Rekindle Your Love: Psychological Tactics for Big Success In Relationships. Leanne M. Shine
Copyright
© 2012 by Leanne M. Shine
ISBN 9781456611996
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, copied, stored, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, photographic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or in any information storage and retrieval systems, without prior written permission of the author or publisher, except where permitted by law.
Terms of Use
This book is intended solely for dispensing of information of an educational value for the purpose of helping those who read it to restore a failed personal relationship. Application of the information within is recommended in line with a rational and responsible approach to your individual circumstance.
If you use the information within to assist with repairing your damaged relationship, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for the results of your actions.
Table of Contents
Introduction
1: Love is a Many Splendored Thing…Until it isn’t. What Went Wrong?
2: Let’s Stay Together
3: Is it Too Late? Saving a Relationship That’s Already Ended
4: Reunited…Maybe
5: Your Back Together How to Stay Together
6: When it’s Really Over
7: They Are Out of My League, or Maybe Not
Introduction
The road to love has never been a smooth one. From Adam and Eve’s problem with produce, to Samson and Delilah’s unplanned makeover couples have struggled to find and keep a healthy relationship. Most will agree that the secret to a happy healthy relationship is honest communication and common interest, mixed with a sense of humor and a liberal dash of understanding.
But what do you do when things are already on a rocky path? How do you preserve your relationship? Or even rekindle the dying flames of love?
In this book we are going to offer you some proven advice to improve communication, help your existing relationship and maybe even save you from breaking up, or reunite you with your lover. However, some relationships have really run their course, and it would be healthier for everyone involved to move on. If that is the case this book won’t help that relationship long term, but the ideas in it will help your next relationship right away!
We are going to discuss why couples break up, how you can avoid potential relationship problems, and what to do when you do go your separate ways.
Each chapter is filled with practical advice and ideas, but it is up to you to tailor it to your specific needs, and personality. If you are true to yourself and honest you will find a lot of benefit in the pages that follow.
1: Love is a Many Splendored Thing…Until it isn’t. What Went Wrong?
Couples break up for many reasons. In this chapter we are going to explore some of the most common ones, and what the real underlying cause is for these problems.
One of the most common causes for breakups is infidelity, cheating and dishonesty. There are several reasons why you or your partner might feel compelled to cheat.
People cheat because
Often it’s the ego boost. When women first show interest in a man they agonize over their outfits, spend time on their hair and makeup, flirt and behave differently. Some men begin to miss those actions that made them feel special and interested in their partners in the first place.
Often they became in danger of cheating when they are faced with a woman showing interest in them and going out of their way to make them feel special.
On the other side of the equation, when a guy is first showing interest in a woman, he tends to be responsive to her needs, to make her feel like he is really listening and to go out of his way to surprise her with little gestures that make her feel adored. As the couple becomes more comfortable these little gestures become less common.
Ladies you can avoid this by making sure that you pay attention to and appreciate your partner. One great way of doing this is to make sure and dress up every now and then, especially if you know he loves you in heels, or a favorite pair of jeans, or likes your hair down. These little gestures will remind him of the early magic phase of your relationship, and as an added bonus that little effort will go a long way towards reminding you that you’re still a sexy, alluring woman. Mom jeans and sweats definitely have their place, but mixing it up sometimes shows your still interested, not only in him but in yourself as well.
Guys don’t take your partner for granted. Notice when she changes her hair or does something new, it doesn’t matter if you have been together six months or sixty years, she still needs to know you find her attractive. Consider planning little date nights or adventures to keep it fresh, and now might be a good time to pick up some flowers or her favorite candy, little gestures can go a long way toward preserving that first date feeling for years to come.
Remember it’s not that they are cheating because they found someone younger, more attractive or more interesting, often they are cheating because this person is showing the interest in them you USED to show, and making them feel the way you USED to make them feel!
Reconciliation with a cheating partner is one of the most difficult things that most of us ever try to do. We are caught up in our own feelings of hurt and betrayal and we wonder how we can ever trust again.
Oddly sometimes the way we find out can make a big difference in how we react and if reconciliation is possible.
If your partner confesses
They say confession is good for the soul, but what is good for the soul may not be good for your relationship. On one hand the air is cleared and the person has been brave enough to tell you about their mistake. This is a good sign as it often means that they value you and your relationship. However it could also be based on personal guilt and a selfish need to confess so that they can stop feeling like a bad person. No matter the motivation the cheating party is the best person to hear it from, and finding out from this source offers you the best chance at reconciliation.
You find out from a friend or acquaintance
Not only do you experience all the feelings of being cheated on but now you have an extra layer of embarrassment. You start to imagine that everyone knew but you and you feel foolish. Often it forms a rift between you and the friend who told you, as your mind initially denies the truth or you take out some of your resentment on the person who told you.
If you can get past this and approach your partner in a calm rational way you can open a discussion, if they admit it then it’s easier to move towards healing, but if they lie or deny that they cheated then it’s more difficult to reconcile.
Caught in the act!
This is the absolute worse way of finding out and visual evidence can be etched in your memory seemingly forever. If you catch your partner cheating, turn around and leave.
Go to a friend or family member’s house, go to a crowded restaurant, do not under any circumstances confront them then. Get away from the situation; it’s healthier and safer for everyone involved to avoid the drama and intensity that direct conflict will surely arouse.
If your partner pursues you or tries to get you to come back and talk to them just say you will talk tomorrow, or that you will call them when you’re ready to talk about it and escape the situation as quickly as possible.
It is possible to reconcile if you have caught your partner this way, but it is the most difficult, and you will both have to work even harder to gain trust.
Also remember if your partner has cheated it