My Perfect Stranger: A hilarious love story by the bestselling author of One Day in December. Kat French
hold the fort for just a little longer?’ Honey’s fingers lingered hopefully on the third glass.
‘Umm. It’s not that … we’ve kind of made plans for the evening.’
Both Honey and Tash turned to look at Nell; there had been a strange inflection to her words.
‘It’s not your anniversary, is it?’ Honey was sure it was too early in the year for that.
‘And it’s not your birthday …’ Tash added, raising her eyebrows at Nell. ‘What’s going on, Nellie?’
Pink spots appeared in Nell’s cheeks and she shrugged lightly. ‘Nothing really,’ she murmured. ‘We just fancied a bit of an early night.’ She glanced down at her shiny shoes and then back up again with wide, almost innocent eyes.
‘An early night?’ Tash said slowly. ‘As in you and Simon have already made plans to get down and dirty tonight? Simon’s just gone up in my estimation.’
Honey sloshed wine into a glass and thrust it into Nell’s hands, sensing from Nell’s coyness that there was something juicier to this story. ‘A very quick one,’ she muttered, pouring wine into the other glasses and handing one to Nell.
‘What gives, Nell?’ Tash wheedled as they all perched around the table with their glasses in their hands. Nell sat tight-lipped and looked slowly from Honey to Tash and then back again, and after a moment she reached for her big leather satchel and flipped it open. Honey strongly suspected that they were about to see a positive pregnancy test. Nell had gone all glowy and excitable. She was very, very wrong. Nell didn’t pull a pregnancy test from her bag. She pulled out a metallic vibrator instead. Both Tash and Honey gasped out loud at the unexpectedness of the item in Nell’s perfectly french-manicured hand.
‘He gave me this before he went to work this morning!’ Nell squeaked, breathless and bright eyed. ‘Straight after his organic muesli!’
Honey started to laugh and put her hand over her mouth.
‘I told him a couple of days ago about that store we went into the other day, you know, the sex shop? Well, we’d had a couple of drinks, and I might have given him the idea that … anyway.’ She waved the vibrator around. ‘This. This is the reason I have to get home.’ She looked like someone about to throw themselves off a bungee platform, terrified and elated all at once. She placed the vibrator down and took a huge swig of wine in the style of a parched person.
‘Go Simon,’ Tash murmured. ‘You do know what to do with this thing, right?’
Nell shot Tash a look. ‘I think we can work it out.’
‘I wonder what else he bought from the store? Brace yourself, Nell,’ Honey grinned.
Nell’s eyes opened wide. ‘I hadn’t thought of that.’
‘Maybe you should have bought those pretty purple beads after all,’ Tash laughed at Nell’s screwed-up nose.
Nell shook her head and then reached into her huge bag again, this time pulling out a fancy paper bag. ‘I nipped into town at lunchtime and got these. Thought I might, you know, be a bit more daring, seeing as how Simon has too.’
She reached into the bag and withdrew a boned demi-cup bra, ethereal wisps of black French lace stitched around the edge with pale pink ribbon. Matching briefs, barely there and black, followed the bra from the bag, along with a suspender belt and seamed stockings.
‘Are they crotchless?’ Tash asked, gesturing towards the briefs with her wine glass and earning herself a frown from Nell.
‘No they are not!’
Honey touched the expensive lace, knowing that despite the presence of a crotch, the underwear was still quite a departure for Nell. ‘They’re gorgeous,’ she said. ‘Simon is going to think all of his birthdays have come at once when he sees you in this lot.’
‘You think so?’ Nell said, exposing the vulnerability beneath her excitement.
‘Er, hello?’ Tash said. ‘He’ll be like a schoolboy who found his dad’s dirty mag!’
‘I very much doubt Simon’s dad ever bought a dirty mag,’ Nell said.
‘Having met his parents at your wedding, I think you’re probably right there,’ Tash laughed. ‘It’s a miracle they ever had a child at all. I can imagine it now. “Sylvia! On your back in the bedroom at ninteen hundred hours precisely for intercourse!”’
Tash threw a wink and a sharp military salute at Nell, who shook her head in gentle rebuke.
‘They’re an established army family, Tash, they can’t help being straight-laced. They’re really very nice when you get to know them.’
Given his upbringing, Simon could hardly be blamed for his safety first default setting, and the idea of him wandering around the store looking at vibrators had made Nell brave enough to buy underwear she’d never usually contemplate.
‘I really should go,’ she said, tucking the lace back into its bag along with the vibrator.
‘You really should,’ Honey smiled.
‘The on switch is on the base,’ Tash said, tapping the side of her nose. ‘Just so you know.’
Nell rolled her eyes and got to her feet. ‘Jealousy is a terrible thing, Tash,’ she laughed, leaning down to kiss both of her friends on the cheek. ‘Adios, amigos.’
‘You know you have to give us a progress report next time you see us, yes?’ Tash said.
‘Not a chance,’ Nell grinned, swinging her bag over her shoulder and skipping out of the door.
Honey left her flat just before eight o’clock on Friday evening, lingering for a second outside her door to look at Hal’s closed one. Each day she’d picked up something for him, food or the occasional bottle of whisky, each thing a legitimate reason to tap on his door. He hadn’t progressed beyond opening the door for a couple of minutes at the end of their conversation to take in whatever she had for him. He’d grouched at her yesterday about treating him like her pet project, all because she’d refused to bring any more alcohol so soon. She’d shot back that he really ought to think about being more polite seeing as she was only being neighbourly, and that if he’d rather she butt out then she wouldn’t bother again. He’d muttered sweary things and closed the door in her face, leaving her standing in the hallway still holding the shopping she’d bought him in her hand. ‘I’ll eat these my bloody self then!’ she’d yelled at him, and he’d yelled, ‘I just hope they don’t need cooking!’ back as she’d stomped across the hallway.
Hal really was an angry man a lot of the time, but it was the every now and then that he wasn’t angry that kept her coming back to his door. She was willing to bet he hadn’t left the house at all since his arrival a week or so back, and she was almost as certain that no one had been to visit him. Why was that? How had he wound up here, arriving out of nowhere looking like he was hiding away from the world? There was something about Hal that didn’t quite add up, and Honey was intrigued enough to want to know more. Intrigued, and drawn to him in a way that had nothing to do with a desire to help out a neighbour in need and everything to do with the way clothes clung to his body, the rich, easy depth of his voice and the warmth of his fingers when they brushed over hers. He was borderline rude ninety per cent of the time, but the other ten per cent was worth waiting for.
The carpet in The Cock Inn felt decidedly sticky underfoot as Honey stood at the bar twenty minutes later. She was a little early, and so far anyone resembling a synthesiser player called Deano had yet to materialise. Alone and trying to look nonchalant in the way only someone desperately hoping their date turns up can, Honey ordered a large glass of wine and perched herself on a stool, barfly-style. She was halfway down the slightly-too-warm chardonnay when the door opened and a guy came in on his own, his eyes slowly scanning the place and coming to rest on Honey. If she were to be picky then his shirt was slightly too Hawaiian and his hair far too blond for