The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (Unabridged). Anne Bronte
you contradict them, Rose, whenever you can.’
‘But they don’t speak openly to me about such things: it is only by hints and innuendoes, and by what I hear others say, that I knew what they think.’
‘Well, then, I won’t go to-day, as it’s getting latish. But oh, deuce take their cursed, envenomed tongues!’ I muttered, in the bitterness of my soul.
And just at that moment the vicar entered the room: we had been too much absorbed in our conversation to observe his knock. After his customary cheerful and fatherly greeting of Rose, who was rather a favourite with the old gentleman, he turned somewhat sternly to me: —
‘Well, sir!’ said he, ‘you’re quite a stranger. It is — let — me — see,’ he continued, slowly, as he deposited his ponderous bulk in the armchair that Rose officiously brought towards him; ‘it is just — six-weeks — by my reckoning, since you darkened — my — door!’ He spoke it with emphasis, and struck his stick on the floor.
‘Is it, sir?’ said I.
‘Ay! It is so!’ He added an affirmatory nod, and continued to gaze upon me with a kind of irate solemnity, holding his substantial stick between his knees, with his hands clasped upon its head.
‘I have been busy,’ I said, for an apology was evidently demanded.
‘Busy!’ repeated he, derisively.
‘Yes, you know I’ve been getting in my hay; and now the harvest is beginning.’
‘Humph!’
Just then my mother came in, and created a diversion in my favour by her loquacious and animated welcome of the reverend guest. She regretted deeply that he had not come a little earlier, in time for tea, but offered to have some immediately prepared, if he would do her the favour to partake of it.
‘Not any for me, I thank you,’ replied he; ‘I shall be at home in a few minutes.’
‘Oh, but do stay and take a little! it will be ready in five minutes.’
But he rejected the offer with a majestic wave of the hand.
‘I’ll tell you what I’ll take, Mrs. Markham,’ said he: ‘I’ll take a glass of your excellent ale.’
‘With pleasure!’ cried my mother, proceeding with alacrity to pull the bell and order the favoured beverage.
‘I thought,’ continued he, ‘I’d just look in upon you as I passed, and taste your home-brewed ale. I’ve been to call on Mrs. Graham.’
‘Have you, indeed?’
He nodded gravely, and added with awful emphasis — ‘I thought it incumbent upon me to do so.’
‘Really!’ ejaculated my mother.
‘Why so, Mr. Millward?’ asked I.
He looked at me with some severity, and turning again to my mother, repeated, — ‘I thought it incumbent upon me!’ and struck his stick on the floor again. My mother sat opposite, an awe-struck but admiring auditor.
‘“Mrs. Graham,” said I,’ he continued, shaking his head as he spoke, ‘“these are terrible reports!” “What, sir?” says she, affecting to be ignorant of my meaning. “It is my — duty — as — your pastor,” said I, “to tell you both everything that I myself see reprehensible in your conduct, and all I have reason to suspect, and what others tell me concerning you.” — So I told her!’
‘You did, sir?’ cried I, starting from my seat and striking my fist on the table. He merely glanced towards me, and continued — addressing his hostess: —
‘It was a painful duty, Mrs. Markham — but I told her!’
‘And how did she take it?’ asked my mother.
‘Hardened, I fear — hardened!’ he replied, with a despondent shake of the head; ‘and, at the same time, there was a strong display of unchastened, misdirected passions. She turned white in the face, and drew her breath through her teeth in a savage sort of way; — but she offered no extenuation or defence; and with a kind of shameless calmness — shocking indeed to witness in one so young — as good as told me that my remonstrance was unavailing, and my pastoral advice quite thrown away upon her — nay, that my very presence was displeasing while I spoke such things. And I withdrew at length, too plainly seeing that nothing could be done — and sadly grieved to find her case so hopeless. But I am fully determined, Mrs. Markham, that my daughters — shall — not — consort with her. Do you adopt the same resolution with regard to yours! — As for your sons — as for you, young man,’ he continued, sternly turning to me —
‘As for me, sir,’ I began, but checked by some impediment in my utterance, and finding that my whole frame trembled with fury, I said no more, but took the wiser part of snatching up my hat and bolting from the room, slamming the door behind me, with a bang that shook the house to its foundations, and made my mother scream, and gave a momentary relief to my excited feelings.
The next minute saw me hurrying with rapid strides in the direction of Wildfell Hall — to what intent or purpose I could scarcely tell, but I must be moving somewhere, and no other goal would do — I must see her too, and speak to her — that was certain; but what to say, or how to act, I had no definite idea. Such stormy thoughts — so many different resolutions crowded in upon me, that my mind was little better than a chaos of conflicting passions.
CHAPTER XII
In little more than twenty minutes the journey was accomplished. I paused at the gate to wipe my streaming forehead, and recover my breath and some degree of composure. Already the rapid walking had somewhat mitigated my excitement; and with a firm and steady tread I paced the garden-walk. In passing the inhabited wing of the building, I caught a sight of Mrs. Graham, through the open window, slowly pacing up and down her lonely room.
She seemed agitated and even dismayed at my arrival, as if she thought I too was coming to accuse her. I had entered her presence intending to condole with her upon the wickedness of the world, and help her to abuse the vicar and his vile informants, but now I felt positively ashamed to mention the subject, and determined not to refer to it, unless she led the way.
‘I am come at an unseasonable hour,’ said I, assuming a cheerfulness I did not feel, in order to reassure her; ‘but I won’t stay many minutes.’
She smiled upon me, faintly it is true, but most kindly — I had almost said thankfully, as her apprehensions were removed.
‘How dismal you are, Helen! Why have you no fire?’ I said, looking round on the gloomy apartment.
‘It is summer yet,’ she replied.
‘But we always have a fire in the evenings, if we can bear it; and you especially require one in this cold house and dreary room.’
‘You should have come a little sooner, and I would have had one lighted for you: but it is not worth while now — you won’t stay many minutes, you say, and Arthur is gone to bed.’
‘But I have a fancy for a fire, nevertheless. Will you order one, if I ring?’
‘Why, Gilbert, you don’t look cold!’ said she, smilingly regarding my face, which no doubt seemed warm enough.
‘No,’ replied I, ‘but I want to see you comfortable before I go.’
‘Me comfortable!’ repeated she, with a bitter laugh, as if there were something amusingly absurd in the idea. ‘It suits me better as it is,’ she added, in a tone of mournful resignation.
But determined to have my own way, I pulled the bell.
‘There now, Helen!’ I said, as the approaching steps of Rachel