Elephant Bucks. Sheldon Bull
now is not the time to be specing a TV script.
There are a million people out there writing spec scripts. I mean, really, a million. All of them have time to sit home night after night, week after week, and watch My Name Is Earl and How I Met Your Mother. All of the spec scripts that are being read right now in Hollywood — by agents and managers and story editors and producers and network executives and by the kid who picks up Indian food for the writers of The Simpsons — are episodes of series that are currently in production.
If you don't have time right now to be familiar with most of the sitcoms that are currently in production, not only at the broadcast networks like CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox, but also what's on all the cable outlets like HBO and Showtime and F/X and Comedy Central, then now is not the time for you to be trying to make it as a sitcom writer. If you have never sampled Reba or Reno 911, I promise you that your competitors have, and they are way ahead of you.
Write what you love, but write what is current.
THE SCRIPT THAT PRODUCERS WANT TO READ
Doesn't it make sense to spec the hottest sitcom on TV if that one also happens to be your favorite show? Well, if the hottest sitcom on TV is also your favorite sitcom, and that's the series you feel most comfortable writing, then, yes, on your very first spec sitcom script, go for it.
But as I just said a couple of paragraphs ago, there are thousands of other aspiring writers who are, at this very moment, already specing the hottest sitcom on TV. There are thousands of aspiring writers who are, at this very moment, specing every sitcom on TV. You can be absolutely certain that there is a burgeoning, billowing glut of spec scripts for the hottest shows. Producers and agents are being inundated right now with spec episodes of the most popular sitcoms. Everyone is already tired of reading them.
During the ‘80's and early ‘90's, no producer or staff writer anywhere wanted to read another spec Cheers. We'd already read fourteen million of them. We couldn't read any more. If the cast of Cheers could've been kept young by artificial means, or reproduced digitally, Cheers could have run for six hundred more seasons just on spec scripts alone. Those of us producing other series at the time could not bear to slog through still another spec Cheers. It was too much Cliff and Norm already. We were sick of it.
When Seinfeld was king, you could have built a stairway to heaven with the spec Seinfeld scripts pouring out of laser printers all over L.A. The same was true of Friends. I'll bet you that more paper has been used to print spec episodes of Seinfeld and Friends than was used to publish all of the novels in the world during all of recorded history.
Producers want to read a spec script that is as fresh as possible.
Producers are much more likely to open a spec script if they're just a tiny bit intrigued. I always was. If my first thought when I picked up a spec script was, “Hey, I haven't seen too many of these,” or “This writer's got some guts,” then I was much more likely to actually open the script and read it!
Yes, I want you to spec the series that you know and love, but if you can find a way to know and love a series that isn't the hottest one on TV — the same series that absolutely everyone else is specing already — then I think you have a slightly better chance of getting your spec script read. As a producer, I would rather read my first or second spec Reba than read my ten-millionth spec Will and Grace.
TOO SOON TO “HEAR IT IN YOUR HEAD”
Sometimes a new series will come on the air with all kinds of hype, not just from the network that is trying to sell it to you, but also from the press. Magazines and newspapers and blogs will publish or post a million articles about this hot new sitcom, and you'll think, “This is the show to spec! This is the scorching new sitcom that will be my ticket to wealth and fame!”
But if it's brand new, you won't be able to hear it in your head! How can you? It just premiered! Even the writers who are working on the series can't hear it in their heads yet! How can you?
You want to write the best spec script possible. You can only do that if you're intimately familiar with the series you have chosen. No one can be intimately familiar with a series that has only been on the schedule for three weeks!
And what if this hot new sitcom gets cancelled while you're still writing? It happens. Remember Emily's Reasons Why Not? It premiered on ABC in 2006 to all kinds of hoopla. It starred Heather Graham. It was going to be a big hit. And what happened? It was cancelled after one episode! One!
If a new sitcom comes on the air, and you instantly fall in love with it, by all means watch it every week. Make notes. Come up with story ideas. But don't start on a spec script until it gets picked up for a second season.
PLANET MEGAMALL
Let's say you've taken your first step toward writing your spec sitcom script. You've picked which series that you want to spec. You've picked that series because you love it. You watch it all the time. You don't care what your friends say. You know the characters so well that you can hear them in your head. You know the stories that have already been told. The series you have picked is still in production, and it isn't the hottest sitcom on TV at the moment.
Your next step, if you haven't taken this one already, is to get on the Web, go to Planet MegaMall, and order at least one sample script from your chosen series. It's going to cost you ten bucks, plus shipping. But you're going to do it anyway, even if you have to borrow the money from your parents.
Why?
Because once you have that sample script, there is no more doubt for you about the format of the series you have chosen to spec. You will look at the sample script from Planet MegaMall and know how to adjust your script-writing software. You may not have to adjust your software at all. If you write with Final Draft or one of the other script writing programs, you can click “Sitcom 1” or “Sitcom 2” and have the right margins instantly. But holding a printed copy of an actual episode of your favorite series in your hands is just too good a resource to ignore. You'll see how the real writers of that series do their stage directions. You'll be sure you're spelling all the characters' names correctly. You'll see the jokes on paper in front of you.
I think that a wannabe writer who doesn't use this resource is crazy. If I could have sent away for scripts from the series that I was specing back when I was trying to break in, I would have saved myself all manner of doubt and guesswork. You don't have time for guesswork. You are in competition with a million other wannabes who are all making use of this same resource. Don't be cheap now. Go to Planet MegaMall and order your sample script!
THE WEB
You have an enormous advantage that I didn't have when I was writing spec scripts. You have the Web. Your favorite sitcom has its own website, plus ten other unofficial websites. You can go to these websites and browse through all of the stories they've ever done. You can often pick up detailed information on the characters. You can fill in all the blanks! Lucky you. I was guessing. You don't have to guess!
CHAPTER RECAP — THE ELEPHANT REMEMBERS
Isn't it your dream to write an episode of your favorite sitcom? That was my dream.
Well, that's exactly what I'm advising you to do! Write an episode of your favorite show! Write the show that you love, even if you're afraid to admit that this is your favorite. Write it in secret. I don't care. Don't worry about the “cool” show or the “hip” show. Which one do you look forward to watching every week?
I wrote some spec scripts for some pretty forgettable shows, but I sure had a good time doing it! This should be fun! And while you're enjoying yourself, you're learning!
It's much easier to learn and to make yourself work when you're doing something that you enjoy. Keep that in