The Rancher's Blessed Event. Stella Bagwell
out such a thing to her.
“Ten years can do a lot to a person’s looks.”
He picked up the steaming cup of coffee and savored the smell as he brought it to his lips. After a careful sip, he said, “I didn’t say you looked older. I said you looked tired.”
The eggs done, she carried the skillet over to the table, ladled three onto his plate and one on her own.
As she took a seat opposite him, her eyes briefly met his and she wondered, if like her, he was remembering back to the breakfasts they shared ten years ago.
Emily hoped not. She hoped that once he’d left the Diamond D, he’d totally forgotten the unabashed way she’d loved him, the nights she’d spent cradled in his strong arms. Just thinking of the pleasure he’d given her sent a shaft of guilty heat rushing through her.
“I’m really okay,” she told him.
Emily didn’t look okay. She looked like hell, but Cooper kept the opinion to himself. He could see her nerves were raw and he hadn’t come here to the Diamond D to cause her more pain. In all honesty, Cooper wasn’t exactly sure why he’d come back.
The funeral had already taken place. He couldn’t help his brother now and he didn’t necessarily want to assert himself into Emily’s life just because she was his sister-in-law and newly widowed. Nor did he figure she would appreciate him sticking his nose into any unfinished legal business she might have to deal with over the accident. So had he really come here just to see her one more time? He didn’t want to answer that.
Shaking tabasco over his eggs, he asked, “How is everyone else around here? Do your parents still live on the Flying H?”
Relieved that he wasn’t going to bring up Kenneth’s accident right off, she relaxed a little. “Yes. My brother Ethan has graduated college and is living back home now.”
His brows lifted and for the first time since she’d found him in the barn last night there was a genuine smile on his face. “Little Ethan is out of college? Why, he was just a little ornery horned toad that last time I saw him.”
A vague tilt to her lips, she passed him a biscuit then took one for herself. “Well, he’s all grown up now.”
“What about your aunts?”
“Justine and Chloe are fine. So are their children. Uncle Roy is still the sheriff. He thought about retiring last year, but the people in this county love him too much to let him go. And my cousin Charlie loves being a Texas Ranger. Uncle Wyatt is still in the oil business and of course Daddy will always be a rancher.”
And what about you, he wanted to ask her. Had she been happy as Kenneth’s wife? Really happy? Cooper knew he had no right to put those questions to her. But for the past ten years he’d thought of little else.
“What about your other cousins? Are they still living around here?”
“The twins are all grown up now. Anna is touring as a concert pianist and Adam is working in the gas business with his dad. Their younger sister, Ivy, is at NMU studying to be a doctor. And you remember Charlie’s younger sister, Caroline. She lives in Santa Fe and works as a jewelry designer. None of them have married yet. I guess they’ve all been too busy building their careers.”
Wishing he could think about anything but her, he turned his attention to the food on his plate. It tasted good and he was hungry. But the eggs and bacon did little to fill up the empty hole in him.
“Emily,” he began after a few minutes of silence. “Last night...about Kenneth...if I sounded—”
When it appeared he couldn’t find the words to go on, Emily did it for him. “Out of line?”
He didn’t necessarily think his question had been out of line. Still, he did feel a little badly about being so rough on her. But hell, she’d met him with the barrel of a .30.30 pointed straight at his gut. The greeting hadn’t exactly put him in a warm mood.
“I don’t think wanting to know how my brother died was asking too much. Even if you didn’t want to talk about it.”
She reached for her coffee, but suddenly the smell of it sickened her. She put the cup down and reached for the orange juice she’d poured earlier.
“You think I’m to blame because Kenneth is dead,” she said flatly. “You think I should have stopped him somehow.”
He grimaced. “I didn’t—”
“You said it. You know you did. So don’t be bashful. Tell me what you’re really thinking now. God knows I can take it.”
That weariness was back in her voice and Cooper realized he hated it. More than anything he wanted to see the warm, vibrant Emily he used to know.
“Okay. I know that if there was one person on this earth who could have prevented Kenneth from getting on that horse, it was you.”
The smile she gave him was so utterly sad he could hardly bear to look at her. “At one time, that might have been true. But not now.”
“Why was Kenneth drinking?”
She couldn’t finish the food on her plate. In fact, she was going to be lucky if she didn’t lose what little she’d managed to get down.
“Why does anyone drink?” she countered. “He was unhappy with me, the ranch, life in general.”
Cooper didn’t want to believe what she was saying. Kenneth had never been a down person. It had always taken so little to make him happy. He couldn’t imagine his brother changing so drastically.
Seeing the doubt and confusion on his face, Emily said, “I wasn’t having an affair, if that’s what you’re thinking. And as far as I know, Kenneth wasn’t cheating on me. He was—well, he’d changed the last few years. I don’t know what he wanted and apparently whatever it was, I couldn’t give it to him.” She lifted her eyes to his. “So maybe you are right. Maybe I did cause his death.”
“Oh hell, Emily. That’s not what I needed to hear you say.”
Her brows inched slowly upward. “Then what do you want to hear from me?”
Suddenly he couldn’t face her. Too many bittersweet memories of the times he and Emily had spent together were pouring in over the pain he was already feeling for Kenneth.
With a little groan he got up from the table and walked over to a door that led out to the backyard. Through the windowpanes, he could see a part of the barn and the adjoining corrals. It was a pitiful sight. Much worse than he’d suspected it to be last night. Boards were rotting, fences were sagging, sheets of tin were loose and flopping in the cold wind. It was a far cry from the ranch he remembered as his home.
“I guess I just wanted to hear that my brother was happy. But it seems as though you can’t even give me that much.”
She looked down at her plate and blinked. It was the closest she’d come to crying since she’d first set eyes on him last night. Cooper had once been everything to her. When she thought of the word happy, she always thought of him.
“Your world might be a beautiful place, Cooper. But here on the Diamond D things have been... tough.”
Folding his arms across his chest, he turned to face her. “Then why are you here?”
The sight of him standing there so strong and handsome and alive infuriated her. He’d turned his back on her, broke her heart and virtually shunned his brother. He had no right to show his face here again, much less interrogate her!
Shoving her chair back from the table she marched over to within inches of him. “Because it’s my home, Cooper. But that’s something you wouldn’t understand. You don’t want a home. And from the looks of you, I doubt you’ll ever have one!”
A sneer twisted his lean face. “If this is what you call a home, I’m damn glad I don’t!”