His Virgin Wife: The Wedding in White / Caught in the Crossfire / The Virgin's Secret Marriage. Diana Palmer
not his fault.”
“Mack doesn’t want me,” Natalie said heavily. “I suppose I knew it from the beginning, but he made it very clear the last time I saw him. He’ll date Glenna and be very happy. Maybe you will, too. But I’m tired of being the scapegoat. I’m going to find a new life for myself in Dallas. Goodbye, Vivian,” she said tersely, still without looking in Vivian’s direction.
Vivian had never felt so terrible in all her life. She stood on the steps, alone, and watched the best friend she’d ever had leave town because of her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered to the retreating cab. “Oh, Natalie, I’m so very sorry!”
She had to tell Mack that Natalie had gone, of course. That was almost as hard as watching Natalie leave. She found him in his study, at the computer, making decisions about restocking. He looked up when he saw her at the door.
“Well?” he asked.
She went into the room and closed the door behind her. She looked washed out, miserable, defeated.
“I went to apologize to Natalie,” she began.
His face tautened, and he looked a little paler. But he gathered himself together quickly and only lifted an eyebrow as he dropped his gaze to the computer screen. “I gather that it didn’t go well?”
She fingered her wristwatch nervously. This was harder than she’d dreamed. “I was just in time to see her leave.”
He frowned as he lifted his head. “Leave?”
She nodded. She sat in the chair beside the desk, where she’d sat and watched him the night he got drunk. She hated telling him what happened. He’d had so much responsibility in his life, so much pain. He’d never really had anyone to love, either, except for his siblings. He’d loved Natalie. Vivian had cost him the only woman who could have made him happy.
“Leave for where?” he demanded shortly.
She swallowed. “Dallas.”
“Dallas, Texas? Who the hell does she know in Texas?” he persisted, still not understanding what Vivian was saying.
“She’s got a job there,” she said reluctantly. “She’s…selling her house. She said she wouldn’t be coming back.”
For a few seconds, Mack didn’t speak. He stared at his sister as though he hadn’t understood her. Then, all at once, the life seemed to drain out of him. He stared at the dark paneling of the wall blindly while the truth hit him squarely in the gut. Natalie had left town. They’d hurt her so badly that she couldn’t even stay in the same community. Probably the gossip had been hard on her, too, because Mack had made harsh accusations in front of everyone. And how did you stop gossip, when it was never spoken in public?
He sank down into his chair without a word.
“I tried to explain,” she continued. “To apologize.” She swallowed hard. “She wouldn’t even look at me. I don’t blame her. I’ve ruined her life because I was selfish and conceited and obsessed with jealousy. Now that I look back, I realize that it wasn’t the first time I saw Nat as a rival and treated her accordingly. I’ve been an idiot. And I’m sorry, Mack. I really am.”
His chest rose and fell. He toyed with the pencil on the desk, trying to adjust to a world without at least the occasional glimpse of Natalie. Now that he’d lost her for good, he knew how desperately he loved her. It was a hell of an irony.
“I could go to Dallas and try to make her listen,” Vivian persisted, because he looked so defeated. Her brother, the steel man, was melting in front of her.
His shoulders seemed to slump a little. He shook his head. “Let her go,” he said heavily. “We’ve done enough harm.”
“But you love her!”
His eyes closed briefly and then opened. He turned to the computer and moved the mouse to reopen his file, his face drawn and remote. He didn’t say another word.
After a minute of painful silence, Vivian got up and left him there. She loved her brother. It devastated her to realize how much she’d hurt him lately. And that was nothing to what she’d done to Natalie. She could never make up for what she’d cost Natalie and her brother. But she wished she had the chance to try.
Natalie, meanwhile, had settled into a small apartment near the school. She’d interviewed for the position and after a few days, she was notified that she had the job. The teaching roster had been filled for the year, but one of the teachers had come down with hepatitis and couldn’t continue, so there was a vacancy. Natalie was just what they wanted for the third graders, a bilingual teacher who could understand and communicate with the Hispanic students. She was glad she’d opted for Spanish for her language sequence instead of German, which had been her first choice. It had been one of only a few good moves she’d made in her life.
She thought about Vivian’s painful visit and the admission that she’d lied to Mack about Natalie and Whit. So Mack knew, but he hadn’t tried to stop her. He hadn’t phoned or written. Apparently she didn’t even mean that much to him. He must have meant all the terrible things he’d said to her on the street, where everyone could hear him.
Part of her realized that it was for the best. He’d said that he didn’t want marriage or an affair, which could only have led to more misery for both of them. It was just as well that the bond was broken abruptly. But their history went back so far that she couldn’t even conceive of life without Mack. And when Vivian was herself, they’d had such wonderful times together, along with Bob and Charles. Natalie had felt as if she belonged to the Killains, and they to her. Now she was cut adrift again, without roots or ties. She had to adjust to being alone.
At least she had a job and a place to live. She’d found work with a temporary agency for the summer so that she could save up for a few additions to her meager wardrobe for the beginning of school in August. She would survive, she promised herself. In fact, she would thrive!
But she didn’t. The days turned to weeks, and although she adjusted to her new surroundings, she still felt like an outsider. When she began teaching, she was nervous and uncertain of herself, and the children knew it and took advantage of her tentative style. Her classroom was a madhouse. It wasn’t until one of the other teachers, a veteran of first days on the job, came to restore order that she could manage to teach.
She was taken gently aside and taught how to handle her exuberant students. The next day was a different story. She kept order and began to learn the children’s names. She learned to recognize other members of the staff, and she enjoyed her work. But at night, she lay awake remembering the feel of Mack Killain’s strong arms around her, and she ached for him.
By the second week of school, she was beginning to fit in. But on the way home she passed a small basketball court and noticed two boys who looked barely high-school age pushing and shoving each other and raging at each other in language that was appalling even in a modern culture. On a whim, she went toward them.
“Okay, guys, knock it off,” she said, pushing her way between them. Unfortunately she did it just as the hand of one boy went inside his denim shirt and came out with a knife. She saw a flash of metal and felt a pain in her chest so intense that it made her fall to the ground.
“You’ve killed her, you fool!” one of them cried.
“It was your fault! She just got in the way!”
They ran away, still arguing. She lay there, feeling a wetness on the concrete around her chest. She couldn’t get air into her lungs. She heard voices. She heard traffic. She saw the blue sky turn a blinding, painful white…
Mack Killain was downloading a new package of software into his computer when the phone rang. It had been a busy summer, and the unwelcome bull roundup was under way, along with getting fattened calves ready for market and pulling out herd members that were unproductive. He’d worked himself half to death trying not to think about Natalie. He still did. She haunted him, waking and