Dead Astronauts. Jeff VanderMeer
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4th Estate
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers
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London SE1 9GF
This eBook first published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2019
Copyright © 2019 by VanderMeer Creative, Inc.
Cover illustration © Maalavidaa
Cover design © Jo Walker
Lyrics from “Suicide Invoice” copyright © 2002 by Rick Froberg (lyricist) and the Hot Snakes.
Frontispiece and ornament illustrations copyright © 2019 by Mario Tauchi.
The salamander-language diagram was drawn and provided by Jeremy Zerfoss.
Jeff VanderMeer asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins
Source ISBN: 9780008375324
Ebook Edition © December 2019 ISBN: 9780008375348
Version: 2019-11-08
FOR ANN, ALWAYS, ACROSS ALL THE WORLDS
And when I dream
I keep my promises to you
I really do.
—HOT SNAKES
7 “What version is this?”
7 “Zero. It’s version zero.”
7 “Do you trust me?”
7 “I do.”
7 “Do you love me?”
7 “I do.”
7 “Hold on to me, then.”
7 “I will.”
7 “Even when I’m not me.”
7 “I will, Moss.”
0 “And I will always be there.”
Even before I know you.
Even after I’ve known you.
Even then.
CONTENTS
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
1. THE DREAM OF THE BLUE FOX
2. THE THREE
3. BOTCH BEHEMOTH
4. CAN’T REMEMBER
5. LEVIATHAN
6. THE BODY
7. CORPSE
8. THE DARK BIRD
9. CAN’T FORGET
10. THE DEAD ASTRONAUT
0. A SCRAP OF PAPER FOUND IN CHEN’S SUIT
About the Author
Also by Jeff VanderMeer
About the Publisher
1. THE DREAM OF THE BLUE FOX v.1.0
So they ran threaded through the breaches, found the seams. So they ran with a memory of the City without buildings. So they navigated two worlds: the new and the old. When the ancient seabed had been green with reeds and lakes and the low salt-poisoned trees with their thick moss-encrusted limbs upon which they might sleep.
Now they must come to rest on half-collapsed roofs and in the shadows of the great rocks out in the desert. Now they must dream where they could and trust in the lookout who would not sleep. Must trust in how thought danced from mind to mind. How there was nothing but a lightness to that. How they knew each other’s will.
They were the color of sand, which might shift and stall, pass between the paws unnoticed, but would never not be there. Would never become weathered down because it was already what it was meant to become.
One from another in the night they snapped at the winking rescue lights of giant fireflies. Savored the crunch of wing, the collapse of carapace. Let in the coolness of the dark. Played games in the aftermath, searched for hidden water, dug their own shallow wells. Licked at the salt when needed. Mated and had cubs. Sometimes looked up at the stars distant and for a moment contemplated what lay beyond. Even though it meant nothing more to them than the fireflies.
Until Nocturnalia.
Until the blue fox.
For one night there came a flare of blue across the heavens and a nimble quicksilver thought in their heads that was both familiar and strange. They sat at the border between the desert and the City. Hearts pumping fast. Motionless but ready to leap, to run, to bite.
Out across the desert came the Source. At a trot. With a familiar grin of fangs. The blue fox. Larger than them by half. Projecting to them what he wanted to project.
Love. Power. Fate. Destiny. Chance.
Showing them another world. Another way.
But why should they have a leader? Why should they not roam like wild things? For they were wild things. Why should they have a purpose? For they were wild things.
I will tell you why said the blue fox as he approached. I will tell you why