Please Don’t Take My Baby and I Miss Mummy 2-in-1 Collection. Cathy Glass
sigh. ‘That feels nice,’ she said. ‘Can you do it again?’
I sat on the edge of her bed and began lightly stroking her forehead. Having your forehead stroked is very soothing and comforting, and I’d done this to Adrian, Paula and the younger children I’d fostered when they were worried or couldn’t get off to sleep. After a couple of minutes Jade sighed with contentment, her eyes slowly closed and she fell asleep. I stayed where I was for a moment and looked at her. With her arm around her toy panda and her face relaxed in sleep she was a child again, as vulnerable and in need of looking after as the baby she carried.
That night I wrote up my fostering notes with a very heavy heart. Foster carer’s notes should be objective and non-judgemental, and need to report what has happened during the day – good and bad. While I made today’s account as positive as I could – including the fact that Jade had answered when I’d phoned and had come home when asked to – I also had to include that she’d lied to me about where she was going and that she’d been drinking heavily. I wondered what Jade would think of it all if she read my notes on her file at the social services when she was adult, as she had a right to do.
I checked on Jade before I went to bed, again at 2.00 a.m., and then again in the morning when I got up at 6.00. The bucket was empty, so she hadn’t been sick, and she’d hardly changed position all night, sleeping on her side cuddled up to Chi Chi. I closed her bedroom door and left her to sleep, while Adrian, Paula and I got ready and went to school. Thankfully, Adrian and Paula were unaware of Jade’s behaviour, as it had happened after they were in bed and asleep. As far as they were concerned, therefore, we’d all had a nice weekend with a takeaway on Friday and a day out on Saturday. Long may it stay that way, I thought.
When I returned from taking Paula to school there was no sign of Jade, so I went up to her room and gently woke her. She wasn’t happy.
‘Piss off,’ she moaned, slowly coming round. ‘Leave me alone.’
‘You need to get up,’ I said. ‘Rachel is coming at eleven o’clock.’
‘Not seeing her,’ Jade said, pulling the duvet over her head. ‘Tell her to come back later.’
‘Of course I’m not telling her to come back later. She’s a very busy social worker. Once you’ve had a wash you’ll feel better. Now get up, please.’
I crossed to the window and opened the curtains. It was a bright clear day and the low winter sun shone on to Jade’s bed.
‘Close them bleeding curtains!’ Jade cursed from beneath the duvet. ‘I don’t feel good. I’ve got a headache.’
‘Of course you’ve got a headache!’ I said, seizing the opportunity to reinforce my lecture. ‘You had too much to drink. And if you’re not feeling well, imagine how your poor little baby is feeling. You can’t carry on like this, Jade. It’s selfish. The social services have given you a chance to prove yourself to be someone responsible enough to care for a baby and you’re throwing it away. Now get up, please, and come downstairs.’
I came out of her bedroom and closed the door behind me, hoping she’d think about what I’d said.
Jade hadn’t come downstairs by the time Rachel arrived, although I’d checked she was up and had had a bath. ‘She’ll be down in a minute,’ I confirmed to Rachel. Then I showed her through to the sitting room and made her a cup of her coffee.
‘Jade came home eventually last night?’ Rachel said as I put her coffee on the table within reach.
‘Yes,’ I said, surprised she knew. ‘You know what happened, then?’
Rachel gave a small nod. ‘The couple who live in the flat below the one where Jade was drinking with her friends phoned the police and complained about the noise. The police went into the flat and recognized Jade, and also a runaway who’s now been returned to her mother.’
‘Has Jade been in trouble with the police before?’ I asked, wondering how they’d recognized her.
‘Not exactly. She’s been with friends who have been in trouble. The police know the kids who hang around the estate by sight. And Jade always seems to be there – in the wrong place at the wrong time.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I said, feeling responsible. ‘I didn’t know she was going there. I’m very worried about Jade,’ and I brought Rachel up to date as she drank her coffee and made a few notes.
‘Meryl’s very concerned about Jade’s behaviour, too,’ Rachel said. ‘Especially after all she’s done to try and help her.’
I was puzzled. ‘How does Meryl know? Jade was out when she called round. Has she seen Jade?’
Rachel nodded. ‘One afternoon last week Jade was in a gang who were hanging around outside the school. It was only 5.30 but they all had cans of beer and bottles of wine. Jade ran off before Meryl could speak to her. Meryl tried phoning Jade’s mobile but she didn’t answer and she hasn’t returned her voicemail messages.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said again. ‘Whatever must Meryl think? Jade’s fine when she’s at home with me but as soon as she’s out with her friends something takes over.’
‘Crowd culture,’ Rachel offered. ‘If it’s any consolation, Jackie had the same problem with her.’ It wasn’t any consolation; in fact it made it worse. I felt I should have been doing a better job with Jade, not failing her as her mother had done. ‘At her age you can’t stop Jade going out if she has a mind to,’ Rachel added. ‘And at least you had a nice evening on Friday and day out on Saturday. I expect Jade enjoyed that.’
‘Yes, she did,’ I said. ‘We all did. Pity it couldn’t have continued.’
‘Are you talking about me?’ Jade said, suddenly appearing at the sitting-room door and making us start.
‘Yes. Come on in,’ Rachel said, taking Jade’s sudden arrival in her stride.
‘I’m gonna get a drink first,’ Jade said.
‘Would you like some breakfast?’ I asked.
‘Na. Later.’
‘Later, please,’ Rachel corrected, raising her eyebrows slightly at Jade’s lack of politeness.
Rachel and I waited until Jade had fetched herself a drink before continuing. Jade reappeared with a glass of orange juice and a handful of biscuits. When I foster younger children I regulate how many biscuits they eat, but at Jade’s age she had free access to the kitchen (and therefore the biscuits), so all I could do was advise on a good diet – but not now: there were other more pressing issues.
‘You’re not looking too bright,’ Rachel said to Jade as she slumped in the armchair and took a sip of her juice. Although Jade looked fresher after her bath she still looked quite pale.
Jade shrugged and began eating the biscuits, her body craving sugar after all the alcohol of the night before.
‘Are you taking your iron tablets?’ Rachel asked Jade.
‘Ain’t got none,’ Jade said.
‘Didn’t they give you any at the hospital?’ Rachel asked. ‘I thought all pregnant women were given an iron supplement.’
Jade shrugged. ‘Dunno.’
‘We’ve got Jade’s antenatal appointment on Wednesday,’ I said. ‘I’ll check then.’
‘Thanks,’ Rachel said, making a note. ‘I know Jade has missed some of her antenatal appointments. I think she’s overdue for a scan, aren’t you, Jade?’
‘Dunno,’ Jade said.
‘I’ll check,’ I said.
‘It’s important you look after yourself, as I’ve told you before,’ Rachel said to Jade. Jade shrugged.
‘I think we need to have another chat,’ Rachel