The Paninis of Pompeii. Andy Stanton
on id="uc162ceb6-4434-501b-aa2b-7a7470e6a846">
First published in Great Britain MMXIX
by Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text copyright © MMXIX Andy Stanton
Illustrations copyright © MMXIX Sholto Walker
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted
First e-book edition 2019
ISBN 978 1 4052 9385 3
Ebook ISBN 978 1 40529 486 7
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.
Egmont takes its responsibility to the planet and its inhabitants very seriously. We aim to use papers from well-managed forests run by responsible suppliers.
For Polly, Luke and Sonny; and for Clemmy, the greediest cat in Londinium – AS
For Louis. Ut tibi auxillo esse ridiculam – SW
CONTENTS
CAECILIUS
Now, back in Roman Times there lived a fat merchant by the name of Caecilius Maximus Panini. Caecilius was so fat that he looked a bit like a large football with a face on top, and this is what the name ‘Caecilius’ means: large football with a face on top. Caecilius had a lovely wife called Vesuvius, which means ‘Woman married to a guy who looks like a large football with a face on top’. And he had a little son called Filius, which means ‘Filius’. Filius was ten years old, or as the Romans said, he was X years old. The Romans were always using letters instead of numbers and do you know why? It was because they were very stupid people indeed.
Now, not only was Caecilius a fat merchant – he was a fart merchant too. You see, like many businessmen of that time, Caecilius was in the fart trade. He would buy farts down the market on a Friderificus morning for two buzzle-swuzzles each (buzzle-swuzzles were the names of the coins in those days), and then on Saturanium – yes, the very next day! – he’d return to the market and sell them back to the same people he’d just bought them off – but this time for five buzzle-swuzzles each.
In this way, Caecilius had grown immensely rich. And he now had over thirty thousand buzzle-swuzzles in the bank. Thirty