Laughing at Cancer. Ros Ben-Moshe
Practical Kabbala (Random House)
and Dean, Spiritgrow Wholistic Centre, Australia.
“Ros has bravely combined two human experiences that are usually on different ends of the spectrum we call life. And braver still, decided to share her very personal experiences so others can benefit from her insights. If you or your loved one is facing cancer, and you have an inkling that laughter, mindfulness, relaxation or even a smile could somehow help, this is the book for you. Certainly, laughing in such circumstances isn’t easy, but not laughing doesn’t make it any easier either. May you find some hope and inspiration through the words in this powerfully unique approach!”
Shamash Alidina
Author of Mindfulness for Dummies
Laughter is an untapped science. We didn’t really know until now how to use it as a reliable therapeutic tool, but we do now and the results are amazing. In this book Ros Ben-Moshe takes you through her journey healing from cancer and the insights she gained along the way. Laughter is not the whole prescription, but she shows you how it made everything whole for her and how it can help you too. It’s a message of hope and a valuable source of inspiration for people facing adversity.”
Sebastien Gendry
Creator of the Laughter Wellness method
Acknowledgements
To my beautiful family: Danny, Josh and Zak. I penned this book fuelled by your love. You are my love, my light, my everything. I am so grateful that you are my family and from the bottom of my heart I thank you. To my extended family and friends – you complete my world. To the international laughter community, one word: Wow!
Special thanks to Josh for some wonderful creative writing input. To Heather Grant-Campbell, for critiquing my first draft – you are an absolute joy. To Bronwyn Roberts for the initial introduction to Brolga Publishing P/L. To the entire Brolga team: especially Mark Zocchi, Alice Cannet and Elly Cridland for the amazing editorial support and so much more.
Introduction
Dear Readers,
Laughing at cancer, How to Heal with Love, Laughter and Mindfulness is is based on a series of journals I wrote following a shock diagnosis of bowel cancer days before my 43rd birthday.
Early into my writing I realised that as much as I was writing for myself I was also writing for other people who may be facing a significant health or life challenge. I aimed for my experiences and insights to assist and guide others on their own healing journey.
I share essential healing techniques, personal philosophies and professional insights as both a lecturer in health promotion and laughter wellness and mindfulness practitioner. Even though my experience was with bowel cancer, the healing strategies I employed in this book and much of what I went through are relevant to anyone living with a chronic illness or grappling with a significant life issue.
Laughter was integral to my journey to wellness. Not just laughter in the physical sense, but more broadly as a philosophy known as laughter wellness – a holistic practice positively orient-ing body and mind.
During this period of time my view of mindfulness expand-ed from that of a daily practice to a complete way of being. I derived so much benefit from daily mindfulness and experimented with different ways of sensing into and appreciating the present moment, far beyond any structured practice.
Increasingly I recognised laughter as a form of mindfulness: an anchor to the present moment. When you’re laughing, you’re laughing. It’s very difficult to feel negative emotion. This is really important in terms of healing, as optimal healing occurs when less stress and tension resides in the body.
While surgeons and doctors attended to my physical condition, laughter, mindfulness and other positive psychology techniques enabled deeper healing. So even when circumstances may have appeared less than perfect, these helped align my mind and body to a state where optimal healing could occur.
I hope this book awakens your inner smile and leads you down a path of love, joy and life fulfilment. These philosophies profoundly transformed my life, and my wish is that they transform yours.
I dedicate this book to your good health.
Wishing you much love, laughter and wellness,
25 May 2011
This is where it all begins … well it has to begin somewhere!
Now this isn’t too hard, is it? I mean it’s only taken ten thousand hints from the universe, a bowel cancer diagnosis and a lifetime of thoughts bursting the lining of my exploding head to finally begin to write, journal, download, do whatever it takes and in whatever manner it spills out.
The ink seals my words as testimony to a covenant I make with myself. From now on, all chatter cramming every nook and every cranny of my brain will have a place to go: my journal; a dedicated and devoted outlet where I can pour forth the depths of my unvocalised soul. It will soothe my mind and provide a resting place for my profound (and not so profound) thoughts, releasing any undesired and negative emotions that hibernate within. It will flow its own course. I am merely its conduit.
My life’s journey has taken a new direction. A new current is pulling me, more forceful than ever before. There’s no sitting back today and ignoring it. Tough decisions need to be made. Taking a deep breath in, I am considering what needs to be done. Countless people, too many, have been in similar situations before, far graver than mine. My brain is filled with opinions, facts and fear. I am unable to switch off. I am dreaming of the moment it heaves to a silent pause and rests.
I fear if it doesn’t, my decision-making process will be encumbered, adding even more pressure to my pulsating head. I try tuning out the brain and tuning into my heart, gut and intuitive capacities, but they’re just not communicating today. They are ensconced in their own battles. In this deafening noise I can’t find any inner silence or space to make sense of this.
Is this really happening to me? After all I am a health promotion consultant and laughter wellness facilitator. Surely that should somehow absolve me of poor health? I live and breathe wellness, don’t I? I am considering the mind-body connection and wondering whether something, somewhere along the way has caused a conjunction between seamed parts. I have tried to think positively. I really have done my best. So why then have I had so much sickness? Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), parasites, shingles, a Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT) and now this malignant polyp: a mere 21mm in diameter, with a few pesky cancerous cells outside of its margin. It’s hard to believe something so small can amount to something as life-changing as this. ‘This can’t be happening to me,’ screams over and over in my head making me woozy. I will an out-of-body experience to free me from my own—not that I’ve ever had one!
Another solitary breath in and out, slow and deep. Time to close my eyes and contemplate my next step both in the written and physical worlds. Nothing makes sense. I wish I could stop thinking so much. The more I write, the more real it feels, and that is the last thing I want. I am too distraught to contemplate sleep. I pray that after I give in to sleep, I’ll wake up and today’s nightmare will have been just that.
30 May 2011
What do you want from me?
Sometimes the burdens of life mount like a pressure cooker, exploding its lid and bursting with contents. Have I not had enough life lessons? Do I really need more? Apparently yes, and with a little added resistance. It just goes to show that when you think you know it all—or at least appear to be heading in the right direction—there’s still a blind spot. You can never know what’s in store for you. We’re just pawns in a metaphysical chess game where those in the heavens above already know the outcome; yet we remain blissfully ignorant.
Yesterday I experienced