The Baby Sleep Book: How to help your baby to sleep and have a restful night. Martha Sears
an hour? Your baby’s internal clock may not yet have developed a routine sleepy time, especially if he’s still quite young. Or, this may be because baby’s naptimes are not yet consistent. It may also be because your family’s day-to-day schedule is not predictable.
tired time chart
Write down your baby’s natural tired times over one week. Tired times are not the times when baby actually falls asleep. They are the times of day when you observe tired behaviour, regardless of whether or not you get baby to sleep at that time.
| Naptimes | Nighttimes | |
| Day 1 | _________________________________________________________ | |
| Day 2 | _________________________________________________________ | |
| Day 3 | _________________________________________________________ | |
| Day 4 | _________________________________________________________ | |
| Day 5 | _________________________________________________________ | |
| Day 6 | _________________________________________________________ | |
| Day 7 | _________________________________________________________ |
If five out of seven of these times are all within 30 minutes of each other at naptimes and bedtime, then you have likely found a predictable sleepy time.
Your baby’s predictable Tired Times at this age are:
_____________________ for naps and _____________________ for bedtime.
If your chart is not showing you a predictable evening sleepy time after one week of observation, continue charting for another week. Be sure baby’s naps are on a fairly routine schedule. If you still don’t find a routine evening sleepy time, you may need to focus more on nap scheduling. In that case, read “Naptime Parenting”, chapter 9, now. It takes effort to get baby on a nap schedule. It may be easier to let baby nap whenever he happens to, but in order to get a predictable sleepy time in the evening baby needs to take naps at predictable times as well, most of the time.
Changing your baby’s tired time. If you have determined your baby’s tired time is around 7:30pm, and you want baby to have an early bedtime, then you’re all set. But what if your baby is happily wide awake at 7:30pm, at 8:30pm, even at 9pm? What if your baby doesn’t act tired until 10pm? You can either accept this and help baby fall asleep at his natural time, or you can try to change it. If you want your baby to be in bed earlier in the evening (for whatever reasons), put baby down for a nap earlier in the afternoon. You may enjoy having baby’s company at night, especially if you are away from your baby during the day. In this case, don’t worry about working on an earlier bedtime. What if you would rather have your baby stay up late with you, but baby is always tired by 7:30pm? Again, you can adjust baby’s afternoon naps. We’ll show you how in chapter 9.
To summarize: find your baby’s predictable tired time, schedule your baby’s naps if needed to get a more predictable bedtime, start your bedtime ritual about 30 minutes before tired time, and baby will eventually learn to fall asleep easily and predictably.
to schedule or not to schedule?
A week or two of charting baby’s tired times may show you that your baby’s tired times are more predictable than you thought. Or it may show you that your baby’s naptimes and bedtimes depend a great deal on what else is going on in your household. At this point you may have to make some choices: put yourself on a predictable schedule, so that baby can take predictable naps and go to bed at the same time every night, or continue to “go with the flow” during the day and give up the idea of baby having a set, early bedtime. You may not be able to have it both ways.
step 3: create a safe and comfortable environment conducive to sleep
If baby’s bedroom (or your bedroom) is too light, too dark, too noisy, too quiet, too scary, or too stimulating, your baby may have difficulty going to sleep or staying asleep. Some babies are more sensitive to their sleeping environment than others. What kind of environment is best for your sleeping baby depends on her sleep temperament. For example, some are “subway sleepers”, meaning they can sleep through loud noises as long as the noise is always there. Others need a relatively noiseless environment. Here are some ideas to help you set the stage for your baby to sleep.
Quiet the bedroom. Most babies can block out disturbing noise, so you don’t have to create a noiseless sleeping environment for your baby. Yet, some babies do startle and awaken easily with sudden noises. For noise-sensitive babies, oil the joints and springs of a squeaky cot or the door hinges, put the dog outside before he barks, and shut the windows.
Quiet the house. Quieting the house down at tired time will give your baby the message that it’s time to transition into sleep and also programme her to associate this quiet routine with sleepy time. Lower your voice, close the doors, turn off the phone ringer, slow down your movements, and minimize any other distractions. Turn off the TV and put on some calming music. Let your baby sense that the general mood is changing from one of activity to one of quiet. Don’t bounce or jiggle baby. Remember, he’s already over stimulated.
I made sure he knew the difference between day and night. During the day I did not try to keep a very quiet house. The phone rang, the dog barked. I kept it dark and quiet at night. I would feed him by nightlight, change him by nightlight, and everything would be calm. During the day we would sing at the changing table, at night we wouldn’t sing. Now he understands that when the lights go out it’s time for bed and not playtime.
Darken the bedroom. Help your baby learn to associate darkness with sleep. Don’t turn on any bright lights during the night, as this can trick baby’s internal sleep clock into thinking it’s daytime (and wake time!). You can use a nightlight, or install a dimmer switch on the bedroom lights, so that you can keep the light level low during nighttime nappy changes. If necessary, close the curtains to keep out the morning (or evening) light. Use opaque shades to block out the light. This may get you an extra hour of sleep if you have one of those little early birds who wakes with the first ray of sunlight entering the bedroom.
We used a room-darkening temporary shade, a heavy black-pleated fibre paper shade which quickly sticks to the top of the window as a temporary solution.
Warm the bed. Always make sure baby’s bed (or yours) is warm. Laying baby down onto cold sheets is a sure way to shock baby awake. One creative dad told us he used to lie in bed with baby snuggled on his chest for five minutes before scooting over and laying baby down in the warm spot. Before laying baby into a cold cot or cradle, warm the sheets with a warm towel from the tumble dryer, a hot water bottle, a heating pad, or an electric blanket (any of which you remove before laying baby down, of course, for safety reasons). Use flannel sheets in cold weather.
Lessen physical discomforts. A baby who itches, hurts, or has difficulty breathing is going to wake up. Here are some tonsil-to-toe tips on helping your baby sleep more comfortably:
Clear the nose. Babies need clear nasal passages to breathe. Bedroom inhalant allergies are a common cause of stuffy noses and consequent night waking.
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