Lauren Weisberger 3-Book Collection: Everyone Worth Knowing, Chasing Harry Winston, Last Night at Chateau Marmont. Lauren Weisberger
and having them cancel altogether, and fell back under the covers.
When the alarm blared static a couple hours later, I felt like I’d spent the night curled up on a hard cement floor. Blessedly, I’d already packed my outfit for the night’s party in a separate bag, so the only real task was to remain standing and fully conscious in the shower.
Figuring if there was ever a time to splurge for a cab it was now, I chased one halfway down my block and dove into it head-first. Not being stuck underground in the signal-free subway also allowed me to check a few of the morning’s websites from my brand-new BlackBerry, a gift from the company’s corporate department so I could ‘familiarize myself with their product.’ I pulled clips of the Shrek 3 premiere, the Grey Goose relaunch, and of course the New York Scoop column featuring Philip, me, and my pantsuit.
Naturally, the cab got stuck in gridlock less than three blocks from my apartment, and naturally I decided – against the cabbie’s advice – to remain in the temperature-controlled vehicle at all costs, regardless of how high the meter ran or how many minutes it took to cover an eighth of a mile. I needed to complete the check-list for the BlackBerry event. With Red Hots and an early-morning cigarette in hand (the cabbie had given me his blessing), I checked my cell phone to ensure that Mrs Carter hadn’t left a message in the four hours since I’d last spoken to her. To my great relief, she hadn’t called, but neither had Penelope, and that was disconcerting. My attempts to explain that it wasn’t what it appeared, that Philip had just shown up and I hadn’t lied to get out of her dinner, had sounded flat and pathetic even to my own ears, and I imagine to Penelope they sounded even less believable. The worst part of it all was that she and Avery had switched their tickets and were flying out tonight. I didn’t understand what the big rush was – especially since Avery wouldn’t be starting school for over a month – but I imagined it had something to do with Avery’s eagerness to embark upon a brand-new West Coast party circuit. That and the fact that Penelope would do anything to avoid spending Thanksgiving with either her or Avery’s parents. Penelope’s mother had dispatched her own domestic staff to collect their boxes and suitcases and ship them ahead, and Avery and Pen were set to fly out of JFK, with their carry-ons and each other. Michael was planning to see them off, but it wasn’t even an option for me.
The only message was from Kelly, a text reminding me to have my checklist filled out and on her desk first thing that morning so we could go over the last-minute stuff together. I unfolded its now-crumpled pages and pulled the pen cap off with my teeth. I stared at them for the few remaining minutes in the cab processing nothing. I’d have plenty of time before she got in, and the most important thing right now was to make sure Jay-Z and his entourage knew about the flight change and got on that plane with absolutely no problems.
A quick scan of the Dirt Alert revealed good news for once. Page Six had upheld their end of the bargain and written about my party in a way that made it sound exclusive, exciting, and really, really cool:
We hear that Jay-Z will be making a surprise appearance at tonight’s party at Bungalow 8 to celebrate the launch of BlackBerry’s redesigned handhelds. While Bette Robinson of Kelly & Company declined to confirm, watchers insist that boyfriend Philip Weston’s friendship with the rapper ensures he’s the mystery guest. In a related tidbit, Mr Weston and friends were spotted at a Saturday-night birthday party canoodling with Brazilian models, the youngest of whom was a mere fourteen years old.
I couldn’t have been happier if they’d provided a web address for ordering the new BlackBerry: everything was exactly as I’d directed, and I knew Kelly would be deliriously excited when she saw it. I patted myself on the back, pleased with this mention, and thought back to one of Elisa’s mini-lessons to me.
‘Remember, there’s a big difference between scoop and favor,’ she’d said, spreading printouts of gossip columns all over the table at work.
I stared at them. ‘What? What do you mean?’
‘Well, look here.’ She pointed to a couple of sentences from an on-set stylist who’d first noticed that Julia Roberts needed to have her costumes let out because, the girl assumed, Julia was newly pregnant. Page Six had been the first to talk to the stylist, who’d been the first to notice this shift. ‘What is that – scoop or favor?’
‘You’re asking me?’
‘Bette, you need to know these things. How else are you going to get our clients the coverage they pay us for?’
‘I don’t know … it’s scoop,’ I said, choosing one of the words at random.
‘Right. Why?’
‘Elisa, I appreciate that there’s something important here, but I don’t know what it is. But if you’d tell me rather than quizzing me, it’d probably save us both a lot of time. …’
She’d rolled her eyes dramatically and said, ‘If you look carefully, there’s a difference between “scoop” and “favor.” Something juicy and revealing and slightly scandalous is “scoop.” A celebrity spotting at a party or in public, or a mention of somewhere they’ve been, is a “favor.” You can’t ask the columnists for all favors without giving them scoop. Information is currency, and the more you have of it, the more favors you get.’
‘So you’re saying that some publicist out there wanted her client’s name mentioned in the column and provided this bit about Julia Roberts in exchange?’ It sounded so sordid, but it certainly made sense.
‘Exactly. The publicist hand-delivered that stylist to Page Six and then made demands for coverage of her own.’
Well, that didn’t seem too hard. Perhaps Page Six might be interested in knowing that quite a few of the city’s most eligible bachelors had been keeping company with certain Brazilian girls who were not just underage, but who were years away from attending an R-rated movie without parental accompaniment. In fact, they had been interested, and when I followed up with the usual Tip Sheet we prepared for all the press – the blast-fax that went out with all the information about the party should anyone want to write about it – a researcher had expressed enthusiasm in possibly mentioning the BlackBerry party. Hmm, that wasn’t hard, now was it? Morally abject and devoid of all integrity? Absolutely. But difficult it was not.
By the time Kelly had descended upon the office at nine, I’d completed the checklist and triple-checked that the plane-change fax had gone through to Jay-Z’s compound and his mother’s compound, as well as to his publicist, agent, manager, and a half-dozen other handlers. I marched into her office at ten after nine with an entire file folder of schedules, contact information, and confirmation numbers and planted myself in the zebra-print loveseat directly underneath the window.
‘Are we all set for tonight, Bette?’ she asked, scrolling rapidly through her inbox while slugging back a liter of Diet Coke. ‘Tell me we’re good.’
‘We’re good,’ I sang, thrusting the Post under her nose. ‘And even better, considering this.’
She scanned the piece hungrily, her smile growing ever larger with each word she read. ‘Ohmigod,’ she murmured, barely swallowing a mouthful of soda. ‘Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. Was this you?’
It was all I could do not to do a little jig right there on the zebra-print shag carpet. ‘It was,’ I said quietly, confidently, although my insides were flipping with excitement.
‘How? They never cover events before they happen.’
‘Let’s just say I listened very carefully to Elisa’s valuable lesson on the concepts of scoop and favor. I think the BlackBerry people will be happy, don’t you?’
‘Fan-fucking-tastic, Bette. This is amazing!’ She began reading it for a third time and picked up the phone. ‘Fax this to Mr Kroner at BlackBerry immediately. Tell him I’ll call him shortly.’ She hung up and looked up at me. ‘Okay, we’re off to a perfect start. Give me an update on where everything stands.’
‘Sure thing. Tip sheets went out ten days ago to all the usual dailies and weeklies.’ I