The Tech Talk. Michael Horne, PsyD
The Tech Talk
Strategies for Families in a Digital World
The Tech Talk
Strategies for Families in a Digital World
Michael Horne, PsyD
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division
Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.
Huntington, Indiana 46750
English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church for use in the United States of America copyright © 1994, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. — Libreria Editrice Vaticana. English translation of the Catechism of the Catholic Church: Modifications from the Editio Typica copyright © 1997, United States Catholic Conference, Inc. — Libreria Editrice Vaticana.
Every reasonable effort has been made to determine copyright holders of excerpted materials and to secure permissions as needed. If any copyrighted materials have been inadvertently used in this work without proper credit being given in one form or another, please notify Our Sunday Visitor in writing so that future printings of this work may be corrected accordingly.
Copyright © 2017 by Michael Horne, PsyD. Published 2017.
23 22 21 20 19 18 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts for critical reviews, no part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means whatsoever without permission from the publisher. For more information, visit: www.osv.com/permissions.
Our Sunday Visitor Publishing Division, Our Sunday Visitor, Inc., 200 Noll Plaza, Huntington, IN 46750; 1-800-348-2440.
ISBN: 978-1-68192-036-8 (Inventory No. T1789)
eISBN: 978-1-68192-038-2
LCCN: 2017950505
Cover design: Lindsey Riesen
Cover art: Shutterstock
PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
About the Author
Dr. Michael Horne has a doctorate in clinical psychology from the Institute for Psychological Sciences in Virginia (a Catholic graduate school integrating faith and psychology). He currently serves as the Director of Clinical Services for Catholic Charities of the Diocese of Arlington, where he has worked since 2012. Prior to this position, Dr. Horne worked in several Catholic mental health clinics in northern Virginia and Lincoln, Nebraska. In his clinical practice, Dr. Horne has had the privilege to work with many children, teenagers, and families who struggle with how to appropriately address and balance the influence of technology in their lives. Dr. Horne completed his doctoral dissertation on violent video games and the influence they have on the player.
Before pursing a doctorate, Dr. Horne received a BS in Radio-Television-Film from the University of Texas at Austin and worked in television for a number of years with KVR-TV in Austin and HoustonPBS. Because of his background in the media and his continued interest in that subject, he frequently gives talks on video games, social media, pornography, and parenting. He also writes a blog on parenting, which can be found at www.theduckeffect.com.
He lives in Fredericksburg, Virginia, with his wife, Kara, and their three children, who keep them on their toes and have them thinking hard about how to parent in the midst of the Wi-Fi jungle.
For Kara and our children — thank you for teaching me that being is gift.
Contents
Chapter One The Digital Landscape in Which We Live
Chapter Two Growing Up over Upgrading
Chapter Four Real (World) Friends
Chapter Five Battling the New Space Invaders
Chapter Six The Hidden Costs of Gaming
Chapter Eight Oversexed and Underage
Chapter Nine Cultivating a Healthy Family
Chapter Ten Parenting and Technology
Chapter Eleven Positively Reconnected
Acknowledgments
I would like to thank Jaymie Stuart Wolfe, Heidi Busse, and Cindy Cavnar for their guidance, patience, and encouragement throughout the writing process. Without them, this book would have never made the transition from concept to completion. I’d also like to thank Art and Laraine Bennett for suggesting that I could compile some of my talks on technology into a book, and then making the introductions necessary to take the next step. Thanks also to my brothers, Scott and James, who have been my closest friends and coconspirators since our summers together in London, many years ago. Last, but by no means least, I’d like to thank my parents, Susan and Jerry Horne, for teaching me what it means to parent with love and joyfully respond to God’s call.
Introduction
Have you ever heard someone say the following?
“When I try to talk to my kids, they just ignore me and keep staring at their tablets!”
Or maybe:
“It’s such a fight to get my son to turn off his video game and do his homework.”
Or even:
“This is the third time this week that I’ve found my daughter on her phone hours after she’s supposed to be in bed!”
These are all comments I have heard in my clinical practice from parents who are concerned about their kids and the role technology plays in their lives.
You might have made one of those comments yourself, or one like it. Over the years,