Chords obscurantism. Volume two. Vasily Varga
comrade Andriani. Who will save the revolution and all of us, outstanding revolutionaries? The one who does this will go down in the history of all times and peoples. For to save the revolution means to save yourself, your family, your children, even from different fathers, because our great people have approved the party’s position on free love, according to which any child, a future warrior, can have only one mother, and at least twenty fathers. Or have you not seen naked and even copulating on the streets of Petrograd not only at night, but also in the daytime?
– Latvian Riflemen, Vladimir Ilyich, will save the revolution from invasion the rest of the exploiters and the heavily armed Germans. The Germans did not occupy my homeland of Latvia, and there, after the February revolution, military discipline came to naught. And when, according to the order to introduce the Institute of political Commissars in the army, the Latvian Riflemen put red bows on their tunics and ceased to obey the officers. Communist cells began to grow by leaps and bounds. If in March there were only 80 Communists among the shooters, by June there were 1,800 of them. You, Vladimir Ilyich, have proclaimed the slogan: peace to the peoples, land to the peasants, factories and factories to the workers. And the elimination of the bourgeoisie as a class, and this they like. Some of them took part in the storming of the Winter Palace. The children dressed up in Royal clothes, and threw bayonets on top, revolutionary bayonets.
“Land in flower pots, comrade, and only in flower pots,” Lenin added, but andrianis was so excited that He did not hear the leader.
– At the second Congress of delegates of Latvian regiments in Riga on may 17, the following resolution was adopted: “our slogan is a call for revolutionary democracy: all power to the Soviets of workers’, soldiers ‘and peasants’ deputies.” What does this mean, comrades?! Well, who the fuck knows? Er, no one knows anything, only Latvian Riflemen know everything. So, this means that fifty thousand disciplined, well-armed Riflemen are on our side, I’m sorry, on your side, Vladimir Ilyich.
A thunder of applause followed. Lenin, standing on one leg, his right leg, because the left leg was numb from sitting in the chair for twenty hours, clapped his hands so that the plaster fell off, that is, applauded.
“Tova … search!” the leader exclaimed, as the Communist silence fell, forever dead. – This is an arch important message from our friend, our colleague, who married, on our instructions, a rich bride and added to the party’s coffers. Comrade Andriani, right now, this minute, this second, go to Riga. You can walk, you can ride a revolutionary armored car. You are already there, Andriani. There! do you understand that? and in my name, in the name of Ilyich, suggest that the Riflemen come to Petrograd to defend the October revolution, which gave the people free love, and, of course, our military headquarters.
– I didn’t top up the cash register, I won’t lie. I’ll repent later. Tea to drink before going, Vladimir Ilyich said Andriani. For three days, there was no moisture in my mouth, except for cognac, canadian whiskey, and Russian gibberish. Everything inside is on fire. There’s a revolution going on.
“Tea later, comrade. We are also all on fire, there’s a chair that’s hot, go and smell it, comrade. It smells, I sometimes shoot at the enemies of the Soviet government. Blow to Riga, comrade Andriani. And as for the ticket office, the party ticket office, you have topped it up, understand? If the chief said so, then it was true. In short, blow and do not return without arrows! If you return without shooters-execution.
“Tebe’s knee is under my ass,” Koba said, clenching his fists.
“Comrade Bronstein! escort Andrianik, before he changes his mind. Andriani, though, and our man, but he’s unreliable. I got married on the instructions of the party, and stuck to my skirt: I didn’t hand over a single gold ruble to the party cash register, and thus turned into our capitalist enemy. Go on, go on! The revolution is in danger. Atone for his guilt before the party and the people!
* * *
Lenin wanted to make a remark to Kobe, he put it too well, as a revolutionary should: “knee under the ass”, and practically did nothing, did not even move his knee, but, remembering how many thousands of gold rubles he had recently delivered to him in Switzerland, refrained. Besides, two revolutionary, Bronstein and Apfelbaum, was withdrawn Andrianina under the arms from the hall. The latter, however, did not resist, kept hinting at a snack, but Apfelbaum put the muzzle in his mouth and said:
“Here, take a bite.”
Two days later, Trotsky began calling Lenin from Riga. The Riflemen wanted to know what they would get for saving the Bolshevik regime. The offer to strip naked and walk naked in Riga, demonstrating free love, is categorically refused.
Why? Lenin was surprised. They don’t have any childbearing devices…nothing to show?
In my opinion, they are afraid that the Riga women will tear off their own bosom, which means: write is lost
– Well, we will instill this proletarian culture in them, and maybe they will like what they see with their own eyes in Petrograd. In the meantime, tell them that as soon as Soviet power is established everywhere, which is very important, Latvia will become independent. This is very important and interesting, comrade Bronstein, “said Lenin, standing at the telephone. “What else can I promise them?” what? Here’s what. Each fighter will receive fifteen gold rubles a day. If they move around, tell them that I will give them Nevsky Prospekt for looting. Let them take their valuables, gold, silver, jewelry. Do you remember, Trotsky, how the barbarians destroyed Rome? You don’t remember, you illiterate Murlo. You tell them this: Petrograd is Rome, and you are barbarians. Lenin allows you to destroy Petrograd, ha … ha … agaa! This is very important.
– So they have already looted Nevsky Prospekt, as soon as Aurora fired, you, Ilyich, at this moment just collapsed, don’t you remember?
Don’t be so mean, Brooch, or I’ll turn you into a tailless APE.
Thank ZUZIK! Wait! soon the sixth regiment…
3
The sixth regiment of the second Latvian division was in Petrograd the next day at night. The Latvian thugs, Lenin’s spiritual children, immediately spread out in the center of the city, tracked down the most decent houses that had not yet been looted, and fixed their all-seeing eye on the empty Tsar’s Palace. There was nothing left to loot.
The commander of the Latvian Riflemen, Joakim Vatsetis, immediately came to Lenin with a request to get permission to Rob Nevsky Prospekt. And it is possible and what other, preferably not yet subjected to the Communist mercy.
Lenin kissed Vatsetis and promised him a higher position.
– Nevsky Prospekt is yours. They say that you have already processed it, but if you think that expropriation is possible in the second round, then…The bourgeoisie lives on both sides of it. Be merciless to everyone-old people, children, and let the girls treat your fighters with strawberries. They say the bourgeois strawberry is delicious. I haven’t tried it yet, but I recommend it to you, Vatsetis. But I have an important request. Select for me five hundred soldiers, the best, the most dedicated to the cause of the revolution for my personal protection. I will feed them and pay each of them twenty gold rubles a day. Lenin’s guard, that is, my guard, must have a commander who will answer for my life with his head before the world revolution.
Latvian thugs numbering several thousand people began to process the Nevsky, but it turned out that on the Nevsky already live gopniki and other proletariat. Apfelbaum howled and rushed to Lenin to ask for his protection. Leni laughed out loud and said:
Tell them that we will soon move to Moscow, and the Soviet government will give them the city for sanitary treatment, let them be patient.
The Latvian Riflemen acted with special cruelty-they took revenge on the Russians for the occupation of their small homeland, but no one spoke about it, it was done on Lenin’s instructions under the slogan