and went downstairs. Jade did the same and her mother followed us into the sitting room, where there was an awkward silence.
‘I’m Cathy, Jade’s foster carer,’ I said after a moment, smiling at Jackie.
‘Hello,’ she said. ‘Jackie. Jade’s mother.’
I knew from the placement forms that Jackie was in her mid-thirties; she was about five feet six inches tall with highlighted hair. She was an attractive woman even without make-up and I could see a strong family likeness to Jade.
‘Why aren’t you at work?’ Jade asked, quite rudely.
‘I had a migraine,’ Jackie said, touching her forehead.
‘Are you all right now?’ I asked, concerned, for she looked pale.
‘Not too bad,’ she said; then she added pointedly, looking at Jade: ‘Thanks for asking.’
‘Who took the kids to school?’ Jade asked, or rather demanded.
‘Me. Who else?’ Jackie retorted.
‘Are you alone?’ Jade said, glancing up the stairs. From which I assumed Jackie’s boyfriend stayed sometimes and Jade didn’t approve.
‘I said I was ill, didn’t I?’ Jackie snapped back.
‘It hasn’t stopped you before,’ Jade said, scathingly.
‘You little cow!’ Jackie flared. ‘How dare you criticize me! Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? At least your father married me!’
Jade flinched at this remark, which seemed to have continued from a previous argument. I had the feeling that Jade and Jackie viewed each other as equals rather than mother and daughter; there was an undercurrent of unhealthy rivalry in their exchange.
‘I’m going to get me things,’ Jade said. Grabbing both cases, she stormed off towards the stairs. ‘You coming?’ she demanded of me.
‘You go ahead,’ I said. ‘And make a start with the packing while I speak to your mother.’ Jade huffed and stomped off upstairs.
I wanted to try to establish a relationship with Jackie; and also going with Jade now could have appeared to Jackie I was siding with her daughter.
‘Don’t believe what she tells you about me!’ Jade shouted from upstairs. ‘She never wanted me! But don’t worry, I’m not coming back!’ We heard her bedroom door slam.
Jackie’s eyes immediately filled.
‘Are you all right?’ I asked gently, touching her arm.
She nodded and, taking a tissue from her dressing-gown pocket, blew her nose. ‘We’ve always clashed,’ she said, sitting on the sofa. ‘But it’s unbearable now. I did my best for her and what do I get in return? She ends up pregnant and hating me. After all the warnings and talks I’ve given her and she’s done exactly what I did.’ She gave a long, heartfelt sigh.
I sat on the sofa next to her, for clearly she wanted to tell me more.
‘I told Jade right at the start to have an abortion,’ Jackie continued. ‘But she wouldn’t. She called me a cold-hearted bitch. She says she wants to keep the baby, but I’ve been a teenage mum and it wasn’t easy and I had a husband. I can’t look after Jade and the baby. I barely cope as it is.’ Jackie blew her nose again as fresh tears fell.
‘Of course you can’t be expected to look after Jade and the baby,’ I said. ‘You’ve got enough bringing up your younger children. Now the social services are involved with Jade they’ll help. Your children are lovely,’ I said, glancing at the school photographs on the wall. ‘You’re doing a good job.’
‘Thanks,’ Jackie said, wiping her eyes. ‘I love Jade as I love my other kids, although she doesn’t think so now. I want to help her but I’m not in any position to. She can’t stay with you, can she?’
‘No. She’ll be with me until the social services find her a mother-and-baby placement. Then she’ll live there and be assessed to see if she can keep the baby.’
‘Then what’s she going to live on?’ Jackie said. ‘Babies are expensive and Ty’s not going to be able to support her. What sort of life will they have?’
I fully appreciated what Jackie meant: Jade’s life as a single parent – with no job and no support other than from state benefit – was going to be an existence rather than living. My first impression of Jackie – from the referral – had been that she was uncaring and irresponsible but that wasn’t so. She loved Jade, wanted what was best for her, but couldn’t offer much support as she was struggling to cope herself.
‘I know this sounds awful but part of me hopes Jade fails the parenting assessment,’ Jackie said, her brow furrowing. ‘Then the baby can be adopted into a nice home, and Jade can get on with her life. She was supposed to be staying on at school and taking A-levels. Did you know that?’
‘Yes.’ But while I could see Jackie had her daughter’s best interests at heart I knew that if she’d said any of this to Jade it would have caused an argument. ‘I think it’s best to take this a step at a time,’ I said. ‘At present I’m concentrating on making sure Jade has a good diet, enough sleep, and attends her antenatal appointments.’
‘Ty’s not staying with you, is he?’ Jackie asked. ‘Rachel said he wasn’t allowed to, but I know how persuasive Jade can be.’
‘No. The placement is for Jade only,’ I confirmed. ‘Tyler can visit; he was with us yesterday evening. But we’ve agreed he has to leave at eight o’clock.’
Jackie nodded and looked thoughtful. ‘I let him stay here,’ she said. ‘I thought that as they were going to do it anyway it might as well be here rather than in a park or down an alleyway. I told Jade to go to the clinic for contraceptive advice but she couldn’t have done, could she? I won’t be making the same mistake with my younger kids. They won’t be having their boyfriends staying, but I’ve always given in to Jade. With her being the eldest, we’ve been more like sisters or friends than mother and daughter. I guess I liked that but it hasn’t done her any good.’
‘It’s difficult being a parent,’ I offered gently. ‘We have to make all sorts of decisions, and we learn as we go along. It’s only with hindsight that we know if we made the right decision.’
‘You can say that again!’ Jackie sighed. ‘And I’ve learnt a lot from bringing up Jade.’
I felt for Jackie and I thought she and Jade should really make it up. They needed each other more than ever now. I also felt that I’d spent long enough with Jackie and I should now go upstairs and help Jade, who would doubtless be feeling neglected and that I was talking to her mother about her. ‘Shall we both go up and give Jade a hand packing?’ I suggested.
Jackie shrugged, just as Jade did sometimes. ‘She won’t want me,’ she said despondently.
‘Let’s go and try,’