Etiquette Guide to Japan. Boye Lafayette De Mente
push their heads and trunks down repeatedly on the numerous daily occasions when bowing was the proper protocol. By the time children reached school age, bowing was automatic, almost instinctive. The educational system and the maturing process honed bowing know-how, making it an integral part of the Japanese personality and character.
There are three specific types of bow: the light bow, the medium bow, and the deep bow.
The last, called sai-keirei (sigh-kay-ray), or “highest form of salutation,” was commonly used during the feudal period but has grown increasingly unusual ever since. After the downfall of the last shogun it was for the most part used only toward the emperor. And with the democratization of Japan following World War II, the emperor renounced his divinity and the use of the sai-keirei to pay obeisance to him gradually declined. Except for traditionalists—who are usually elderly—the emperor is now treated like any other dignitary by most Japanese people. When greeting him a medium bow has come to be entirely proper.
In the medium or formal bow the arms are extended downward with the hands resting on the legs above the knees. The body is then bent to about a 45-degree angle. The longer the bow is held the more meaning it has. In a normal situation it is held for only two or three seconds.
During the light bow, the bow most often used today, the body is bent to an approximately 20-degree angle and the bow is held for only a second or so. The hands should be down at the sides when executing the light bow, but there are numerous occasions when this is impractical, such as when you are carrying something. The position of the hands has thus become more or less incidental, although it is polite to make an effort to bring them down to your sides.
Generally speaking, the medium bow is used when greeting dignitaries, when meeting those who are significantly senior to you and to whom you want to show a special degree of respect, and when expressing especially strong feelings of humility, sorrow, or apology to someone.
If you are in a situation where you encounter the same dignitaries or highly placed seniors several times in one day, you should greet them with a medium bow the first time you meet them that day and a light bow thereafter.
The influence of the bow in Japanese society is so powerful that foreign residents studying the language and associating frequently with Japanese are susceptible to picking up the custom by osmosis. I sometimes catch myself bowing when I am talking to a Japanese person on the telephone!
Years ago, young Japanese mothers virtually gave up the custom of teaching their children how and when to bow from their toddler days. Nowadays, children are required to bow in school and on numerous other social occasions, but the practice is not being instilled into their reflexes or psyche as it was in the past. Young people entering the work force after the 1980s, especially those entering the retail service industries, had to be taught to bow as part of their company training.
But the bow remains a vital part of daily life and work in Japan, and it is not likely to disappear within the foreseeable future even though the younger generations are assuming a much more casual attitude toward it. There is, in fact, a pronounced tendency among Japanese to gradually revert to traditional attitudes and forms of behavior as they age. They find many of the old customs more satisfying and fulfilling than practices copied from the West.
Most foreigners, particularly new arrivals, aren’t expected to bow, unless in the most formal situations. Even long-term foreign residents who have picked up many of the customs, still feel self-conscious bowing since getting it wrong is easy to do, and they know that the sight of a foreigner—particularly a Westerner—bowing will draw some degree of interest among the Japanese present. Many non-Japanese get around this by offering a nod, sustained for a couple of seconds, which is entirely acceptable, and it’s also a gesture the Japanese use themselves.
For a fully assimilated foreigner, meaning a very long-term resident who speaks the language flawlessly and is seen as an expert in the country, this probably won’t do. But as Tokyo becomes more of a center for global business, the most common type of foreign resident seems to be a kind of “tweener,” neither a neophyte nor a wizened master. He or she speaks decent Japanese, has an appreciation for most things Japanese, but is far from being assimilated, and probably never will be.
Customers at department stores and other public places are not expected to return all of the bows of store employees, but the bows of receptionists in company lobbies should be acknowledged with a slight nodding of the head. A casual nod of the head is also all that is usually called for in more traditional hotels and restaurants, places where the staff regularly bows to guests.
Keep in mind that deep, long bows are reserved for occasions when one demonstrates extraordinary appreciation, respect, humility, or sorrow. Again, older people, especially longtime friends who do not see each other often, will typically bow deep and long as a way of expressing deeply felt emotions. When such bows involve old friends, they are the Japanese equivalent of a warm embrace.
It is still common in many Japanese companies for man agers in sections and departments to make a variety of announcements or a short speech each morning to the assembled employees, at the end of which all perform the traditional cho-rei (cho-ray-ee), or “morning bow.”
9
Shaking Hands the Japanese Way
The Western custom of shaking hands has been widely accepted in Japan—but although done in virtually all segments of Japanese society, it has not replaced the traditional bow or reduced the bow’s overall importance.
Many Japanese use a smooth combination of bowing and shaking hands. There are, however, specific situations when the bow takes precedence over the handshake. These include formal events, especially those involving groups of people and dignitaries when shaking hands with each individual is not practical.
Seemingly all Japanese people, including women, now automatically shake hands with foreigners. They may also combine a handshake with a bow when meeting foreigners for the first time, especially if they are interested in establishing a business relationship with them. In this case the bow serves to demonstrate additional politeness and sincerity. However, Japanese generally dispense with the bow altogether when meeting someone they know or during informal and casual occasions.
A major faux pas when meeting someone in Japan is to grab their hand, clamp it firmly and give it a good, vigorous shake. In the West, a firm handshake is a sign of friendliness and a positive attitude. This isn’t really the case in Japan, nor in the rest of Asia. The handshake is not indigenous to this part of the world, and so some people, particularly the older generation, continue to feel a bit uncomfortable with it. Many Japanese, usually the ones without a lot of overseas work experience, will offer a relatively weak handshake, which nonetheless should never be taken for aloofness or anything else negative.
The best approach when shaking hands is to “test the waters” in the first nanosecond or so of the engagement. In other words, just as your hands make contact, try to determine the firmness of your partner’s grip and then respond with similar pressure.
Of course, when someone offers his or her hand immediately, it is perfectly all right to take it. However, you should try to have the presence of mind to do it the Japanese way, instantly following the other person’s lead if he or she begins reaching for a name-card instead of extending a hand.
A growing number of Japanese in international business are totally familiar with Western behavior. They do not bow to foreigners or expect foreigners to bow to them. The behavior of these individuals is obvious enough that the question of whether or not to bow never comes up.
10
The Protocol of Seating
As already noted, Japanese society was traditionally arranged vertically, with superiors placed over inferiors in a hierarchy of ranks that extended from the emperor above to the lowest commoner below. Gradations were minutely defined and separations were meticulously maintained. The seating and line-up of people demonstrated such things as class, rank, age, and gender.
In any situation involving two or more people, the senior or ranking individual took, or was given, the seat of honor. This, of course, is a custom