A Mother For His Child. Lilian Darcy
his mouth was tight.
‘I first felt that something wasn’t right when he was just a few months old,’ he replied. He prodded his own chocolate mousse cake with a fork, then looked up. His eyes seemed darker than ever. ‘It was summer. Practically every building in Arizona is air-conditioned, but whenever we were outside with him in the dry, intense heat for anything more than a few minutes, he’d just wilt, and we could see he was overheating. He had a couple of summer colds and he’d get feverish and his temperature just wouldn’t go down.’
‘Scary,’ she murmured.
‘He was hospitalised once, with suspected meningitis. Fortunately, that was a false alarm. I wanted to start some tests, but Alison…well…didn’t think that was needed.’
‘Of course, it’s natural that she didn’t want to think anything could be wrong,’ Maggie suggested.
Will smiled distantly, but said nothing.
‘That’s a normal reaction, isn’t it?’ she pressed.
She watched the way he chose his next words. ‘She found it hard to accept anything that threatened to deflect her from her goals. Alison has become very involved in her career.’
‘Couldn’t you say that of all of us? Medicine is a very demanding profession.’
‘She went back to work two weeks after Daniel’s birth and couldn’t manage to maintain breastfeeding.’ He paused. ‘She…uh…thought that my concern about Daniel’s health was just an attempt to make her feel guilty, a way of saying that she’d failed.’
Yes, it was true that Alison had never reacted well to criticism or defeat, Maggie thought cautiously. Reluctantly, too. Her instinct had always been to defend her friend against Will. It was a hard habit to break, even when his criticism was apparently reluctant as well. He was picking through his words as if they were unmapped mines in an open field.
‘She wouldn’t agree to tests,’ he went on, ‘even after another three days in hospital, again with what turned out to be a common, non-specific infant fever that just wouldn’t break.’
‘What about the issue of his teeth? Didn’t that set off alarm bells?’
‘No, it didn’t, because plenty of children cut their first teeth later than normal. It wasn’t until we had the provisional diagnosis of the genetic defect, two months later, that his jaw was X-rayed and we found there was nothing waiting to come through.’
‘How did Alison take the diagnosis?’
Again, there was a hesitation. ‘At first, she felt that it didn’t have to change anything.’
‘Which in many ways is true,’ Maggie suggested. ‘In terms of intelligence, he’s completely normal, right? And physically, it’s mainly about keeping cool. He has no teeth, no hair—’
‘He has false teeth, which will be changed several times as he grows. He has a thin blond fuzz, which he’ll probably keep. I think it’s cute.’ Will’s eyes were bright. ‘And I’m thankful for the current wide range of acceptable hairstyles and hope we never return to a more conservative era.’
‘And he has no sweat glands. That’s—’
‘Yes, the real concern. A reason…a major reason…I wasn’t prepared to stay in Phoenix.’
‘Alison didn’t want to leave.’
‘Alison…had her own solutions,’ he answered carefully. ‘I won’t bore you with the details of our debate.’
A smile flickered briefly on his face like a dodgy light bulb and then went out. Maggie felt an absurd need to touch him, even though it wasn’t likely he’d gain much from her action.
Will closed his eyes briefly, then continued, ‘Anyway, as soon as the divorce and custody issues were finalised, I was free to start looking around.’
‘I can see why Alison didn’t want to move. She’d just been given a position at the hospital which she’d wanted for a long time,’ Maggie said, defending her friend again.
She remembered the eager—and, now that she thought about it, self-important—detail contained in the annual Christmas card, written when Daniel must have been about eight months old. There had been nothing about his genetic abnormality.
‘This is a major, major milestone for me, Maggie!’ Alison had written. ‘I can’t describe to you how much it means!’ She had then gone on to describe it anyway, spelling out points which Maggie, as a doctor herself, understood very well already.
And OK, yes, that was annoying, but it was a small thing. Maggie reminded herself that there were two sides to every story.
‘I was pretty well situated myself,’ Will drawled. ‘We were about to buy a house. Alison wanted to continue with the purchase. I thought we needed to take some time, plot some scenarios.’
‘Such as?’
‘What would it be like for a kid growing up in a climate where he could barely go outside for most of the year? No team sports, no picnics. Even playing in the sandbox at preschool would be risky. Alison suggested that it was about my ego. I’d been a star athlete at school, and so I didn’t want to end up with a weedy kid who couldn’t do sports.’
He laughed, and continued, ‘She’s right about that! But it’s not ego. It’s about not wanting him to miss out, not wanting this thing to define his personality and narrow his choices from day one. And it’s about finding a lifestyle where there’s space to consider his needs and give him some time. Hell, Alison only saw him awake at weekends!’
The last words came out as a growl and he closed his eyes again, as if already deeply regretting that he’d said as much as he had. Maggie’s heart gave a sympathetic lurch. She’d never heard him speak in this way before, and he obviously hated it.
‘Why here, though, Will?’ she asked carefully. ‘Sure, the pace of life is slower than in the city, and the climate is cooler than out west. He can spend more time outdoors. But sport is still a risk, isn’t it?’
‘Not all sports. When I saw that string of houses spread out along the lakefront, with your practice right there, it was something straight from my wish-list, just the way it had sounded from your description. I wanted something in the mountains and close to water. He can go swimming and boating, winter sports, maybe, and I’ll have time to teach him about his limitations myself instead of farming that task out to a trained nurse, as Alison talked about.’
‘Did she contest custody?’
He shook his head, muttered something that Maggie didn’t catch and she heard an old thought whisper traitorously inside her head.
Yeah, Will, even when the going gets tough, the chips basically fall your way.
Alison probably wouldn’t have dared to contest custody when it would have involved pitting herself against the juggernaut of Will Braggett’s habitual success.
Unfair to think of it that way. Maggie had no doubt that he’d been through a lot. It was written in the new lines on his face, the new sensitivity to his mouth, the new depth to his black eyes. He and Alison had been together for a long time, a golden, successful couple envied by all who’d known them. Some relationships, like some plants, only flourished in full sun. Their break-up must have felt like a failure, and Daniel’s rare genetic problem must have been frightening.
The waiter appeared with more coffee, but Maggie shook her head.
‘I should get back,’ she said.
She looked at Will, forced herself to see beyond the foolish, draining desire that had been with her so long it seemed like a part of her bones. He was a doctor and she was certain that he was right in his arrogant claim that he was a very good one.
Out of the blue, remembered images came to her mind. She thought back on the serious, absorbed way Will used