My Body Is a Book of Rules. Elissa Washuta
MORE PRAISE FOR ELISSA WASHUTA’S
MY BODY IS A BOOK OF RULES
“BODIES ARE US. AND NOT. HOW DO WE FIGURE OUT WHICH IS WHICH? ELISSA WASHUTA TAKES YOU ON A FEARLESS RIDE OF SEX, DRUGS, MOOD DISORDERS, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, DIETING, INTERNET DATING, ETHNIC IDENTITY, AND WHY SHE ISN’T CATHOLIC ANYMORE. MY BODY IS A BOOK OF RULES IS A FUNNY, SCARY, UNPREDICTABLE BOOK; IT READS LIKE THE INSIDE OF YOUR OWN HEAD.”
–SALLIE TISDALE AUTHOR OF TALK DIRTY TO ME
“A GENRE-BENDING ODE TO THE BI-POLAR BRAIN, WASHUTA’S VENOMOUS, LYRICAL CHAPTERS LINK TO FORM A MEMOIR THAT’S DARING, VULNERABLE, CAUSTIC, AND RAW. READING THIS BOOK, YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A STARING CONTEST WITH A WRITER WHO WON’T LOOK AWAY–NOT FROM HER DEVASTATING BETRAYALS OF BODY AND BRAIN, NOR THE CHRONIC SEARCH FOR A CHEMICAL CURE. SHE EXPLORES THE NUANCES OF BLOOD OUANTUM, COSMO, CATECHISM, PSYCHOTHERAPY, PROMISCUITY, FENCING, ANDLAW & ORDER: SVU IN A VOICE THAT EMBRACES ITS SELF-DEPRECATING, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, HUMOROUS, BEDAZZLED CONTRADICTIONS.”
–NICOLE HARDY AUTHOR OF CONFESSIONS OF A LATTER-DAY VIRGIN
MY BODY IS A BOOK OF RULES
ELISSA WASHUTA
My Body Is a Book of Rules
Copyright © 2014 by Elissa Washuta
All Rights Reserved
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner.
Cover design by Nicholas Smith
Layout design by Michelle Olaya-Marquez and Nicholas Smith
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Washuta, Elissa.
My body is a book of rules / Elissa Washuta. —First edition.
pages cm
ISBN 978-1-59709-969-1 (tradepaper : alk. paper)
1. Washuta, Elissa. 2. Manic-depressive illness—Patients—United States—Biography. 3. Indian women—North America--Biography. 4. Indians of North America–Biography. 5. Indians of North America—Ethnic identity. 6. College teachers—United States—Biography. I. Title.
CT275.W316A3 2014
970.004′97—dc23
2014007669
The National Endowment for the Arts, the Los Angeles County Arts Commission, the Los Angeles Department of Cultural Affairs, the Pasadena Arts & Culture Commission and the City of Pasadena Cultural Affairs Division, and Sony Pictures Entertainment partially support Red Hen Press.
First Edition
Published by Red Hen Press
Acknowledgments
An earlier version of “Preliminary Bibliography” appeared in Filter Literary Journal.
An earlier version of “Prescribing Information” appeared in Third Coast.
Thank you to Artist Trust for their generous support of this book in the form of a GAP Award.
I am grateful to the many people who have lent me their time and expertise, along with the many others who have contributed to this book’s development over the past several years.
To the wonderful people of Red Hen Press—thank you for all you have done for this book. Particular thanks go to Kate Gale and Nicelle Davis.
I am tremendously grateful to David Shields for the unceasing encouragement. To Maya Sonenberg, I am forever grateful for her challenges to me to create the best possible book.
The Cowlitz Indian Tribe has been an invaluable source of support—thank you for your commitment to my graduate education, and to my ongoing education as a human being.
To my colleagues in the Department of American Indian Studies at the University of Washington—thank you for your unwavering support of my writing.
Richard Hugo House has supported my development as a writer in more ways than I can name. Thank you to every person who has worked to build that beautiful place, and thank you to everyone who has come into my life because of it—you are so many, and I am so lucky.
My immense appreciation goes to Paullette Gaudet, Sarah Erickson, Chris Boginski, and Simone Sachs Hollander for being my first readers and for helping me build this book. Special thanks to Ann LoGerfo, Roz Ray, and Laura Scott for your insight in helping me wrench the near-final draft into place. Jon Sternfeld, thank you for your faith in this book and your eye for structural magic. Peter Mountford, I am greatly indebted to you for the wisdom you have imparted. Matt Hargis, thank you for providing records that were so important in writing this book, and for being there to keep them.
Brian McGuigan, huge thanks for opening up so many opportunities for me, for having my back, and of course, for being my friend.
Steve Barker, for your appraisal of every draft, for your unflinching encouragement at every turn, and for sticking around even after you heard me read the first chapter—thank you.
To my amazing family—here, there, and everywhere—aunts, uncles, cousins, Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, Nate—your love means everything to me. I am beyond grateful.
For Mom, Dad, and Nate
We are four chambers
Table of Contents
Faster Than Your Heart Can Beat