The Unexpected Baby. Diana Hamilton
out for herself and sat on the edge, not opposite him, but further down the table so he would have to turn to look at her.
He didn’t, and she was as glad as she could be under these impossibly hateful circumstances. She didn’t want to see the frozen indifference of his eyes, not when they had once looked at her with so much love.
She shuddered suddenly, convulsively, knotting her hands together in her lap. Briefly, her eyes flicked round the farmhouse kitchen—heavy copper pans gleaming against the white-painted stone walls, the great stone chimney breast, gleaming terracotta floor tiles and carved, polished wood dressers, the pots of scented geraniums on the broad windowsills.
She’d always loved this room, and this last week, in Pilar’s absence, she and Jed had made their meals here together. Chopping vegetables and fresh herbs from the garden, washing fruit. Talking, laughing together, sometimes catching each other’s eyes, understanding the need, the love, reaching for each other, the meal in the making forgotten...
It didn’t seem possible that all the love and laughter, that magical feeling of closeness had gone. She wouldn’t let herself even think that it would never come back. Yet his attitude had erected a mountain between them. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to climb it.
She had to try, though. It was imperative. She flicked her tongue over her dry lips as she struggled to find the words. The right words. Words that would help him understand. But he said impatiently, ‘As you seem to have been struck dumb, I’ll do the talking.’ He swallowed what was left of his whisky and swung round on his chair, looking at her now from narrowed, unforgiving eyes. ‘I’ve thought about our distasteful situation and reached certain non-negotiable decisions. We stay married,’ he stated grimly, then reached for the bottle and poured another shot into his glass.
Something tore at Elena’s heart, a savage little pain. ‘You considered divorce?’ After what they’d been to each other she could hardly believe it. Would he hate himself for even thinking about it once he knew the truth? Would she be able to forget how he’d considered cutting her right out of his life without giving her the opportunity to explain herself?
‘Naturally. What else did you expect?’ He wasn’t looking at her now, but staring at his glass as he twisted it around between his fingers, watching the way the liquid caught the light and fractured it. ‘Under the circumstances it was the first thing I thought of. However, for two reasons, I decided against it. The first Catherine, my mother. She likes you.’ The very tone of his voice told her he couldn’t now imagine why. ‘Our marriage was the only thing that lightened her grief over Sam’s death. A divorce, so soon, would be rather more than she could be expected to bear.
‘The second reason for keeping the marriage going is my brother’s unborn child. I don’t blame Sam for any of this. He died without knowing he’d made you pregnant. So, for my brother’s sake, we stay married. I intend to take a full part in his child’s upbringing. Call it a duty of care. Sam tended to mock me for being the dutiful son, but perhaps, wherever he is, he’ll be thankful for it now.’
For a moment his eyes were drenched with the pain of grief, and Elena’s heart bled for him. She wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him, to tell him that everything could be all right if he’d let it be, if he’d listen to her and try to understand.
She was halfway out of her seat, on her way to him, but the quelling darkness of his expression put her back again, his voice cutting as he told her, ‘We will put up a good front, for the sake of my mother and the child when he or she arrives. But, that apart, I want as little as possible to do with you. We’ll return to the UK in three weeks’ time, as arranged, and I’ll get out of your hair as much as I can—visit the overseas branches. You can make the excuse that travelling doesn’t agree with pregnancy.’
He pushed away from the table and rinsed his glass out at the deep stone sink, upturning it on the drainer, and Elena choked back a sob.
Every word he’d uttered had strengthened the wall between them, making it impossible to breach. Whatever she said to him now, whether he believed her or not, those words—the brutal ending of their marriage in all but name—would never be forgotten.
‘And if I don’t agree to this—this farce!’ She struggled to her feet, but had to support herself against the table. ‘I want you to listen to my point of view. I want you to hear what really happened. I have that right.’
‘You have no rights!’ He flung down the towel he’d been drying his hands on, the first sign of a real emotion directed at her since his return showing through. ‘And you brought this “farce” on yourself. You married me while knowing you could be pregnant by my brother,’ he castigated harshly. ‘Why? Because you didn’t fancy single parenthood? One brother was lost to you so you might as well settle on the other? He might not live such a dangerously fascinating, swashbuckling type of life, might not be as pretty to look at, but he’d do? Marry me and hope fantastic sex would make me overlook everything else.’
He turned away, as if he couldn’t bear to look at her. ‘Well, you were wrong. It didn’t. You’re good in bed, I’ll give you that. But not that good. In any case, I can get fantastic sex whenever I want. No strings, no messy secrets, no regrets.’
That hurt. If he’d ripped her heart out of her body with his bare hands it couldn’t have hurt more.
Pain took her by the throat and shook her, making speech impossible. But she had, somehow, to make him understand, to begin the process of partially exonerating herself, for both their sakes. Distrust of her was turning him into a man she didn’t know.
‘When we first met, I truly believed...’ Her voice, difficult to push past the constriction in her throat, faltered and died as she remembered the way he’d approached her after the graveside ceremony. ‘You must be Elena Keele; Sam often spoke about you. Don’t go away.’ He had touched her black-gloved hand briefly, and warmth had momentarily displaced the aching sorrow in his eyes. ‘Come back to the house. I think your company would be a comfort to my mother. And to me. Through Sam, I already feel I know you.’
And so it had begun.
Aware that he was watching her struggle for words, the straight line of his mouth twisted to one side, sardonically interested in her fumbling attempts to excuse the inexcusable, she went scarlet and told him roughly, ‘I thought I wasn’t pregnant. I started a period on the morning of Sam’s funeral.’ It had been sketchy, and of very short duration, but she’d put that down to the shock of learning of her friend’s death, the rush to get a flight to London, hire a car and drive out to his home village to pay her last respects.
The next had been equally slight, but it hadn’t crossed her mind that she might be carrying Sam’s child. She’d been back in Spain for two weeks then, regretfully leaving Jed in England. They’d spent two weeks getting to know each other, learning to accept the unbelievable fact of love at first sight. But she’d had a deadline to meet, and if they were to be married as soon as possible—which they had both known almost from that first moment of meeting—Jed had a lot of business ends to tie up, too.
The love, the magic, the precious feeling of being born for each other couldn’t have disappeared so completely. Surely it couldn’t?
She approached him with more determination. He had to hear her out. ‘Jed—Sam and I—’
‘Spare me!’ he cut across her, his eyes derisive. ‘I don’t want to hear the sordid details.’ He headed for the door, his footsteps ringing firmly on the tiled floor. ‘And I’m sure you’ll understand if I don’t believe a word you say. Why keep a testing kit around if you were so certain your affair with my brother hadn’t left you with any music to face? Why use it at all?’
‘Because I’d begun to feel nauseous in the morning! I believed pregnancy was out of the question, but did the test just to make doubly sure!’ she shot back at him, her temper rising. How could a man who’d said he’d love her till the day he died refuse to properly hear her side of the story, refuse point-blank to believe a word she said?
Her shoulders