Mothering While Black. Dawn Marie Dow
These decisions to pri-oritize racially and economically diverse schools and neighborhoods over those that are predominately white and have more resources challenge assumptions about the push-and-pull factors that influence middle-class African American families’ decision-making regarding schools and neighborhoods.
Karlyn, a single working mother of a son and daughter, described the time-consuming process through which she picked her son’s current school, which both of her children now attend. She said,
Most of the schools in San Francisco that have great test scores are 50 percent white, 50 percent Asian—probably more Asian now—and 1 percent black, 1 percent Latino. So, I did a lot of research before I chose this school. Their school is maybe 30 percent white, 30 percent Asian, 10 percent black, 9 percent Latino. So, you know, instead of like never seeing another black kid in their school, they will probably have at least another one in their classroom. . . . But, you know, they don’t see any black teachers there.
To find the school that would work best for her son, Karlyn did a careful study of public schools, weighing academic ratings; the size of the racial achievement gap between white and African American students; and the racial diversity of the student body, teachers, and school administrators. Ultimately, she did not get everything on her wish list but felt that the school her son attended was the best choice among the existing options. As Karlyn’s account reveals, parents’ endeavors often required them to engage in hours of invisible labor and then make compromises in each category.
Relative to lower-income African American mothers, these mothers likely had more school options from which to choose for their children and could make choices that weighed racial diversity against school performance. Despite often having the option to send their children to private schools or move to neighborhoods with high-achieving public schools, these mothers’ accounts reveal the constraints they faced when looking for racially diverse and welcoming educational and residential spaces for themselves and their children.
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
Racial comfort was also a factor when selecting extracurricular activities. For example, after Maya discovered that her son’s soccer league was all white and Asian American, with no other African American boys, she stopped taking him to practice. She noted that she was concerned about both her son’s and her own level of ease in interacting with, for the most part, only white children and parents. The mothers in this research described having access to a range of elite extracurricular activities that were often predominately white and included little other diversity. Although mothers responded in different ways to the racial composition of their children’s activities, they all noted that it influenced their parenting decisions.
Some mothers responded proactively to what they thought could be racially isolating environments for their children. For example, to ensure their children were not the only African American boys and girls in activities, some mothers coordinated with other African American mothers in their networks to enroll their children in the same class or activity group. Mary, married and the mother of a son and daughter, emphasized how the members of her mothers’ group very intentionally protected their daughters from feeling racially insecure:
We want them to feel good about being black. That is one of the key things we all talk about. You know, we work very hard to make sure . . . that they are in activities together so when they go to ballet they are not the only brown girl in the ballet class.
Similarly, to ensure her daughter was not the only African American girl in an elite dance school, Sharon, married with a son and daughter, also coordinated with three African American mothers to enroll their daughters at the same time.
Joining or creating a mothers’ group was another way mothers tried to ensure their children participated in activities with other African American children and families. For example, one reason Karlyn created a mothers’ group was to empower herself and other mothers to participate in activities that they might otherwise be reticent to do on their own. She explained,
A lot of mothers were in the same situation as me, and a lot of us don’t work near our homes, so we are commuting a lot. . . . Sometimes you are a little more hesitant to step out and do [an activity] on your own, but if you are doing it as a group, it makes it fun and inviting, and the kids get to socialize and they look forward to it.
This largely invisible work of creating peer groups of other African American middle-class mothers and their children is not a new phenomenon. One long-standing example is Jack and Jill of America, Incorporated, founded in 1938 by Marion Stubbs Thomas; the organization aims to expose African American children to socially and culturally enriching activities through their mothers’ membership. Since Jack and Jill’s creation, other affiliated and non-affiliated African American mothers’ groups have emerged at both local and national levels to help African American mothers create connections for themselves and their children. These organizations offer opportunities for African American children to participate in activities in racially empowering environments.
Another organization that plays an important role in connecting children to other African Americans is the church. In addition to instilling faith and providing religious instruction, attending an African American church serves as an important positive touchstone for interacting with other African Americans and it is an institution many mothers used for this purpose. Churches were also a source of extracurricular activities for their children in a racially empowering setting.
In addition to creating or joining African American mothers’ groups, some mothers also enrolled their children in extracurricular activities in specific neighborhoods characterized by varying degrees of economic privilege and racial diversity to balance their lack of exposure to African Americans in other contexts. As I will examine in more detail in Chapters 2, 3, and 4, mothers had differing views of these organizations and activities, and some used them as jumping-off points to create their own peer groups based on the kinds of identities they wanted to foster in their children.
Finally, for some mothers, the fact that their children would be the only African Americans participating in an activity did not deter them. These mothers did not want their children to miss out on learning an important skill because they would be the only African American participating in that activity. For example, Reagan, a divorced mother with one daughter, said,
[T]here is one other black—African American—family that takes swimming at the same time. And, in fact, one day when I was there I ran into this African American lady and she said, “It is very good to see you.” And I said, “It is good to see you, too!” I didn’t know her and she didn’t know me either, but I knew exactly what she was talking about. There were no other black kids swimming in the pool. They’re all non-black, but I don’t want hair—that is, your typical African American woman’s deal, which is why we don’t swim—I don’t want that to be something that keeps [my daughter] from excelling. . . . Do I want her to be the female equivalent to Michael Phelps? No. I want her to be able to save herself if there was a situation.
Notably, although Reagan did not let the fact that her daughter was one of only two African American children in swimming lessons prevent her from participating, she was still very aware of this isolation. She also did not let the damaging impact of chlorinated pools on African American textured hair prevent her daughter from learning how to swim. Reagan became visibly excited when telling of the above encounter with another African American mother at a swimming lesson. Generally, she focused on the fact that while there were normally no other African American children in swimming, she believed learning to swim was a necessary life skill that was worth the temporary isolation. Reagan believed that her daughter was exposed to other African American children and families, although often not middle class, through her regular church attendance.
SCREENING FOR RACIAL INTELLIGENCE
As noted above, to escape early attacks on their children’s spirit, mothers carefully screened childcare providers, educational settings, and extracurricular activities for racism. This included investigating educational settings as it related to the racial diversity in a school’s student body, faculty, and administration. This invisible labor went beyond examining a specific school’s