Fish Out of Agua:. Michele Carlo
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Praise
for FISH OUT OF AGUA
“Poignant, funny and authentic. Michele Carlo writes about a lost New York with a cinematic eye, a keen ear, and a huge heart.”
—Janice Erlbaum, author of Girlbomb and Have You Found Her
“If you’ve sadly suspected that the last decades have somehow left us with a New York far too polished and antiseptic clean, way too fashionably heeled, sexually savvy, snarky and glib, then you have every reason to celebrate Michele Carlo’s writing for reassuring us that this is clearly not the case.
The humor, heart—and every alternately sweet and razor-sharp note of her writing—reach far past the edges of this island. Her houses, her boroughs, and every crack in every sidewalk weave a strangely beautiful and universal map of that thing doomed and damned, charmed and graced: the human condition.”
—Dan Kennedy, author of Rock On and Loser Goes First
“Michele Carlo is a force to be reckoned with. I have worked with her at the Moth for six years, and she has a unique talent for bringing to life, onstage and in her writing, the many wonderful characters from her life. Her stories are extremely original, and yet she tells them in a way that makes them completely relatable to anyone. I am a fan, and if you read her work, you soon will be too.”
—Catherine Burns, artistic director of the Moth
“I have known and worked with Michele Carlo since 1995, and each and every time I have seen her perform she has delivered funny, warm, insightful and touching stories. Her take on life as a Latina is the most original I have ever seen. She is an important voice who makes a huge impact.”
—Linda Nieves Powell, author of Free Style and director of Latino-Flavored Productions
“Michele Carlo’s writing captures the electricity and insanity of a moment in time that always seems equally capable of either blossoming into utopia or spiraling into apocalypse. It has a sweetness and danger that never feels forced and a crackling sense of humor with its own brand of seriousness.”
—Patrick William Gallagher, editor, Animal Farm, former managing editor of Mr. Beller’s Neighborhood
FISH OUT OF AGUA
My Life on Neither Side of the (Subway) Tracks
Michele Carlo
CITADEL PRESS
Kensington Publishing
For all who knew I could do this.
And for those who thought I couldn’t.
Both know who they are.
But most of all…for Lucy and Rudy.
Certain identifying names, characteristics, dates and places have been changed to protect anonymity.
Some characters and events are composites; some timelines have been expanded or compressed; some dialogue has been reconstructed.
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION: Spanish on Sunday (part 1)
1 A Tale of Two Abuelas
2 The Illumination of St. Lucy
3 Turkeys (or, The Brief, Wondrous Life of Señor Pavo)
4 Jackie O and the Boy from East 106th Street
5 La Muñeca
6 La Vergüenza y las Sinvergüenzas (The Shame and the Shameless)
7 Iglesia con Pollo
8 Pioneers (Little Enough to Ride for Free, Little Enough to Ride Your Knee)
9 Kittenworld
10 Bloodsisters
11 Titi Dulce’s Revolution
12 Spanish on Sunday (part 2)
13 Just Another Day in the Park
14 La Pirata
15 Spanish on Sunday (part 3)
16 Secret Summer
17 Buhre Avenue Sucks!
18 8-BC
19 When the Wizard Walked By
20 My Fundillo
21 q Semilla Malo (Bad Seed)
22 Spanish on Sunday (part 4: El Cuco, la Chupra Cabra y la Baina—The Bogeyman, the Goatsucker, and the Whatchamacallit)
23 The Gift
24 Kill Whitey Day
25 Night of the Black Chrysanthemum
26 Keep Me Searching for an Ounce of Gold
27 Heat (Escape from CBGB’s, part 1)
28 The Politics of Panties
29 The Clam
30 EZ Eddie
31 Escape from 192 Schoolyard (To Be Good Is Not Enough When You Dream of Being Great)
32 Uncle Junior
33 Showtime
34 Attack of the Republi-Ricans
35 Redemption Birthday
36 She Looks Like Manhattan
37 Contraband
38 Spanish on Sunday (part 5: Papa de Sofa)
39 “Matte Kudesai”
40 After Dark
41 Good-bye ’80s! (Escape from CBGB’s, part 2)
42 Latinos in the Workplace
43 The Falcon and the Hangman
44 The Accident
45 Red Sheep
46 A Tale of Two Weddings
47 Walking in Coquito Wonderland
48 Good-bye Pumpkin
49 Just in Time
50 Brooklyn Is Not America
51 Brother from Another Mother
52 Death and the Puerto Rican
53 Spanish on Sunday (part 6)
54 When the Miracle Doesn’t Come
55 The Return of the Queen
56 Fish Out of Agua
GLOSSARY
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INTRODUCTION
SPANISH ON SUNDAY (part 1)
I was ten years old when my mother told me my great-grandmother was dead. My immediate reaction was relief. There would be no more riding the subway, the bus, and another bus to that island where all the buildings looked like prisons and no more visiting the hospital there that smelled of chicken soup, Clorox, and puke—where even the trees and pigeons looked as if they had been exiled there to die too.
On the day of the funeral, my family gathered at my abuela’s apartment in Washingon Heights to mourn: six sprawling rooms with French doors, crumbling moldings, and a long dark hallway with framed prints of John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and a blond, blue-eyed, long-haired Jesus.
As always when all the family were together, the kitchen table had been moved into the