Guide Me in My Recovery. John T. Farrell

      This book is dedicated to

       Father Henri Nouwen

      and Father Mychal Judge,

      two spiritual masters

      whose paths I can only

       hope to follow.

       Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction: Teach Me to Pray

Morning Prayers

Prayers for Healing

       Prayers for Acceptance

       Third Step Prayers

       Prayers for the Ups and Downs of Life

       Prayers for Relationships

       Prayers for Protection

       Prayers for Walking through the Shadows

       Prayers for Addicts

       Prayers of Gratitude

       Prayers for Spiritual Connection

       Evening Prayers

       Books for Your Spiritual Journey

Acknowledgments

      I would like to gratefully acknowledge Stuart Smith who believed I could write this book; Lynne Vittorio who encouraged me; and Nancy Schenck who kept me on task.

Introduction

      When initially encountering a program of recovery, many people balk. The reasons for their hesitation are numerous and varied, but often they focus on the spiritual aspects of recovery. Do I have to believe in God? they ask. What kind of God are you talking about? I have a lot of trouble with the God thing, so do I have listen to this stuff? Is the program about religion? What is prayer anyway? What is the point of praying?

      Those experienced in recovery, of course, reassure newcomers by explaining to them the difference between religion and spirituality. Religion, we tell them, is about theology and what we believe. Spirituality, on the other hand, is about who we are and how we live. We go on to explain that a successful program of recovery should be about relationships— relationships with God as we understand God, a relationship with ourselves, relationships with each other, and relationships with the world around us. By focusing on right relationships as a foundational part of our recovery, we tell them about connecting with principles, spiritual in nature, which will guide us in our recovery. And we finish by saying that one of the best ways to connect with our spiritual natures—or with our higher power or with our Ground of Being or with our Essence or with God— is to pray.

      My own situation in early recovery is a case in point. I grew up in a rule-ridden faith and had long abandoned it. At that point in my life I wasn’t especially hostile to spiritual expression. Rather, I was indifferent. I had long since decided that religion, spirituality, and prayer were meaningless to my life. I just couldn’t see the point of believing in much of anything besides myself.

      As I grew in my recovery, I began to change. I came to understand that a power greater than myself could relieve me of the insanity called the disease of addiction. I began to consider who or what God actually was and what role a higher power played in my recovery. Although I initially encountered the divine as mystery, I eventually came to discern God as the center and the source of goodness and love. As I began to amend my life and form right relationships with those around me and those whom I had harmed, I developed a heightened connectedness to humanity. I also sensed a guiding power or principle that I understood as love and compassion.

      At this stage, the poetry of Walt Whitman and John Donne were especially helpful in my growth. It was Whitman who said, “For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” John Donne wrote “No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. . .any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.”

      Their poetical theory of the interconnectedness of humanity enhanced the spiritual healing that was transforming me. Their line of thinking was an antidote to my addictive self who sought isolation, wishing to truly form my