Please Don’t Take My Baby and I Miss Mummy 2-in-1 Collection. Cathy Glass
new interactive section which is fun for all ages.’
‘Can Ty come?’ Jade asked again.
I hadn’t anticipated taking Tyler but there would be enough room in the car. ‘Yes, ask him if he’d like to join us.’
‘I’ll text him,’ she said, finally brightening up.
And later, just to make sure Jade didn’t disappear out that afternoon while I was collecting Paula from school, I told her I’d like her to come with me to collect Paula.
‘Oh, do I have to?’ she whined.
‘Yes please,’ I said firmly. ‘I’d like you to, and Paula will like it too.’ I had begun to realize that despite Jade’s age and the fact that she would soon be a mother she responded to the manner I would normally have used for a younger child, and I was gaining the confidence to do this.
Adrian and Paula were very excited when I told them we were having a takeaway that evening and then a day out on Saturday. Paula was pleased at the prospect of Jade coming with us on Saturday, and Adrian was pleased that Tyler would be joining us, so everyone was happy.
Tyler arrived that evening just before six o’clock and we ordered from the Chinese takeaway menu. While we were waiting for the food to be delivered we all played Sunken Treasure, and then after we’d eaten we played some other board games. It was a lovely family atmosphere and I liked the way Tyler responded to Adrian: he made time for him and treated him with respect, despite Adrian’s sometimes silly comments, which were typical of boys his age. Although Tyler was very young to be a father, I was forming the impression that he could be more responsible than Jade, so that I thought I might enlist his help in trying to alter Jade’s behaviour.
When Jade went up to the toilet and Adrian and Paula were in bed, I confided to Tyler that I was worried about Jade’s drinking and so too was her social worker.
‘Me too,’ he said. ‘But she won’t listen. I’ve told her lots of times she’s got to stop drinking. Me mum’s told her and so has Jackie. We’ve told her it’s bad for her and the baby. Jade promises not to drink, but when she gets with her mates she forgets. We’ve had big bust-ups over it. I hope she changes when the baby is born.’
‘So do I,’ I said. And I hoped it wouldn’t be too late and damage hadn’t already been done to the baby. ‘You’re doing your best,’ I said, for he looked very worried. ‘I’m going to try and keep Jade at home with me as much as possible so there’s less chance of her drinking with her mates.’
‘Thanks,’ Tyler said. ‘I’ll tell me mum. She’ll be pleased.’
When it was time for Tyler to leave, Jade asked if he could stay the night – to save him the trouble of going home and then coming back first thing in the morning, she said. I knew if I said yes once it would set a precedent and be more difficult to say no next time. So I made the excuse that the fostering regulations stated that I was only allowed to have one person sleeping in her bedroom and that if anyone stayed the night (even if they slept downstairs on the sofa) they had to be police checked. Jade pulled a face but Tyler accepted this and, thanking me for the takeaway, said goodnight and, ‘See you tomorrow.’ What I’d said was mostly true – the room was only for one person and if anyone stayed regularly in the house they had to be vetted. Jade could be very insistent and liked having her own way, so it was better to avoid situations that could give rise to confrontation.
Although the weather was cold on Saturday morning it was dry and bright, so our outing to the castle went ahead as planned. Tyler arrived as arranged at 9.30 and was really looking forward to going; in fact, he and Jade were like over-excited children about to embark on a school outing. Rachel had said that neither of them had had much experience of family outings, so I was pleased I could treat them. Neither of them had been to the castle, although it was a much-publicized local attraction only a forty-five-minute drive away. We bundled into the car – Tyler in the passenger seat and Jade, Adrian and Paula in the rear – and as I drove, the four of them chatted excitedly about what they were going to see at the castle, like one big happy family.
We had an excellent day out, exploring the castle and the ruins and imagining what life was like in medieval times, especially in the dark dungeon with its macabre history. We had lunch in the castle café and when we got home Jade asked if Tyler could stay for dinner, and I said yes. They were all pretty tired from the walking, especially Jade, who nodded off on the sofa while Tyler, Adrian and Paula watched television and I cooked dinner. After we’d eaten we all watched some television together and then Tyler stayed with Jade in the sitting room while I saw Paula and then Adrian up to bed. Tyler finally left just before ten o’clock and although this was a lot later than the departure time Jill had suggested, it was the weekend, and I felt that if Tyler staying longer meant Jade was happily at home it was preferable to her wanting to be out with her mates. I liked Tyler and while he was naïve and had a lot of living to do he clearly thought the world of Jade and from what I’d seen so far he was a good influence on her.
By Sunday morning I was feeling very positive. The weekend was going well and I felt my relationship with Jade had improved considerably. I was looking forward to spending a relaxing day at home with Jade, Adrian and Paula after our busy one the day before.
Jade got up earlier than usual and was washed, dressed and downstairs in the kitchen cooking a fry-up before I came down at nine o’clock, having had a lie-in.
‘I’m going out,’ she announced as soon as I went into the kitchen. ‘To see me mum.’
‘Oh, OK. Have a nice time,’ I said. ‘Are you coming back for dinner?’
‘Na. I’m staying all day.’
‘What time will you be back, then?’ I asked.
‘Nine o’clock.’
‘All right, but no later if you are using the bus. And please say hello to your mum from me and give her my best wishes.’
‘I will,’ Jade said.
It would have been nice if Jade had stayed a little longer and had had the time to clear up after her cooked breakfast, or had picked up her wet towels from the bathroom floor and possibly even wiped the bath, but she didn’t. She was too eager to go out and see her mum. I thought I’d give her a few more days to settle in before I gently mentioned the matter of clearing up after herself: nothing heavy, just a few carefully chosen non-accusatory words along the lines that it would help me if she could clear up when she’d been cooking or had had a bath. I didn’t want Jade to think I was criticizing her, but Rachel had asked me to teach her some homemaking skills and clearing up was just as important as cooking and having a routine.
Adrian, Paula and I were mainly at home on Sunday. Adrian had some homework to do and when he’d finished we took the bikes out to the park for a while, but the wind was so cold we were soon back home again in the warm. Also on Sunday afternoon I telephoned my parents; we spoke at least once a week and usually saw each other every other weekend. My parents were very supportive of my fostering and they always welcomed, as family, the child or children I was looking after, and they were sad when the children left. My parents knew I was looking after Jade for a few weeks and they would meet her when we visited or when they visited us.
However, while Mum was quite liberal in her views my father was more traditional and had firm views about teenagers, especially when it came to teenagers and sex – they shouldn’t. He’d had a loving but strict upbringing himself and believed that teenagers now had too much freedom. And while he would never have expressed his views to Jade – he was far too much the gentleman – I knew he would struggle when he met her, a heavily pregnant teenager who saw nothing wrong in her situation and would rely on the state to support her and her baby. I didn’t blame him; he was of a different generation, and Adrian and Paula loved their grandparents deeply and since their father had left us a few years previously they had looked upon their grandpa as a father, a role my father happily embraced. We arranged for my parents to come to lunch the following Sunday. ‘I’ll have a chat with your dad before we come,’ Mum said. ‘Times are different now.’