Snap. Patti Wood
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SNAP
Copyright © 2012 by Patti Wood
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, or other — without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.
Portions of the section “Hands and Gestures,” found in chapter 10, appeared in slightly different form in Paid to Speak. Copyright © 2011 by the National Speakers Association. Used with permission.
The material in this book is intended for education. No expressed or implied guarantee as to the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given nor liability taken. The author’s experiences used as examples throughout this book are true, although in some cases identifying details such as name and location have been changed to protect the privacy of others.
Text design by Tona Pearce Myers
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Wood, Patti, date.
Snap : making the most of first impressions, body language, and charisma / Patti Wood.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-57731-939-9 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Self-presentation. 2. Impression formation (Psychology) 3. Body language. 4. Interpersonal relations. 5. Social perception. I. Title.
BF697.5.S44W66 2012
153.6—dc23
2012021384
First printing, October 2012
ISBN 978-1-57731-939-9
Printed in the USA on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper
New World Library is proud to be a Gold Certified Environmentally Responsible Publisher. Publisher certification awarded by Green Press Initiative. www.greenpressinitiative.org
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
For Roy
CONTENTS
Chapter 1. Getting and Giving Snap Impressions
Use Body Language to Accurately Read Others and Improve the Impression You Make
Chapter 2. What Happens in a Snap
Understand the Four First-Impression Factors: Credibility, Likability, Attractiveness, and Power
Get Off to a Great Start with Handshakes and Other Greetings
Chapter 4. The Face of First Impressions
Reading and Improving Aspects of Facial Expressions beyond Just Making Eye Contact and Smiling
Chapter 5. Connections in a Snap
How to Match, Mirror, Listen, and Use Body Windows
Chapter 6. Your Techno Impression
Impress Others by Phone, Email, Facebook, Twitter, Other Social Media, and Gadgets
Chapter 7. How You Look to Others in a Snap
See What Others See in You and Get a First-Impression Makeover
Shine in Interviews, Sales Calls, Meetings, Presentations, and Negotiations
Be Confident and Attract What You Want While Dating, Socializing, and Networking
Chapter 10. Snap Success Every Day
Put Snap Know-How to Work Each Day in Every Situation
What do people think of you when they first meet you? Everyone forms first impressions all the time — the new team member you met in the break room, the prospect you’re selling to, the woman interviewing you for a job, the online dating match you just connected with, the conference room full of people you just presented to. How can you improve the impression you make?
How do you feel about your ability to form accurate first impressions of others? How do you know if you can trust a person you’ve just met to be a good manager, employee, business partner, or friend; refinance your mortgage; or provide care for your toddler or parent? Are you good at reading people? Is your gut reaction accurate?
This book addresses all these questions and many more.
If you’ve ever wondered why you didn’t get a callback after you thought you’d aced an interview, or wondered how a business contact could go wrong, how a “friend” could turn out to be untrustworthy, or how you could feel an instant connection to someone you’ve just met, I’ll help you understand why.
Even after years of studying, speaking, and consulting on these processes, they still leave me with a sense of awe. It’s astonishing, but research shows