The Inner Secret. William Walker Atkinson

      I

       THE QUEST

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      Looking backward over the space of nearly sixty years, and reconstructing in my memory the thoughts and incidents of my boyhood from the age of ten until I was well advanced into my "teens", I can now see that I was always a seeker after a something but dimly defined in my mind but which represented a distinct "want" of my nature. That something so early sought after may be said to have been of the nature of an "Inner Secret" of successful achievement and personal power. Just why I should have come to the conclusion that there really existed an Inner Secret of Success and Personal Power—a something which when once known enabled one to achieve successful results in whatever was undertaken by him—I do not know. Perhaps it was the manifestation of an intuition; perhaps it was the result of a suggestion which I had absorbed from reading. At any rate I now see that the idea had become fixed in my consciousness, and that it colored all my youthful thought.

      I soon noticed that certain men seemed to possess some secret power which enabled them to "do things" and to step out from the crowd. I noticed that men lacking this power never were able to accomplish anything worth while, and were apparently doomed to remain in the crowd of those of mediocre attainment and commonplace achievement. I inquired diligently of my elders concerning the subject of this secret power, but my inquiries were answered either by sage reproof or else by suggestive shrugs of the shoulders. My mother assured me that success was the reward of honesty and morality. My father assured me that success was the reward of perseverance and hard work. One of my uncles told me that it was "something about" some men that made them successful, but that that "something" was beyond human knowledge—said he: "You either have it, or you haven't it, and that's all there is to it". My uncle was not in the ranks of those who "had it", I may add.

      Applying my mother's standard, and measuring the successful men I knew, as well as the unsuccessful ones, I soon came to see that honesty and morality, while quite excellent things, were not the infallible causes of success. I saw that there were some very honest and quite moral men who were far from successful—there must be something else needed, thought I. In the same way, I discovered that while perseverance and hard work were important personal characteristics, nevertheless, they did not always bring success; I knew many persevering and hard working men who were cursed with poverty and failure—here, again, thought I, the Inner Secret must be looked for elsewhere.

      So, finally, I came to accept, at least partially, my uncle's notion that the Inner Secret was to be found in that "something about" individuals which destined them for success. But, try as I would, I couldn't get over the idea that that "something about" such individuals might be acquired even when not originally possessed by the seeker after success. This idea, also, must have been more or less the result of intuition, for it was contrary to all that I was told by those around me who asserted the existence of that inner "something" in persons which made for success. So I began to read the popular accounts of the lives of successful men, in hopes of stumbling upon that Inner Secret.

      I remember very well that about this time I was greatly attracted by a book which one of my cousins had bought at a circus—it was entitled "The Life of P. T. Barnum", and was in the nature of an autobiography of that once very well known showman, who was really something more than a mere showman. As I now remember the book, it was much better than many of the later books written for the purpose of pointing out the Road to Success. It told of the successive rises and the several falls of that capable man; of how he won success and lost it afterward—lost it several times, in fact—only to win new success by the power of faith in himself and by n intelligent hard work.

      Barnum included in this book his celebrated lecture upon "The Art of Money-Getting", which, in its way, was an excellent treatise upon worldly wisdom. But of far greater value, in my eyes at least, was the expression of an inner faith and belief in himself on the part of old "P. T." (as we boys called him). It seemed to me as if this man had in some way tapped a vein of something savoring' of an Inner Secret, which carried him on to Success—though he seemed unconscious of that fact and attributed all the credit to himself and his traits of character.

      I remember that I was so impressed by this idea that, about a year later, when the big show was in our town, I called upon Mr. Barnum at his hotel and asked him about it. He disclaimed any such "something", however, although somewhat confusedly admitting that there "might be something to it, if we knew more about it"; he urged me to "work hard, save your money and use your wits". As I left him, glancing backward over my shoulder, I saw a strange expression. on his face, and a wistful look in his eyes. "That man knows more than he is willing to tell", thought I.

      I read Samuel Smiles "Self Help", and other books of that kind; all of these preached excellent sermons on Thrift, Work, Economy, etc., accompanied by convincing illustrations drawn from the lives of successful men. All this advice was good—some of it I afterward greatly profited by—but my missing Inner Secret was not to be found there. Afterward, I read accounts of the lives of great statesmen, warriors, and merchant princes, and obtained useful information from them—but there was no mention of the Inner Secret there, either.

      All that I could get out of the subject from my reading seemed to be that certain habits and characteristics made for success—self-confidence being one of the most important of these. But, nevertheless, I seemed to have even more clearly fixed in my mind the fact that there was, indeed, a "something about" these individuals which, if one could but also acquire it, would make him successful.

      By this time I was in my early twenties, doing reasonably well in the way of working my way up the ladder of business success as an employee. My quest for the Inner Secret was unabated. In spite of all the sage advice concerning the rules of success which was freely bestowed upon me by older men—principally by my employers—I still clung to my belief in the existence of such an Inner Secret, although at times my reason reproved me for so doing. The ordinary rules did not seem to account for the