Steven. Crazy on You. Colin Palmer
but she has a preconceived opinion based on what I’ve told her about you, so it IS my fault. Oh Steven, I really am sorry, it wasn’t supposed to turn out like this!”
“Well what was it supposed to turn out like, you know, was I supposed to sit there and be lectured until I became a goody goody or something, what”?
“Let’s not go through it all now. But I want you to know that I do find you attractive, which is confusing to me, and no, I don’t want to sleep with you, but you have to understand where Diane is coming from, and then maybe you’ll understand her behaviour.”
Steven lost all interest in Diane all of a sudden.
“You are attracted to me but you don’t want to do anything about it because you are a lesbian?”
“Steven, I really don’t want to go into that right now, we’ll, we’ll get together again, and this time because you know what it’s about, this time we’ll discuss it properly but I want to tell you about Diane alright”.
Steven reluctantly agreed.
“Next time; can we do it down the back bar of the Anglers Arms, somewhere a bit more public you know?” he grinned at her. “Alright, tell me about Diane”.
They began to walk again side by side, and this time Monica relaxed enough to allow her hips to rub against Steven’s, each time their steps did not coincide.
“She really is beautiful isn’t she”. She began with a statement that regardless of what had transpired, Steven could not argue with. “We met about four years ago, at Zargos’ in Lismore, she had just separated from her husband and was intent on drinking herself into oblivion.”
Steven knew Zargos’.
“So she was a les… you know, gay then?” he asked.
“No, Zargos’ is not a gay club. That’s a fallacy created by its popularity, you know, straights go in and find a few gay people so they instantly label it a gay club, and they tell others that weren’t able to get in and then it snowballs from there. Anyway, Diane, she was by herself near the ladies, just sitting there all by herself, and she was nursing a drink as if she had just crawled out of it, and actually might have, oh Steven, you should have seen the way she looked!”
Monica stopped dead and Steven swiveled around in surprise. They were facing each other and Steven could see that her eyes were brimming with tears, not enough yet to spill over, but tears all the same. He put his arm around her this time, and gave her the sort of hug he hoped she would see as a friendly and sympathetic one, and nothing else.
“Go on, what happened?” he urged.
Monica dropped her head onto his shoulder as they walked, and they went up the stairs into the railway station. Steven steered her to one of the benches, and she began again as they seated themselves. Steven still had his arm draped across her shoulders, and she did not appear uncomfortable with his continued physical contact.
“She was married for twelve months, just over in fact, because she told us about her anniversary. She and her husband, Mick, had been going out since high school and though he drank a bit, she said he hadn’t been physical with her, up until about six months after the wedding. Fancy knowing somebody so well for nearly seven years and then suddenly they change, well I know it couldn’t have happened like that, she is still so so naive in some ways that maybe she just didn’t see the warning signs, you know, the indicators that something was wrong with him?”
She glanced at Steven as she said this and he just nodded at her and then shrugged his shoulders.
“So what did he do that was so bad, how could it have made her so bitter that she acts the way she does now; he hit her right?”
“He more than hit her Steven, but let me tell it in order okay, so that you can understand it properly. What time does the train come?”
“Don’t worry, every 20 minutes until midnight so you’ve plenty of time to get your message through to me”.
Steven was curious, but he thought she was starting to lecture him a bit. He pictured Diane sitting on the lounge room floor again, her dress hitched up and those black panties framing her crotch. Once again he felt his erection looming, but Monica was only sitting back against his shoulder and was oblivious to the forming bulge in his jeans. She began to talk again, and moved her left arm to sit along the top of his right thigh. Steven’s eyes looped skywards as he thought ‘that helps’, but tried to concentrate in what she was saying again.
“…got drunk a bit when they were going out, more so than some of the other kids at school, but not that you would think he had a problem or anything, or so she reckoned. And no one else apparently mentioned it either, so it was just one of those things that nobody recognized. They got married just like everybody thought they would, just as they knew they would. Di’s parents liked Mick, and his really doted on her of course, and everybody assumed it was one of those marriages that was meant to be. But after they left school, Mick got an apprenticeship with his Dad, a plumber I think, and he used to go out with his mates every afternoon for a drink before going home, so sometimes Di would hardly see him all week, and when she did, he’d always had a few, you know, enough to make him outgoing, but not drunk.”
Steven nodded, he had seen it often enough, people thinking they were just drinking socially, but really not able to get through the night unless they had a couple under their belt first. He was not a drinker, not a teetotaler either, he had a drink, one or two with Harry and Marc after work two or three times a month, and he didn’t mind sharing a bottle of wine with dinner.
“Yeah I know, go on” he said quietly.
“Anyway, apart from petty jealousy because of the amount of time he spent with his mates, they never really had a problem with anything, or so she said. They moved in together in his last year of his apprenticeship, got a little flat and she did the girl thing and waited for him to come home every night. And he did come home every night, usually early, which she said surprised her because she expected him like …well, after dark, when he’d had enough with his mates down the pub. But as time went on, he got a bit later, and a bit later, and was coming home a just a little bit tipsier every time. But still everything was okay, they still got on famously, he loved her and they didn’t argue about anything seriously. Money was good because they both worked and they did all the things that a young couple in love would do”.
Monica hesitated and looked around at Steven as she heard the approaching train. Steven looked at his watch and told her once again to “go on”.
“What time is it?”
“Plenty of time” he said” two more trains until midnight”.
She waited for the train to stop, and they both watched as several people got off, some with shopping bags. “Thursday night shopping” Steven thought. The train disappeared into the dark. They were alone again, only the slight traffic noise from the main road, and the odd vehicle in a closer street disturbed the night, and the sound of a too loud TV from the block of flats across from the station. Steven wondered how amazing it was that sounds traveled so crisply in the night.
“Anyway, one night, she must have just said the wrong thing at the wrong time, he might have had a little bit too much and all that, but whatever it is that she said made him all of sudden up and yell at her, calling her all sorts of names, and then he just walked out. He came home pretty late, because she found him asleep the next morning on the couch. He apologised to her and they made up, you know how it goes?” She looked back over her shoulder at him as she asked the question. She went on again straight away when she saw him