The Man Diet. Zoe Strimpel
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ZOE STRIMPEL
The Man Diet
Join one woman on her quest
to end bad romance
AVON
An imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 77–85 Fulham Palace Road Hammersmith, London W6 8JB
© Zoe Strimpel 2011
Zoe Strimpel asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
Where necessary, every effort has been made to contact copyright holders for material reproduced within the text. If the copyright holder comes forward, HarperCollins will be pleased to credit them in all future editions and reprints.
Extract from The History of Sexuality: The Will to Knowledge by Michel Foucault and Robert Hurley © 1998, reproduced by kind permission of Penguin Group UK.
Extract from What We Talk About When We Talk About Love by Raymond Carver © 1992, published by Vintage Books. Reprinted by permission of The Random House Group Limited.
Extract from The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer © 2006, reprinted by kind permission of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
Extract from The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr Right by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider © 1997, reprinted by kind permission of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
Extract from Living Dolls by Natasha Walter © 2010, published by Virago Books. Reprinted by permission of Little, Brown Book Group.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
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Source ISBN: 9781847563057
Ebook Edition © NOVEMBER 2011 ISBN: 9781847563064
Version: 2014-07-23
To my old, dear friend Eleanor Halgren.
And, of course, to all the single ladies.
Contents
Rule Number 1 - Refuse to Have No Strings Attached Sex
Rule Number 2 - Cut Down on the Booze
Rule Number 3 - No Facebook Stalking
Rule Number 4 - No Talking About Men
Rule Number 5 - Do Something Lofty
Rule Number 6 - Take a Break from the Games
Rule Number 8 - Take a Break from Internet Dating
Rule Number 9 - Dwell on Your Sense of Self
Rule Number 10 - Know Your Obstacles
Here’s a little story …
I’m with this gorgeous guy, we’re two-thirds of the way through a free bottle of champagne that I’d arranged through PR contacts and I’m calculating the likelihood of a kiss or maybe more when we’re finished. Just as I’m picturing his bedroom, and what a triumph it would be to see it, his iPhone rings. It appears that another girl needs him – an on-off friend ‘with issues’ – and so off he goes. Not, however, before I wrest a smooch off him as he unlocks his motorbike.
But when I get home, instead of feeling jubilant about kissing a text-book hottie that had entered my life as a very professional masseur at a spa in central London, I lie on the bed and feel … down. Rejected. Crap. Tired. Like I’ve sold myself short, but I’m not quite sure why. What had I been hoping to gain? A romp with a man – albeit a muscular one – who I’d had to lure out on a date with the promise of free alcohol?
Here’s another story: My friends Kim and Kate are watching Uruguay play Holland in the World Cup semifinal and end up snogging a couple of happy Dutch fans. However, expecting their snogees to be eagerly in touch afterwards, both Kim and Kate are dismayed when they hear nothing. Kim follows up with an email only to receive a downright rude reply. It would have been comical – if it hadn’t made her feel crap and empty and induce a week-long funk of low self-esteem in which she threw the baby out with the bathwater (job bad; career trajectory stalled; life going nowhere). And for what? A randomer! Meanwhile, Kate’s lad does respond and agrees to meet her for a drink. He isn’t free for a week, during which time Kate gets moderately excited. When they meet, it’s at a grotty pub of his choosing, and afterwards he seems to expect her to accompany him home. She allows him a snog and then – three days later when she still hasn’t heard from him – she sends him a drunken text. He doesn’t reply and she too enters a few days of self-loathing and anger.
We’re