The Playful Parent: 7 ways to happier, calmer, more creative days with your under-fives. Julia Deering

The Playful Parent: 7 ways to happier, calmer, more creative days with your under-fives

it definitely requires supervision. It’s a fun game that gets them burning off lots of energy. Your little monkeys simply jump up and down on the bed singing the following song (other actions optional):

Monkeys on the bed

Three little monkeys jumping on the bed

One fell off and bumped his head.

Mummy called the doctor, and the doctor said,

‘No more monkeys jumping on the bed.’

Two little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and bumped his head.

Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said,

‘No more monkeys jumping on the bed.’

One little monkey jumping on the bed,

He fell off and bumped his head.

Mummy called the doctor and the doctor said,

‘No more monkeys jumping on the bed.’

‘Wonderful wafting.’ When my two children were very small, they loved nothing better than to lie on the floor while we wafted the clean, fresh-smelling sheets and covers over them again and again – and occasionally we covered them up, pretending they’d disappeared. It made them giggle and wriggle so much. If you try this, but need a way out of the game (it is rather open-ended), you might try starting to waft a pillowcase at a doll or teddy. Your child may well take the bait and join in, then take over, that game instead – leaving you free to complete the job in hand.

Cleaning the bathroom

This job often requires the use of cleaning products, so it’s not ideal for young children to get too involved, even if you are using green products. Instead:

Try cleaning the bathroom during bath-time when your child is playing in the tub. You can get a lot done then, whilst being able to supervise the children; you’ll just need to clean the bath at another time. You do, of course, need to keep a close eye on your little one in the bath, so this activity is only suitable for your nearly-five-year-old or an older child.

Make it dolls’ bath-time by setting up a washing-up bowl or a baby bath of warm bubbly water on the floor in the bathroom (with an old towel underneath to prevent slips) to occupy your little one while you clean around them.

Tidy-up time, putting rubbish in the bin and picking up after themselves

I’ve put these chores together because they are all about learning how to live tidily – it’s a journey we all have to make and, let’s face it, often we never get far. When children are babies and toddlers, most parents accept that their little wonders are going to make a mess; they’re going to play with things, sort things, unpack things, throw things, leave things, forget things. They leave a kind of trail-of-play in their wake, or in other words – they make a big ol’ mess. It’s up to us to reset the rooms and put things away after bedtime so it’s ready for the next day of mess-making (otherwise known as playful exploration and discovery). Do bear in mind that it’s definitely worthwhile doing this daily reset; children’s interest soon wanes in anything left out for too long, and it’s amazing how old toys and playthings suddenly become the bee’s knees again after a day or two of absence.

Toddlers can begin their learning to live tidily journey by helping with this end-of-day tidy-up. It really helps if you have lots of tubs, boxes and baskets for their toys and playthings – and shelves at a suitable height. However, don’t expect them to clear away with any great efficiency to begin with. It’s merely the idea and concept of a ‘time to tidy up’ that we’re trying to introduce here.

Have some sort of signal to indicate the start of tidy-up time – perhaps a little bell, shaker or tambourine. Give your child the opportunity to announce it every once in a while, as they’ll love the feeling of power it gives them. The sound signal can be used during tidy-up time too, should anyone forget and start playing again – and that includes the grown ups.

Give your child a choice as to what they’d like to tidy away; for example, cars or books.

‘Gimme five.’ This game works well for preschoolers as they only have to put away five things – but they all have to be different things, so not five Lego bricks, for example.

‘Colour code.’ This is a fun and challenging game for preschoolers who are confident with their colours. Everyone chooses a colour and only puts things away that have that colour somewhere on it. The challenge for slightly older children is that at the end of the game they must guess what colour code the others chose.

Race against each other, the clock, or the length of a song. Most children cannot resist a challenge like this – just decide the race conditions and they’ll be off in a tidying frenzy. Remember that small items scattered all over the floor, such as toy cars and Duplo blocks, can be swept into one place with a broom or dustpan brush before being put away. This can make a job much less daunting, and cut down on the back-and-forth-with-one-item scenario.

Keep spirits high with a favourite song. We’ve enjoyed a hearty rendition of ‘Whistle While You Work’ many a tidy-up time.

Tidy up in the manner of various animals or book characters. Say ‘freeze’ every minute or so and choose a new style of tidying. Ask your children for suggestions – you’ll be amazed at what they’ll come up with and how well they’ll embody the spirit of the craziest things. We’ve tidied up like cupcakes before now. Yes . . . cupcakes.

You’ve probably seen the basketball-hoop bin that is loved by teenagers the world over. Who can resist the challenge of a slam-dunk, even if it is only rubbish being thrown away? Young children won’t have the skills for this kind of precision challenge, of course, but preschoolers love a race against the clock – to the bin and back – to dispose of a handful of rubbish.

For children, picking up after themselves is perhaps the hardest of the tidying-up lessons to learn. It’s the one from which parents often feel their children are deliberately shirking as they approach or reach school age. It’s the moment when the trail of discarded coats, shoes, bags, tissues, jumpers on return from nursery or a day out, or the mess of a day’s worth of play suddenly smacks of our children having no respect for us, their things or their home – although it is important to remember that children are not deliberately trying to make us feel this way. Pave the way for their future independence with playful tidying techniques when they’re little; it’ll definitely help them learn to look after their things themselves as they grow up.

We can get a lot of tips from Montessori educational practice here – which promotes independence and responsibility for one’s self – by ensuring our learning and living spaces reflect this philosophy. We can easily replicate some of their practical ideas in our homes without too much fuss, or expense:

Have hooks for coats

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