The Forest Ranger's Husband. Leigh Bale
it if she did.” Davie spoke with confidence, as if he knew everything about his mom and her life. A typical kid who believed life for everyone began the day they were born.
“I gave it to her years ago, before you were born. She may have gotten rid of it.”
No chance. Against her better judgment, Andie had kept every single thing Matt had left behind when he took off for Oregon. In spite of Sue’s disapproval, she’d lugged his stuff with her when she’d transferred to Enlo eight weeks earlier. She didn’t know why. Maybe it was time to get rid of it, but somehow she felt as if throwing his things out would also throw away the good memories they’d once shared. And her memories were all she had left. That and Davie.
“Yeah, Mom throws a lot of things out. Aunt Sue calls her the Neat Freak. Can I have my Rocketman back now?” Davie asked.
“Sure.” Matt handed the toy back before rustling Davie’s dark hair.
Hair the same color as Matt’s.
Matt’s gaze sought and locked with Andie’s. She froze, her mind filled with a jumble of words she longed to say, but couldn’t make sense of right now.
Sue stepped toward Davie. “Um, maybe I’ll take Davie to the park now. I’ll see you at home in a couple of hours.”
Sue took hold of the boy’s hand and tugged him over to the door.
“Bye, Mommy. Love you.” The boy puckered his lips and blew Andie a kiss, his small face aglow with a smile. The corners of his eyes crinkled just like Matt’s did when he smiled.
Andie’s heart melted and she returned the gesture. Even with Matt sitting in her office, she couldn’t refuse her sweet little son.
Sue tossed one last glare at Matt and made a screwy expression with her eyes before she took the children outside and closed the door. Silence followed, so loud it almost broke Andie’s ear drums.
“So you’re a mom.” Matt sat there, his hands resting on his thighs, waiting for her reply.
She lifted her head and met his steady gaze. “Yes I am.”
Chapter Two
“How old is Davie?”
Matt’s question shook Andie to the core. He sat in her office, his gaze burning into hers until she felt as though he could see inside her very soul. As though she’d done something wrong and had to bear the guilt, not the other way around.
“He’ll turn six in April.” She’d give anything if Davie were just one year younger. But that would mean she’d been unfaithful to her husband during his absence. And she hadn’t. Not once in all these long, lonely years.
Matt shifted his left leg. “He’s mine, isn’t he?”
Finally Andie looked away and swallowed. She’d planned to tell Matt about their son eventually. Preferably when Davie graduated from high school and she could be certain Matt wouldn’t try to take him from her. The way she saw it, Matt would either disregard Davie completely, the way he’d ignored her, or he would demand visitation rights. Worst-case scenario, Matt would fight her for custody. Andie didn’t want a battle over their son. Not when Davie could become collateral damage.
“He has my eyes and my middle name.” Matt’s voice held a sharp edge she couldn’t deny. His eyes looked guarded and hopeful.
No, surely she imagined that.
Andie exhaled a sharp breath. “How would you know? You never had the consideration to ask how I was for over five years.”
“Is he mine?” His voice raised an octave, betraying his urgency.
“Yes. Davie is your son.” She bit out the words, unwilling to lie. She hadn’t been as active in her faith as she would have liked, but she knew the Lord wouldn’t approve of lies.
“Imagine my surprise.” Hurt and anger filled his eyes.
It served him right.
“Why didn’t you tell me I have a son? Why didn’t you call?” he asked.
And that’s when Andie lost it. “The phone lines work both ways, Matt. When did you ever call me? I haven’t heard from you in years. Not once.”
“I called you twice, Andie. Three weeks after I left. I got your voicemail at home each time. When you didn’t return my calls, I figured you didn’t want to hear from me again.”
“I never got the messages.” Was he lying? Who did he think he was? He had no right to judge her. Not anymore. He’d lost that right when he’d walked out on her.
She faced him, her hands clenched as she tried to control her trembly voice. “The day we had our terrible fight, I went to the doctor, then came home expecting to share the joy of my news with my husband. But he was gone. He was too much of a coward to tell me goodbye in person. Instead, he left me a note. A single scrap of paper.”
The blood drained from his face, and he sat very still for several heartbeats. “You’re right, Andie. I should have called you again. Many times, until I got hold of you.”
His admission made her angrier. She wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt her. To let him have it for all the pain and doubt he’d put her through.
“But didn’t I deserve to know I had a son? Why didn’t you at least tell me about Davie?” he asked again.
“Because I didn’t want you thinking I was using a baby to get you back.” The truth tasted bitter in her mouth. She remembered the joy of feeling life growing inside her and giving birth to their child. Alone. The last thing she wanted was a husband who stayed with her out of obligation. She wanted a marriage of love or nothing at all.
“I wish I’d known. I wish I’d been here,” he said.
Something hardened inside of Andie. Something cold and unforgiving. They couldn’t go back in time. They couldn’t change the past. Even with Davie, she had no intention of letting Matt back into her life. “Well, you weren’t.”
“So after I left you decided to start going by your maiden name.” Matt’s stomach clenched when he realized he had a child. He felt dazed and sick by the news. And yet strangely elated, too.
Davie was almost six years old. Matt couldn’t fathom all the years he’d missed with his child. His son. Years when he could have enjoyed being a father and husband. Years of happiness with his family. He’d missed it all because of his foolish pride.
“With you gone, it made things easier.” Andie didn’t smile, staring at him with disdain and—
Dread.
A deep aching loss filled Matt when he thought of all he’d missed. If she’d only told him he had a son, things might have been different. He might have—
What?
Would he have quit the job he loved and come running home? He couldn’t blame Andie for being upset. It was his fault. He wished more than anything that she’d told him about their baby, but he’d been the one to leave. He could have called her at work, written a letter or email, or even come home to see her during the holidays. But he hadn’t.
He held up a hand, hoping to reassure her. Wishing the fear and hatred would leave her eyes. “I won’t try to take him from you, Andie. But I do want to be a part of his life. I’d like to get to know my son.”
Her spine stiffened. “I … I’m not sure how that will work. I’d need to talk to him first. To tell him you’ve returned.”
“You mean you didn’t tell him I was dead or something like that?”
“Of course not. Maybe that would have hurt him less, but it wasn’t the truth. I knew he’d find out eventually that you were alive.”
So his son believed his father had abandoned