Chronicle of a Silence Endured. Guido da Verona
Chronicle of a Silence Endured
By: Guido Verona
Copyright 2014 Guido Verona,
All rights reserved.
Published in eBook format by eBookIt.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-4566-2173-5
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
Cover Artwork: Nicole Fredrickson
I dedicate this book to my entire family.
Mom, I love you most of all.
Thank you, Nicole, for your stunning contribution
to the cover of this book.
Preface
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Additionally, in this book I am not endorsing any particular religion, nor am I forcing my opinions on anyone. I am telling a story, and I am telling it as best I can.
This book arrives to the world as the knee-jerk reflex of my own personal challenges dealing with the Vatican and church sex scandals that have plagued the world for far too long. Today, they continue to wreak havoc on the lives of its members and survivors. I consider it a blessing, an honor, but above all a duty to be Catholic. Yet, this is not a sole Catholic issue. It is not a sole Vatican issue. It is an issue of evildoing in the world. According to the latest UN claims, the numbers of cases from the Catholic churches alone reach numbers in the tens of thousands.
This is the spirit in which this book was written, and the spirit in which the story unfolds.
Let us not also forget that all families have secrets too. That’s a given. However, when the secrets that are being kept are directly linked to childhood sexual abuse, abandonment, neglect, and rejection – all across a single life – the cost to the victim’s livelihood, their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health comes at a very high price and with very powerful and potentially destructive consequences. This book has also been written as a warning to all families, irrespective of their background, history or demographic, as well as a source of courage and inspiration to those who are still living under the sentence of silence that comes with the shame and guilt of their abuse.
The events described in this book are becoming increasingly universal, and they cannot be allowed to perpetuate within any family group under any circumstances, and that is what makes the topic so important and so relevant.
Recovering from multiple layers of childhood abuse and the ensuing post traumatic stress is not something someone ‘just gets over’. The act of avoiding and withdrawing from family and the pressures of life in general only exacerbate the problem. Often, the family also holds the key to the healing, which makes the family’s courage and their ability to confront the truth just as important as it is for the victim.
This book is a tough read emotionally. The ‘hero’ is very lean and flat. I did this on purpose. When you are consistently the victim of abuse, the lens through which life is seen and experienced filters out much of the joy of living. Fortunately, there are seasons of joy and happiness in even the saddest of lives, but it was critical to have both the storyline and our hero as stripped down as possible in order for the drama to develop with deep focus and intensity.
The reader will find that critical to the development of the story is its spiritual aspect. I believe that no psychological problem should be addressed without serious considerations taken for the condition of the soul. Psychological problems make an easy target for the devil, and spirituality and psychology integration is an emerging, evolving branch of research that requires more attention today than ever. Investigation in this arena is, in my opinion, the best of both possible worlds. My curiosity about the phenomena is genuine.
Finally, true healing takes place in the field that is called a state of grace with one’s personal God. It is achieved through unity with nature, ourselves, God and the universe. I believe that by integrating psychology and spirituality the sick and the suffering ultimately acquire the power to heal, to love genuinely, and to persevere.
Let us pray and hope together, as it is my sincere hope that you enjoy and grow from this piece.
Your friend always,
-Guido Verona
1
Flashbulb
But Jesus said to him “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”
-Luke 22:48 NIV
“I just can’t believe with the religious foundation that you were raised with that you are living your life this way!”
As the blood slowly crawled up to our hero’s head, he turned his gaze towards her and gently answered,
“It’s true, isn’t it. I am living in conflict and God cannot be happy about that.”
“No He can’t,” she continued, “and you must remember that we were all put on earth for a purpose, each of us, all of us have a reason why we are here and marriage is the major building block for God’s blessings.” She was tense in her tone, working herself up. Her blood too, it seems, was moving within her small frame the same way it was for our hero.
He replied, “Oh, I understand perfectly what you are saying to me. And you’re right. I see it the same way you do.”
She shook her head in stern agreement, conviction.
Then, after a long pause he said, “But tell me, what you do about your feet being cut off as a child?”
In a jerk reflex, her eyes darted back at him and her mouth fell open. No response, just shock….the unmistakable trace of embarrassment clinging to her countenance.
Our hero started feverishly,
“What do you do when your hands and feet have been cut off at the age of 8, taken from you? Do you have any idea how hard assimilation is for me? You see, Andrea, we all can’t walk the same way you do anymore than we can’t all hold on to the things that we love most the same way you do. It’s easy for people who have not gone through this to point the finger and say we are simply defiant, rebellious or that we should get over it. Did you know that research has shown that the brain functions of post-trauma survivors are different than those without? The trauma-exposed brain simply cannot choose and self-regulate with the same ease and accuracy as one that has not been, or at least not to the same degree. Those of us who have to endure the rest of our lives with the weight of this cross…with what feet do we walk towards our dreams in this world? With what hands do we hold on to those people and things we love most, including your God Himself? The best we can do is work towards forgiveness, and still the world, not knowing any better, expects us to just get over this like it’s nothing, when in fact it’s everything. And so we mask our suffering and incompetence with the hopes that everything will work itself out, that our weaknesses, our amputated souls won’t fail us or scare off the people in our lives. And that’s a hell of a lot to deal with. Living like this consumes tremendous amounts of energy. Moving moment to moment of a life lived with this is exhausting, especially when you didn’t do a damn thing to deserve it. That’s the real killer, knowing you didn’t do a damn thing. The devil himself did it, but it is you who carries the guilt. My question has always been, does God make exceptions for people like us?”
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