The Room with the Tassels. Wells Carolyn
“Our ghosts weren’t a bit real. I did most of ’em myself, jogging the table, when the others didn’t know it!”
Eve’s scarlet lips came together in a narrow line, but the others laughed at Vernie as she babbled on.
“Yes, and we tried the Ouija board. I can make it say anything I want to.”
“Good for you, Kiddie,” cried Braye, “I believe I like your notion of these things better than the ideas of the psychologists. It sounds a lot more fun!”
“And comes nearer the truth,” declared Mr. Bruce. “I’ve looked up these matters and I’ve read all the best and most authoritative books on the subjects. There are many writers more diffuse and circumstantial, but Andrew Lang sums up the whole situation in his able way. He says there are no ghosts, but there are hallucinations. And that explains all.”
“It doesn’t to me,” and Eve’s beryl eyes took on a mystic, faraway look. “I, too, have read a lot of books – ”
“Scientific or psychic?” interrupted Mr. Bruce, acidly.
“Psychical and Theosophic – ”
“Rubbish! The Theosophic bunch have been in the discard for years.”
“That’s what I say,” put in Milly, “the whole business is old-fashioned.”
“It isn’t a question of fashion,” and Gifford Bruce spoke assuredly; “the subject is one that recurs in waves, as many such things do. Why, there have been ghosts and haunted houses in people’s imagination ever since there has been man and a house for him to live in. Some are spoken of in the Bible, the primitive Australians had legions of ghosts, the awful Dyaks record them, and there is scarce a castle or palace of the middle ages that hasn’t its Woman in White, or a Little Gray Lady or the Man in Black. And in an old Egyptian papyrus, there’s an account of a defunct lady who insisted on haunting her husband to his great distaste.”
“My goodness, Uncle Gif, you do know a lot about it!” and Vernie went over and sat on the arm of his chair. “Tell us more. I like this sort of ghost stories better than the fool stunts we did at school.”
“I’m not telling ghost stories, child, I’m only declaring that ghost stories are merely stories, and in no case a true relation of happenings. Lang investigated thousands of cases, and in ten out of every eleven, he states, fraud was proved.”
“Quite so,” said Eve, “and it is that eleventh case that interests the real thinker, the true inquirer.”
“But the eleventh case was simply not proven, it never has been shown that it was really a ghostly visitation.”
“But they do say, Uncle Gifford,” observed Braye, “that the very fact of the frauds being perpetrated proves that there was something to imitate. If no spirit had ever returned to earth and made itself manifest, no one would have thought of pretending that one did.”
“Nonsense and super-nonsense! Why, Rudolph, perpetual motion is not a real thing, but how many times has it been pretended! You don’t remember the Keeley Motor, but that deceived thousands into believing that perpetual motion was at last discovered, but it wasn’t; and that fraud doesn’t prove that perpetual motion, without adequate cause, exists.”
“Here comes Professor Hardwick,” exclaimed Milly, “splendid to have him come just now! Sit down, Professor, and get right into the game. You know all these people, except this angel child, Miss Vernie Reid.”
“I am an angel,” declared Vernie, “but I’m no child! I’ve just graduated with honours and diplomas and lots of presents. Now, I’m out in the great world, and glory, but I love it! But don’t mind me, Professor, go right on and tell us all you know about ghosts and ghostesses.”
“Bless my soul! I don’t know anything about them.”
“Well, do you believe in ghosts?”
“What do you mean by ghosts? How do you define a ghost?”
“Ah, there’s the rub,” said Landon. “These people are all talking at cross purposes. Mr. Bruce means a scarecrow phantom rigged up in sheets, Miss Carnforth means a supernatural being of some sort, but I take a ghost, in the proper sense, to mean the visible soul of some one who has died.”
“What do you mean by visible soul? Disembodied?”
“No,” considered Landon, “I suppose I mean clothed in a body, – that is an apparent body.”
“And raiment?” asked the old Professor.
“Yes, certainly. I never heard of a nude spook!”
“Then your visible soul is concealed by a body of flesh, and clothes, of fabric, or, at least, apparently so. The soul, I take it, would show but low visibility.”
“Good, Hardwick!” cried Mr. Bruce. “Give them a jolt, they need it, – talking such rubbish!”
“Rubbish, Bruce? What do you mean by rubbish?”
“Why, all this ghost gabble – ”
“How do you know it’s rubbish? Have you personally disproved it? Do you mean intentional rubbish? Are they talking deceptively, or are they themselves deceived?”
“By the Lord Harry, Hardwick, I had forgotten you were such a stickler for words! I must choose my diction carefully. Do you, then, believe that so-called supernatural appearances are caused by psychical influences or are hallucinations of the senses? There, I think I’ve put it clearly.”
“Fairly so. But I can’t answer clearly. I never express an opinion on a grave question – ”
Milly’s hand flew up to her mouth to repress an involuntary giggle. “A grave question!” she exploded. “It surely is.”
The Professor looked at her thoughtfully. “It is,” he went on, “and it is no laughing matter. As I was saying, I never state an opinion without being sure of my facts. Now, I’ve had no experience, personally, with supernatural matters, and so am unfit to discuss them. But, I admit I should be very glad to have some such experience. Yes, I certainly should.”
“Really,” and Eve Carnforth looked interested. “I can arrange it for you, Professor Hardwick.”
“No, no, my dear lady, I do not mean that I want to go to a séance, where the so-called medium throws flowers and things out of a cabinet, or toots trumpets and bangs cymbals! No, thank you, I’ve seen such often.”
“What would you choose as an experience?” asked Landon.
“I’d like to go to a house that is reputed haunted, and in circumstances that preclude all possibility of fraud, see the haunting spirits or hear them, for myself.”
“Me, too!” cried Vernie. “Oh, I do think that would be the rippingest fun! If you ever do it, Professor, mayn’t I go with you?”
“I’ll go along,” said Eve. “Wouldn’t that be a splendid proof! To have such a scientific and open-minded man as the Professor, and a few others who are in earnest and anxious to learn. You couldn’t go, Mr. Bruce. You are too sceptical.”
“I’m just the one you need,” he laughed. “A balance wheel to keep you enthusiasts straight. But haunted houses are not to be found on every bush in America. If we were in England now, – or Scotland.”
“They do have some over here,” Landon asserted. “I read of one recently, and I’ve heard of others.”
“Let’s find one,” suggested Eve, “and spend our summer vacation in it! Wouldn’t that be a lark?”
“Oh, do!” exclaimed Vernie. “I’d just love it! May I go, Uncle Gifford? Oh, please let me.”
“Only if I go myself, child. The spooks, – I beg their pardon, phantasms, might carry you off. I’ll have to go along to rescue you.”
“Phantasms don’t carry people off,” said Eve, contemptuously. “And though I’d like