The Narcissist Test: How to spot outsized egos ... and the surprising things we can learn from them. Dr Malkin Craig
She drew inspiration from her grand ideas. She’d become a creative leader in her field, rallying supporters even in the political arena. Her dreams pushed her to achieve and rise above an ordinary life but she never used them to make people feel beneath her. If anything, people felt important in her presence, as if they brought value simply by being who they were. Lisa made the quiet woman in the waiting room light up.
That’s a sure sign you’re with someone in the middle of the spectrum—they bring out the best in everyone.
Interestingly, they’re not an especially modest bunch. They don’t need to brag or boast or show off to feel good about themselves, but they’re not bashful about their talents either. Lisa, for example, met her husband at a nightclub and she’d approached him. She slipped up beside him, brushed his shoulder, and after a few minute of flirting, invited him onto the dance floor. “Come on,” she’d said. “I’m a great dancer—promise.”
And she was.
Now you’ve met people along the whole range of the spectrum, from extreme echoists to extreme narcissists. And you can see that narcissism has many faces, both healthy and unhealthy. No doubt at this point you’re wondering: Where do I fall on this spectrum? You may already have some sense just from reading and relating to these stories, but you can get an even better idea by completing the Narcissism Test.
How Narcissistic Are You?
Before you grab your pen and flip to the test—I know you’re itching to—you should know a few things.
First, don’t expect to fly through this test. It’s not like one of those quizzes you’ll find in popular magazines. As you’ve seen, narcissism is far more complicated than most people think, which means that any test worth its salt is bound to require a little work. It’ll be worth the extra effort, however; you’ll learn a lot about yourself by the end. You might even be surprised.
Also, this test is not like others designed by psychologists to measure narcissism. Most surveys start with the assumption that any narcissism is bad. Answer “True” to “I like looking at my body” or “I am assertive,” and your narcissism score begins to grow. Say “True” enough times, and you’ll score high enough to be a “narcissist.” But there’s obviously nothing harmful or destructive about feeling confident about your body or being assertive. And it certainly indicates a lack of healthy narcissism when someone freely admits they’re nothing special.
The big failing in present measures of narcissism is their singular focus on the right—mostly the far right—side of the spectrum. What’s more, no other test captures the deficits in healthy narcissism, on the left side of the scale. To address these shortfalls, I and my colleagues, Dr. Stuart Quirk, professor of psychology at Central Michigan University and doctoral candidate Shannon Martin, created a new assessment tool called the Narcissism Spectrum Scale (NSS). To ensure its accuracy, we’ve collected data from several hundred people, young and old, male and female, rich and poor, from all around the world, for a far more representative sampling than the typical college study.
The original NSS consists of 39 questions. To make it easier for people to take on their own, we’ve narrowed it down to 30 items and simplified the scoring system, which you’ll find at the end of the quiz. We call this abbreviated version of the NSS the Narcissism Test. (For more information on the development of the NSS and the preliminary research supporting it, see the references at the end of the book.)
Go ahead now. Get out your pen and get to it. If you’re feeling especially brave, and want to get a really clear idea of where you fall on the spectrum, give the measure to a close friend or your partner and ask them to rate you. Other people often see us far more clearly than we see ourselves.
The Narcissism Test
On a scale of 1 to 5, indicate how much you agree or disagree with each item, using the guide below.
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| strongly disagree | disagree | neutral | agree | strongly agree |
| 1. | Compliments make me uncomfortable. | ______ |
| 2. | It irritates me when someone gets ahead by being the star. | ______ |
| 3. | I’ve missed out on opportunities because I was uncomfortable nominating myself (e.g., for promotion or leadership position). | ______ |
| 4. | Sometimes I won’t state my ideas because someone else’s will be better. | ______ |
| 5. | I often defer to other people’s opinions. | ______ |
| 6. | I worry about how other people think and feel about me. | ______ |
| 7. | I’m not sure what I want or need in relationships. | ______ |
| 8. | When people ask me my preferences, I’m often at a loss. | ______ |
| 9. | I blame myself whenever things go badly in a relationship. | ______ |
| 10. | I apologize a lot. | ______ |
| 11. | I’m self-confident, but caring. | ______ |
| 12. | I press on, even when tasks are challenging. | ______ |
| 13. | I take more pride in my achievements when I have to work hard for them. | ______ |
| 14. | I can recognize my limitations without feeling bad about myself. | ______ |
| 15. | I’m happy to acknowledge my faults if it improves a situation. | ______ |
| 16. | I believe both partners contribute to the success or failure of a relationship. | ______ |
| 17. | I can rein myself in when people tell me I’m getting a big head. | ______ |
| 18. | I like to dream big but not at the expense of my relationships. | ______ |
| 19. | I’ll take giving over receiving any day. | ______ |
| 20. | Despite setbacks, I believe in myself. | ______ |
| 21. |
*I |