Mad Dog - They Shot Me in the Head, They Gave Me Cyanide and They Stabbed Me, But I'm Still Standing. Johnny Adair
Mad Dog - They Shot Me in the Head, They Gave Me Cyanide and They Stabbed Me, But I'm Still Standing
autobiography. Adair has survived over a dozen assassination attempts on his life, many of which caused as much destruction as his would-be assassins claimed to be preventing by killing Adair.
In some ways, what is presented here is an attempt to understand this man and the events in which he participated. It goes without saying that this is a risky and contentious business. Former RUC Chief Constable Sir Ronnie Flanagan once remarked that ‘understanding’ paramilitaries in Northern Ireland came ‘dangerously close to authorising, sanctioning and approving.’1
He is correct in this, but although understanding may indeed come with an uncomfortable price, it is a cost worth bearing in order to learn how someone like Johnny Adair became wrapped up in the chaos of the Troubles and went on to lead the most feared Active Service Unit in all of militant Loyalism.
It is a case from which there is much to be learned and it is only the beginning of a series of accounts from Northern Ireland that may yet take much time to emerge. Some never will.
In fact, it is remarkable that Johnny Adair is even alive to tell his tale. Despite significant leaps forward in the peace process since those eventful days of the UDA’s virtual disintegration, it offers him little security. Despite the fact that Adair says he sleeps soundly at night, he will forever be looking over his shoulder. A spray painted wall in Belfast once warned that he, and long-time mentor John White, were ‘dead men walking’.
He now lives far from Northern Ireland, and from the heartland once ruled by he and C Company. He ominously pledges to return. As what, and how, only time will tell, but while this book tells the story of his eventful life so far, its final chapter will almost certainly not be Adair’s last.
John Horgan
Senior Research Fellow Centre for the Study of Terrorism and Political Violence University of St Andrews
1 T Harnden and G Jones, ‘Early release of terrorists under attack’, Daily Telegraph, 4 February, 1999.
Many will find it unpalatable that I have written my autobiography.
There will be concerns I am exploiting the horrors of the Troubles for my own profit. I am also sure that no matter what reasons I give to justify this book there will be those who think there are disingenous and will remain unsatisfied.
But the fact is, there have been countless versions and accounts of my life put into the public arena with no input from myself and it is time for me to tell my story.
This is a straight account of my life growing up on the streets of Belfast and making my way to the top of the UDA. Despite being forced from my home and being betrayed by people I would have died for, I have not sought to settle scores in these pages.
I am genuine when I say I wish my story didn’t need to be told. I certainly didn’t want to grow up in the middle of a war zone, spend so many years hiding from snipers bullets and be seperated from my family behind bars. But I did.
I grew up in Protestant Belfast and that is what we believed in and fought for. We laid everything on the line to protect our community from Republican attack. This book is an account of how I first became involved and the battles that we fought. I do not wish to glorify violence or seek to exploit any of those who lost their lives. In these pages you will learn what happened to me and those around me.
Those days are over now and if the conflict in Northern Ireland has taught us one thing it is that violence solved nothing. This is a historical document and I hope it helps to move the peace process forward by drawing a line under what happened. My war is long since over and I hope that a full and proper peace will come to Northern Ireland.
JA
I would like to thank my very best friend, who for over thirty years has been loyal and true to me – Samuel ‘Skelly’ McCrory. Thanks for everything. There are many other friends and supporters who have stood by me. However, for reasons of security they must remain anonymous. You know who you are.
I would like to take the opportunity to salute the bravery and the dedication of all the men and women who I once commanded. You remained true to the cause in defending Ulster from attack for almost thirty years.
While most of the UDA leadership sat back in the comfort of their luxury homes and got rich, you put everything on the line for what you believed in. It saddens me that many have been left to rot by the current leadership. I think about you all every day and wish that I could be there. But, as the motto says ‘Quis Separabit’, we will never be separated in thought and indeed in person. Watch this space.
Jock Lamb, Ian Truesdale, Woodsy, Willie, Wildcat, Big Hughie, Stephen, Vo, Wee Puffy, David Malone, Donal Mac, Mickey Carrol and all the boys from Norfolk. All the boys from Salford. The cute boy and all the shit bags from Bolton. Colin Bell, Snowball, Andy, Wee Jimmy, the Glasgow crew.
Also thanks to my friends who are currently serving time in HMP Maghaberry, HMP Bowhouse, HMP Magilligan, HM YOC Hydebank.
My friend in Mid Ulster, you know who you are.
A very special thanks to the men and women from north, south, east, west and south east Antrim UDA Brigades who continue to keep in touch with me. Big respect to you all. Ulster Resistance, Press Eye.
Big thanks also to Mad Nick, Christiane, Chris, Anna, Mikey and all my friends in Dresden, Germany. All the boys in the Real McCoy (keep my bed warm), Double Top (Kilmarnock), Jean Houston, Andy and Janice. All the Christian men and women who have been very supportive to me and my family in recent years. God bless you all. Natalia (Portadown). I would also like to thank my wee hero, aka super Prod.
And to the photographers Kelvin Boyes and Brian Anderson.
Last but not least my family. A massive thanks to my mother, brother and my sisters. I love you and miss you dearly.
Gina, Natalie, Chloe, Jonathan and wee Jay love you all from the bottom of my heart.
A special thanks to Graham McKendry who over the months showed patience and dedication while helping me with the book. Cheers bud.
Johnny Adair
My involvement in this book would not have been possible without the help and support of numerous people. First I would like to thank my colleagues at the Scottish News of the World. In particular Brian Anderson for his work behind the lens and Gary Jamieson on the picture desk. Thanks. Also to David Leslie and Craig Jackson for all the encouragement.
Thanks also to everyone at John Blake for making it possible to work on the project and ensuring it was as painless as possible. And to Johnny himself for asking me to help with the book.
Finally, a very special thanks to my friends and family who put up with me during the summer of 2006. In particular to my mum, dad, sister and SW for correcting my spelling and being there. Love you all.
Graham McKendry
CONTENTS
Title Page
Foreword
Preface
Acknowledgements
Introduction
1 The Buzz
2 Knocked Back
3 Old Guard, Young Turks
4 Loss and Gain
5 Heroes and Traitors
6