The Thirty List. Eva Woods
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EVA WOODS grew up in Ireland and lives in London, where she writes and teaches creative writing. She likes wine, pop music and holidays. And she thinks that online dating is like the worst board game ever invented. This is her first romantic comedy.
To Alexandra Turner,
my favourite primary-school teacher
Table of Contents
If you believe the films, there should be a moment in life when it all comes together. When you’ve got everything you ever wanted, and your happy ending is here. The music is swelling. Everyone’s smiling at you.
Well, this was mine. This was my happy ending. And I was more terrified than I’d ever been in my life.
Beside me in the portico of the church, Dad was nervously tying and retying his cravat, ready for the short walk we were about to undertake. It was only thirty seconds, tops. But once it was over, nothing would be the same again. I’d be married to Dan. I’d be someone’s wife.
‘All right, Muffin?’
‘Just a bit … you know.’
‘Nervous?’ In fact, I was frozen in terror, unable to move my vintage-style Mary Janes a single step forward. ‘I don’t blame you. All those eyes looking at you.’ He shuddered. ‘It’s just like my recurring nightmare about being on Countdown and only able to make three-letter words.’
‘Yes, it’s exactly like that.’
‘Except I’ve got my clothes on in this one.’
‘Thanks, Dad.’ Inside the door of the church, the organ was already playing. I hadn’t wanted