When there is no sense in names. Sergey Strelyaev
directions.
Since early years to death you live only in the bans, some ridiculous rules, a framework which do not facilitate, and complicate existence. But believe me, your structure of society – not dogma, happens differently. People force… to study at once, not to from year to year what would like, and to what someone decided to teach you to. To someone whom you do not even know, more visible what to teach you to and what is not necessary to. Then work for pennies. It is very favorable, to earn millions from someone’s work not to live in the framework erected for the majority. Your great rulers of the destiny as louses on a body – are eaten off will not burst yet, but will drag away up to this point not one soul for themselves in an abyss. Therefore you dream of an old age, of death, difficultly to realize all senselessness of such existence. If there is a miracle, light at the end of a tunnel is seen, with enthusiasm you start working, plan, endow everything, but when reaches paperwork, underwater rocks which often break the ship of a dream begin and you sink because of shortage of the signature, money for a bribe and other trifle without which it is perfectly possible to do. You justify youselves, the pier in a different way is impossible, or shout, show us as well as we will make. Really do not look for compromises, you do not want to see – already showed, as well as more than once. When to happen to see – the following excuse: we are not able. And so indefinitely. But trust, so will not be always. People to regain consciousness from a dream. Time of terrible revaluation of values and life will come in general. The handful of people cannot own the planet, and especially minds of millions are not subject to them. There will be an hour, and all people in a flash will understand the importance. In a flash the poor and the rich, slaves and misters, defect and crimes will disappear. Awareness of unity of the Universe will be excluded by murders and theft. It is silly to steal from himself.
– Ania, – its voice became tender as singing of birds around, – I need to tell something to you.
In his eyes and so everything was told, but the girl more than ever wanted to be mistaken.
“So should not be, – heart went on, – I waited for it all life”.
– It is time for me to depart, – sounded as a thunder.
Konstantin spoke for a long time, but she did not hear him any more. She felt sorry for herself, it is a pity for the destiny which deceived her again, having left alone with pain. Released hope and, without having allowed to enjoy, took away back.
– You do not take offense, I will tell still something. In the world you are doomed, to be unfortunate. Your purity here – defect. Good people at you are necessary to nobody, they are derelicts. There is, of course, a choice: or to turn into the zombie, having merged with the others, or to battle alone against what is not fated to be overcome. In any case, you will not be able, the system you will break. And at the same time someone has to begin to fight, to offer voluntarily the life in the benefit, to become the black sheep. To doom itself to deprivations and offenses, such is a fate of martyrs. But anyway, the choice always remains for you.
– When to you to leave? – she tried to hide melancholy, his words now did not concern Ania at all. Tomorrow without it was already always on the mind. Day, as well as thousands of others similar one on another as uterine twins. In them there is neither joy, nor happiness only contemptible loneliness pulling down.
– Already soon.
– Let’s walk last time.
It readily rose from a bench and held up it the hand.
Went slowly. Did not talk about anything and what was to speak to them now about – two such close and such far. When parting for ever any words sound silly and it is not necessary, only muffling the feelings aggravated to a limit, obscuring heart reason. So, without noticing that, came to an end of the park. Greens smoothly passed into city policlinic. This new building with the shining glasses and a brilliant roof not absolutely was in harmony with surrounding lindens and chestnuts.
– I need to come, – she nodded on policlinic, – will wait?
– I will wait, – it is somehow lost the guy answered and it was discharged in a shadow of trees.
Actually, urgency in a visit to the doctor was not. Just Ania needed to take breath, to stay alone, and that is a little more and she would burst out crying.
Wind rushed into the corridor which became permeated with the smell of drugs and human sufferings, mechanically curtailed for a corner and came to be near a door with the green plate. “The office No. 10 Yurov Andrey Aleksandrovich is a family doctor” – it appeared on her.
People it was decent. Having asked edge, the girl took seat on a rigid stool and began to consider a ceiling. She did not want to come to light, she delayed parting and did not know how to make it. In the head various options of a delay of an inevitable event fought. But everything was not that. The turn of patients disturbed by something brought out of a stupor.
– Here all with a temperature and, nevertheless, do not jump the line. Wait as all!
The patients who approached after all did not wish to wait. On their communication it was clear – the father and the son. Yes they were also similar. Both are small, chubby. Solidly dressed. Only the father unlike the son, had a small high temple on the head. The guy possessed a stately blond head of hear. Constantly exchanging words with someone by mobile phones, with the important, dismissed gait serially departed from an office on several steps. However, it did not complicate to listen, at desire, what it there is a speech about.
– No, in hospital. Now we stint and we will arrive… What? Already all gathered, we will be soon. Cover.
– Stas, – called up the son closer when that hung up too, – turn big… Well anything.
Dialed number and it was shortly thrown with someone a couple of phrases. At once from an office the voice of the doctor was distributed,
– Fabrikin, following comes. – Having rested eyes against a floor people were silent.
With a type of the winner, in a rush of superiority and fastidiousness to people around, the youth came into the opened door but, being proud, forgot to cover it for himself.
– Generally, the sick-list I to you wrote out. Let at me will stay though it and is not necessary. In ten days you will come you will take away… I will set all seals…
Ania still unnoticed left the building, as well as entered it. It was far in a midday and corridors long ago became empty. Its own steps softly and in a disgusting way were distributed somewhere in a nape.
– Everywhere it occurs. Really indeed did not notice it. And others do not want to see. It is easier to close eyes and to consider that all and has to be. Everywhere small rage, lies, cruelty and other defects, being summarized, lead to general suffering.
Konstantin was not anywhere. On a trunk of a linden under which it melted the white sheet of paper loomed. Ania the shivering hands broke it from a hairpin and brought to the person. The large tears which are painfully burning cheeks laid eyes, preventing to read. Brushed away them a hand. Through a white veil lines began to appear.
– Forgive, I am not able to say goodbye. It is so easier for you. As if you did not persuade, I have no right to remain. I love you very much. Your Konstantin.
More Ania did not constrain tears. Loudly sobbing on anybody, without paying attention, went back on the park.
– Your Konstantin, – she infinitely repeated, and tears with a new force broke from long eyelashes.
In the sky something rumbled.
– I will not give up, I will not turn. I will fight. Whether you hear me, – she cried that was urine, having raised the head to the darkening heaven.
Watered a rain. Began to smell ozone.
Vega
Always