About the Baby. Tracy Wolff
now.” Every trip Kara went on she came back a little more tired, a little more distant, and each time it took longer for her to bounce back. She left a piece of herself in every country she went to, a piece of her heart—a piece of her very soul. The things she had managed to hang on to were joined together so precariously that he often wondered how long it would take before she fell apart completely. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a loose embrace. Part of him expected her to fight—Kara was fiercely independent and she’d already shared more of herself tonight than she usually did—but she didn’t. Instead, she wrapped an arm around his waist, laid her head on his chest.
As she did, his body stirred to life, despite the circumstances. Cursing silently, he did his best to ignore
his very inappropriate arousal in the hopes that it would go away if he didn’t acknowledge it. After all, the last thing she needed was to feel like her best friend was putting the moves on her when she was at her most vulnerable.
Of course, it didn’t work—it never did with her—which just pissed Lucas off more. But Kara was everything he admired in a woman—strong, self-sufficient, involved, intelligent, kind. He might know intellectually that being stuck in the friend zone was exactly where he wanted to be, but sometimes convincing his body of that fact was a lot more difficult.
Embarrassed and more than a little annoyed at his lack of control, he started to pull away from her.
Kara made a low, humming sound of protest and her arm tightened around him.
“Not yet,” she said, tilting her head up to look at him with eyes made luminous by tears and the dim lights of the park. “Don’t pull away yet.”
* * *
KARACOULDFEEL LUCAS’S discomfort. His body had stiffened against hers and she knew she should let him go. She’d already cried on him, yelled at him and dumped her problems in his lap. Now she was clinging to him like he was the only thing standing between her and insanity. No wonder he was uncomfortable.
Needy much?
Still, she wasn’t quite ready to let go of him. Being near Lucas, absorbing his warmth and feeling the steady beat of his heart comforted her in a way nothing had in a very long time. Squeezing even closer, she closed her eyes and tried to block out the fears and memories clamoring inside of her.
She focused on Lucas instead, on the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.
On the warm, delicious scent of him, like a pine forest on a bright, sunny day.
On the feel of his muscled body against her, so big and capable and comforting.
When she was with him, she felt safe in a way she never really had before. She’d been on her own a long time—her mother had died the summer before she met Lucas—and she was more than capable of taking care of herself. Still, there was something nice about knowing, really knowing, that Lucas had her back.
Oh, she’d never ask him for anything important—the last thing she wanted was to be a burden to him—but still, it was nice to know that someone was there if she needed something. Nice to know that he was there.
Turning her head a little, she glanced up at Lucas through her lashes. She didn’t know what she expected—maybe that he’d be looking out at the park, maybe that he’d be deep in thought. Maybe that he’d just be relaxing and enjoying sitting here as much as she was. But when she looked up, she found him staring at her, his jaw clenched tight and his eyes glittering like sapphires.
Her breath hitched in her throat. Sitting there, he looked dark, sexy and just a little bit rumpled. Basically like his normal, gorgeous self, and while that had never fazed her before, something about this particular moment had her heart kicking into high gear. Her stomach fluttered even as her mouth went desert dry. Trying to get some moisture back, she rubbed her lips together. Licked them. And felt Lucas stiffen against her even as a deep, rumbling growl started in his chest.
“Kara.” It was a warning, and a blatant one at that, and she felt it sizzle along every nerve ending she had. Drowning now in the scent and sight and sound of him, she reached up and rested her hand against his cut-glass jaw. Stroked her thumb over his dark stubble and lost herself in the pools of his eyes.
“Kara.” He whispered her name this time, his hand coming up to cup her own face. “What are you doing?”
She shook her head. She had no idea what she was doing and she didn’t want to know. For this moment, this instant, she just wanted to feel something other than the despair that was her constant companion. Wrapping her other hand around the back of his neck, she pulled him slowly, inexorably closer.
He didn’t fight her, didn’t shrug her off, didn’t make a joke like she half expected him to. Like she’d been half afraid he would. Instead, he watched her, eyes wide-open as they closed the distance between their mouths one small centimeter at a time.
And then, when her whole body was trembling in anticipation, he kissed her.
CHAPTER FOUR
IFSOMEONEHADASKEDHER if she’d ever planned on kissing Lucas, she would have told them—quite truthfully—that she never had. If that same person had asked her if she’d ever thought about kissing him, she would have lied like a rug and told them the same thing. But nothing she had ever thought about in passing, nothing she had ever imagined, could have prepared her for the jolt that went through her as Lucas brushed her lips with his.
It was a quick kiss, just a passing press of his lips to hers, really, but as he pulled away, he looked as stunned as she felt. Then she was reaching for him, her fingers tangling in the silky, cool strands of his hair as she pulled his face to hers. If they were going to do this, then she wanted a real kiss from Lucas. Even more, she wanted the real Lucas, not the one he usually showed to the women he dated.
It only took a moment before his lips opened against hers, moving in a gentle sucking motion that had her trembling and her hands grasping at his shoulders for support. He laughed a little and wrapped an arm around her waist to ground her. But as his tongue darted out to lick gently at the corners of her mouth, she acknowledged that it was going to take a lot more than a supporting arm to keep her steady.
But, as she pressed her body against his, she realized she wasn’t the only one trembling. Lucas was as shaky as she was. Somehow, that realization made what they were doing so much more real—and so much more delicious.
He sucked her lower lip between his teeth and her mouth opened on a gasp. It was the invitation he was waiting for, his tongue darting inside her mouth to tease and tangle with her own.
There was a strange ringing in her ears, one she tried to ignore as she lost herself in Lucas. It was probably her subconscious’s way of telling her that this whole thing was a really bad idea. But she ignored it—or at least, she tried to. All of this was overwhelming enough without facing the consequences of her actions at the same moment she was acting. Besides, for these few minutes when she was in Lucas’s arms, she wanted to forget what she was doing out here. Forget all the pain and ugliness and devastation she’d seen, and all that was to come because she wasn’t strong enough to find a way past the bureaucracy.
She wanted to lose herself in Lucas, to immerse herself in the desire whipping between them. He must have felt the same way, because his arms tightened around her, pulling her up to her knees so that their bodies were flush against each other, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. It was his turn to delve his hands into her hair, to pull on her curls until her head tilted at an angle satisfactory to him.
It alternately felt like they had been kissing for seconds, then hours. Long, luxurious kisses that made her lips burn and her head whirl. It felt good to kneel here, lost in the desire pumping through her body. She’d felt dead inside for so long, had deliberately tamped down on her emotions so that she wouldn’t feel the pain of what she did on a daily basis. It felt amazing to say to hell with it. To toss her inhibitions and worries and anguish to the wind and just feel.
But Lucas broke the kisses off abruptly,