The Australians' Brides: The Runaway and the Cattleman. Lilian Darcy
the fear back with yelling, and then you feel great.”
“How would you know? You said you’d been doing it your whole life. You can’t ever have been scared here.”
“I haven’t been scared of here—of the water hole.”
“Or bunyips.”
“Or bunyips.” He paused. “But I’ve been here, scared.” Paused again. “I’ve come here a few times to try and yell it away, and it’s always worked.”
“Scared of what, then, if not the water hole?” She said it before she thought, shouldn’t have needed to ask.
“After Liz died.” His voice went quiet and his body went still, reluctant and stiff. “Scared of—”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You don’t need to spell it out. I understand.”
He gave a short nod. “Yeah, there was nothing unique about it.”
“I’m sorry,” she said again, but she didn’t show that he’d heard.
“I got given some, you know, brochures at the hospital in Port Augusta,” he said. “Information leaflets. About bereavement. And they had lists of things I might be feeling, and I was. Feeling those things. All of them. It’s stupid. I hated having my whole gutful of emotions put onto a bloody list. There were lists of things you could do about the emotions, too. Ways of getting help, ways to help get yourself through it.”
“But those lists didn’t have yelling and jumping into the water hole?”
“Nope.”
And that was good, Jac understood, so Callan had jumped into the water hole a lot.
She felt privileged, sincerely privileged, that he’d wanted to push her to do it, and very glad that she had. She was pretty sure he didn’t offer the same opportunity for terror and yelling to just anyone. She was very sure he was right to think that she needed it.
Bunyips were mythical.
And Kurt’s power games were a long way away.
“Got one! Got one! Got one!” Josh shrieked out.
About twenty seconds later, Carly screamed, “Mommy, I got one, too!”
“Let Lockie put it in the bucket for you, Carlz,” Callan warned her quickly. “It might nip you with its claw if you touch it. Lockie—?”
“I’m helping her, Dad, it’s okay.”
“Let’s get that fire going.”
He grabbed his towel and dried himself with the vigor of a dog shaking its wet coat, then dragged his T-shirt and jeans over his still-damp body, hauled on his sturdy riding boots and went to work unpacking backpacks and saddlebags, while Jac was slower to cover her damp swimsuit with her clothes. She couldn’t help watching Callan as she dressed.
There was a circle of big river stones in the shade near the creek bank. The remnants of charcoal within it, as well as the blackened sides of the stones themselves, told Jac that the circle was another detail to this place that Callan had known his whole life.
“Want to find some bark and sticks?” he said.
She gathered what he’d asked for, while he broke thicker wood into short lengths with a downward jerk of his foot. He had a fire going within minutes, with water heating in a tin pot that he called a billycan. Out here in the middle of the day, the light was so bright you could barely see the flames, but you could feel the heat and the water was soon steaming.
Jac checked on the yabby tally. The kids had twelve in their red plastic bucket, but the yield seemed to be slowing and interest had waned. “The bait meat’s losing its flavor,” Josh said.
“And yabbies aren’t stupid. They’re on to us,” Lockie decided. “Twelve’ll have to be enough.” He stood up, leaving the bucket behind, and wandered in the direction of the horses.
“They’re our appetizer,” Jac said, without thinking.
“We’re going to eat them?” Carly wailed. “We can’t eat them!”
They were kind of cute, in a large, shrimpy sort of way, Jac conceded, with blue and black and green markings that would turn red and pink when they were cooked. Too cute to eat?
“Nah, it’s okay. They won’t know it’s even happening,” Josh told Carly in a matter-of-fact voice.
“How come they won’t know?” she asked.
Over by the fire, Callan called out, “Lockie, can you grab the tea bags while you’re there?” Lockie was still with the horses, looking for something in a saddlebag.
“Dad drops them into the boiling water and they don’t even have time to feel it. If I was a yabby, I’d way, way rather be eaten by a human than anything else.”
“Why, Josh?” Carly asked seriously.
“Because anything else would be eating me alive.”
“Eww! Yeah! Alive! Are you listening, yabbies?” Carly spoke seriously to the scrabbling contents of the red bucket. “We’re nice, kind humans. We’re not going to eat you alive.”
Which seemed to deal with the whole too cute issue, thank goodness.
Ten minutes later, Carly was eating a hot yabby sandwich, with butter, pepper and salt.
Jac ate one, too, and it sure tasted good. “This is one of those moments when I blink and shake my head and can’t believe I’m here,” she told Callan, hard on the heels of the last mouthful, her lips still tasting of butter and salt.
“Yeah?” Callan waved pungent blue smoke away from his face.
He had a blackened and very rickety wire grill balanced on the stones over a heap of coals. It looked as if someone had fashioned it out of old fencing wire, but it held the lamb chops and sausages just fine, and they smelled even better than the yabby sandwich had tasted.
In a little pan, also blackened, he had onions frying in the froth from half a can of beer. The other half of the can he drank in occasional satisfied gulps, while Jacinda sipped on a mug of hot tea.
“I’ve just eaten something that a week ago I’d never even heard of,” she said. “I’ve swum in terrifying water, chock-full of bunyips. I’ve let you tell me about snakes in the house without screaming.”
“I noticed you didn’t scream.” He gave her his usual grin. “I was impressed.”
“Thank you. Meanwhile, there’s a road faintly visible over there that you claim leads eventually to Adelaide, but there hasn’t been a car on it since we got here, what, an hour ago? In fact, have I seen or heard a car since Tuesday? I don’t think so.”
“There have been cars.”
“I haven’t noticed them. I’ve been too busy. It’s incredible here. Carly is—Carly will—I hope Carly never forgets this. It’s going to change who she is.”
And “Carly” is code for “Carly and me.”
It’s going to change who I am, even more, but there are limits to my new yelling-and-jumping-induced bravery, and I’m not prepared to say that out loud.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if it changes the boys, too,” Callan answered.
He flipped a couple of lamb chops with a pair of tarnished tongs, drained the last of the beer and looked at her with those steady blue eyes, and she suspected … decided … hoped … that “the boys” was code, also.
Chapter Six
“Dad?” Through a fog of steam, the bathroom door clicked shut behind the new arrival.
“What’s