Dukkha Reverb. Loren W. Christensen
negative things in myself and I’m trying to fix them.”
“I see,” Kim says, not giving away if she thought that answer was a little too good, which it kind of was. “Mai is a dragon. Interesting that you are a policeman, because it is dragons that are the protectors and usually a symbol of the male. Dragons are short-tempered and stubborn.”
“Uh oh,” I say, glancing at Mai. She smiles then raises her eyebrows threateningly.
Kim watches me as she sips from her cup. “Tigers, dragons, pigs. I think the zodiac is a lot of bullshit, but it is interesting, is it not?”
I start to smile, but stop myself when she doesn’t. “Yes, very. I don’t believe in it much either.”
“I see,” she says, eyeing me. “That answer was very tiger. What if I had said that I believed in it? What would you have said?”
I swallow hard. “I uh… I would have probably agreed with that too.”
She nods. “I like your honesty, Sam. It is rare these days, is it not? I like you, so understand that you do not have to, what is that phrase? Kiss up?” Samuel nods. “Do not kiss up to me. Be honest and we will be fine, you and I.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Kim nods once and watches me a moment longer before turning to Ly. “I am tired and would like to go back to my room now.” She looks back to me. “Your father will inform you of the, uh, situation with Lai Van Tan. I am afraid you have come at a dangerous time.” When Ly starts to back up her chair, Kim raises her hand to stop. “I am happy to meet you, Sam. I am happy that Samuel has his son.”
I stand quickly, bow. “I am very pleased to meet you. Thank you for welcoming me to your home. I look forward to talking with you again.”
She nods regally and wiggles her fingers at Ly.
“Subtle, is she not?” Samuel says, after Ly has rolled Kim through the archway. “But do not worry. She likes you. If she did not, she would have eaten your face down to your skull.” He stands. “Mai, Tex, I am going to take Sam to the garden.”
Tex scoots off the sofa and, incredibly, lands softly on his hands. He extends his right one. “Nice for you to meet me,” he says. I try not to smile and I say the same thing in return. He hand-slaps out the front door.
“Sam, you must be exhausted,” Mai says.
“More than exhausted. I got a thick fog in my head, and my stomach feels like I’ve eaten a bushel of green apples. I could go to sleep right now but I’m too excited to see both of you, and to see Vietnam.”
Samuel and Mai both nod. “It is seven thirty now,” Samuel says. “I want to show you the layout in the back, then we will move your things into your room and you can crash if you want. Do they still say ‘crash’ for sleep?”
I smile. “It’s a little dated but I think most would understand.”
“Mai, please finish the books for the Cholon store. I need to take them to Lin in the morning. Then join us in the dining room in thirty minutes. Sam, would you like a bowl of phở before you crash?”
“Yes, that would be wonderful.”
“See you in thirty minutes, Sam,” Mai says with a smile that makes my heart rev up like one of those motorbikes.
*
I follow Samuel through the archway.
“This is the dining room,” he says, moving around a gorgeous, black lacquered dining room table that must be ten feet long. One entire wall has been painted an abstract of what looks to be Saigon at night. The artist has used reds, yellows, and blacks to depict a chaotic scene of excitement, movement, and happy faces jammed in a congestion of pedestrians, cars, and motorbikes.
“I think I was in that a little while ago,” I say.
“No doubt,” Samuel says. “You will eventually get used to it as well as to the noise. Come this way.”
I look out a sliding glass door at the darkness beyond. “It would still be light in Portland.”
Samuel laughs as he slides open the door. “Many differences here.”
I follow him out onto a small cobblestone porch that overlooks a walled yard that is at least twice the size of my backyard. Artfully laid ground lighting follow stone paths that wind around groves of bamboo, illuminate large stone lanterns, show off towering palm trees, and encircle a large pond. On the left side of the yard, sparser lighting reveals a one-story building, beige, I think, separate from the main house and partially concealed by a long hedge. The structure extends to the rear of the yard. That must be where I’ll be bedding down.
“Beautiful, Samuel, absolutely incredible. It reminds me of Hawaii. Are there koi in the pond?”
“Yes, come look.” He points at a cluster of sandals at the side of the porch. “Please choose a pair. The bigger ones are mine. I think they will work for you.” They’re too small but I don’t say anything. We move down the half dozen steps and follow the lit stone pathway to the pond. “I know how much you like to play in koi ponds” he says.
I nod, remembering the desperate “playtime,” slip-sliding around while trying not to get clobbered by a drug-crazed behemoth.
“Here,” he says, gesturing to a single stone bench. “Let us sit. There are nine koi. Three of them are over fifty years old; one is my age, sixty-five, that one there, the mostly white one with the black spots on its head.”
“They’re magnificent,” I say, looking at the color-splashed fish twist and turn.
“Yes, they are. In Japanese folklore, the koi represents a symbol of strength and bravery. It is said that it first shows its courage by battling its way up a waterfall. When it is caught, it shows its bravery again as it lies still on the cutting board, awaiting the knife like a samurai facing a sword. In ancient China, legend tells of how any koi that succeeded in climbing the water falls, a point called Dragon Gate on the Yellow River, would be transformed into a dragon. The koi represents the will, you see, the will to go against hardship to reach its destiny. And the dragon, of course, represents power and ferocity.”
“Interesting,” I say, watching the white one swim circles around the others. When Samuel doesn’t say anything for a moment, I look up at him. He’s watching the white koi too.
“Their journey is like ours, no?” he asks. “Yours and mine?”
My eyes mist over. Hope he doesn’t notice.
“My sifu, Shen Lang Rui, has taught me many things over the years. I was a mess after I was released from prison. My head case… is that still the expression?”
I nod. “Dated. Very nineteen sixties, but I understand.”
“Thank you. My head case was not because of the four years I spent in prison. My experience there was hard but not impossibly so. In fact, it led me to my teacher, and for that I am grateful. No, it was the haunting of the men I killed. Sifu’s training me in the martial arts and teaching me meditation techniques helped me through the pain. After about three years, I think it was, when my head was on straight again, he told me to get a tattoo of a koi, to celebrate my progress.”
“For overcoming obstacles.”
“Yes. Sifu is a Buddhist… actually, he’s Christian too… but speaking from the Buddhist part, he said that the koi represented my struggle against suffering. So I did as he told me.”
“You did?”
“Yes, and about ten years after that, which was about twenty years ago, he told me to add a dragon tattoo to it.”
“To represent your power and fierceness.”
“No, I am a pussy cat. It was to represent