The Savvy Ally. Jeannie Gainsburg
THE SAVVY ALLY
Praise for The Savvy Ally
“This book is long overdue, and I loved reading it! It is a call to action in a positive, optimistic, and engaging way—a masterful blend of information, personal stories, humor, and serious content. This is much more than just an informative book. It is designed to build skills that can be translated into ongoing, meaningful action. If you want to be an effective LBGTQ+ ally, buy this book. It won’t just sit on your shelf. You’ll use it every day!”— Mike Streeter, executive director, Workforce Diversity Network
“I love the compassionate sentiment that is weaved through this book that being an ally doesn’t mean you have to be perfect; it means being able to acknowledge when a mistake is made and then trying your best to be better. If you truly want to be an ally, The Savvy Ally will lead the way through real-life examples, questions that make you go hmmm …, and ‘what if’ scenarios. Thank you, Jeannie Gainsburg, for supporting my ally journey!”— Kimberly Braithwaite, senior human resource manager, Barilla America Inc., and one of Profiles in Diversity Journal’s 2019 Women Worth Watching
“The Savvy Ally provides a successful foray into the confusing and ever-changing world of being an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. The thoughtful definitions, various analogies, and personal examples used to clarify issues are always helpful and often brilliant. Clearly, Gainsburg’s many years of ‘operating in solidarity with’ the LGBTQ+ community have provided her with the necessary insight to create such a useful tool. I am grateful for such a perceptive and kindhearted book!”— Matthew Burns, dean of students, University of Rochester
“The Savvy Ally is a read for everyone. It is one of the best tutorials I’ve read that offers key insights into LGBTQ communities while offering practical guidance and action-oriented tips that will help allies become more culturally competent, respectful, and impactful in their interactions, both personally and in business.”— Joseph L. Searles Jr., corporate diversity relations director, Excellus BlueCross BlueShield
“The Savvy Ally is a book I will recommend again and again for its thoughtful approach to gaining knowledge, skill, and confidence. It’s a much-needed tool in our box!”— Kelly Clark, director, Q Center, Binghamton University
THE SAVVY ALLY
A GUIDE FOR BECOMING A SKILLED LGBTQ+ ADVOCATE
Jeannie Gainsburg
ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD
Lanham • Boulder • New York • London
Published by Rowman & Littlefield
An imprint of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706
6 Tinworth Street, London, SE11 5AL, United Kingdom
Copyright © 2020 by Jeannie Gainsburg
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available
ISBN 9781538139400 (cloth)
ISBN 9781538136775 (paper)
ISBN 9781538136782 (ebook)
To Scott Fearing, for seeing and believing in the educator in me long before I ever did
savvy [sav-ee] adj., experienced, knowledgeable, and well-informed
CONTENTS
Prologue
1 Getting Started
PART I: BECOMING KNOWLEDGEABLE ALLIES
2 The Glossary Is at the Back
3 Coming Out as LGBTQ+
4 Orientations, Identities, Behaviors—Oh My!
PART II: BUILDING SKILLS FOR HAVING RESPECTFUL CONVERSATIONS
5 LGBTQ+ Etiquette
6 Gaydar and Other Problematic Assumptions
7 Good Talk: The Art of Having Useful Conversations
8 Common Bloopers
PART III: TAKING ACTION TO CREATE MORE INCLUSIVE SPACES
9 Straight Pride Parades and Special Snowflakes: Addressing Common Questions
10 Duct Tape Patch-up Jobs and Big Fixes: Two Paths to Travel toward More Inclusive Spaces
11 Taking It to the Streets
PART IV: ALLYING RESPONSIBLY
12 Ally Backlash
13 Sustainability
Glossary
Bibliography
Acknowledgments
About the Author
CoverHalf TitleTitleCopyrightDedicationCONTENTSPrologue1 Getting StartedPART I: BECOMING KNOWLEDGEABLE ALLIES2 The Glossary Is at the Back3 Coming Out as LGBTQ+4 Orientations, Identities, Behaviors—Oh My!PART II: BUILDING SKILLS FOR HAVING RESPECTFUL CONVERSATIONS5 LGBTQ+ Etiquette6 Gaydar and Other Problematic Assumptions7