An Amish Family Christmas: Heart of Christmas / A Plain Holiday. Patricia Davids
your return all this time because of what happened between us.” That was as close as she could come to asking him outright.
Toby’s eyes widened. “No, Susannah. Please don’t think so. The truth is that Emma didn’t want to move away from her family and the community she’d always known.” He shrugged. “I didn’t much like working in a factory, but I couldn’t bear to tear her away from her family.”
No, she could imagine that Toby hadn’t been well suited to factory work. He’d always wanted to do things his own way and at his own pace. “You made the best decisions you could, I’m sure.”
Toby’s face tightened, and she had a sense of things unsaid. “Well, I’m here now, anyway. I thought Ben might resent me joining the business, but he seems wonderful glad to have someone else for Daad to blame when things go wrong.” His face relaxed in a grin. “Daad’s a little testy since he can’t do things on his own.”
“I’m sure. Your mamm mentioned that she had her hands full with him.”
“That she does. I’m afraid it’s an added burden, me returning with the two kinder. But I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Ach, don’t think that way.” She nearly reached out to him in sympathy but drew back just in time. She couldn’t let herself get too close to Toby, for both their sakes. “You know your parents want nothing more than to have you and their grandchildren with them. Your mamm is always talking about the two of them.”
“She may not be so happy when she realizes what she’s got herself into.” He stared down at his hands, knotted into fists against his black broadfall trousers. “The truth is, William and Anna are both...difficult.”
Susannah had the sense that this was what Toby had been trying to say since the kinder had left the room, and she murmured a silent prayer for the right words.
“Difficult how?” She tried to smile reassuringly. “You don’t need to be afraid to confide in me, Toby. Anything you tell me about the kinder is private, and as their teacher, I can help them best if I understand what’s happening with them.”
He nodded, exhaling a long breath. “I know I can trust you, Susannah.” A fleeting smile crossed his face, then was gone. “I always could.”
No doubt he was remembering all the times she hadn’t told on him when he’d been up to mischief. “Just tell me what troubles you about them,” she said.
“My little Anna,” he began. “Well, you saw how she is. So shy she hardly ever says a word. She was never as outgoing as William, but she used to chirp along like a little bird when it was just the family. Now she scarcely talks even to me.”
Susannah’s heart twisted at his obvious pain. “Is it just since her mammi died?”
He nodded. “That’s when I started noticing it, anyway. She hasn’t even warmed up to her grossmammi yet, and I know that hurts my mother.”
“She’ll be patient,” Susannah said, knowing Sara Unger would do anything for her grandchildren. “What about William? He’s not suffering from shyness, I’d say.”
“No.” Toby didn’t smile at her comment. If anything, he looked even more worried. “William has been a problem in another way.” He hesitated, making her realize how difficult it was for him to talk about his children to her. “William has been getting up to mischief.”
“Well, he probably takes after his father. You shouldn’t—”
He shook his head, stopping her. “I’m not talking about the kind of pranks I used to play. I’m talking about serious things. Things where he could have been badly hurt.” He paled. “He tried to ride bareback on a young colt that was hardly broken to harness. He challenged one of the other boys to jump from the barn window, and it’s a wonder he wasn’t hurt.” Toby’s jaw tightened. “He started a fire in the shed. If I hadn’t seen the smoke—” He broke off abruptly.
Susannah’s thoughts were reeling, but she knew she had to reassure him somehow. Say something that would show she was on his side.
“I’m so sorry, Toby.” Her heart was in the words. “But you mustn’t despair. William is young, and he’s acting out his pain over his mother in the only way he can think of. This is going to get better.”
“I want to believe that.” The bleakness in his expression told her he didn’t quite mean what he said.
“There’s a way to reach William, I promise you. I’ll do everything I can to help him. To help both of them.”
Wanting only to ease the pain she read in Toby’s face, she reached out to clasp his hand. The instant they touched, she knew she’d made a mistake.
Their eyes met with a sudden, startled awareness. His seemed to darken, and Susannah felt her breath catch in her throat. For a long moment, they were motionless, hands clasped, gazes intertwined.
And then he let go of her hand as abruptly as if he’d touched a hot stove. He cleared his throat. “Denke, Susannah.” His voice had roughened. “I knew the kinder could count on you for help.”
She clasped her hands together tightly, feeling as if she’d forgotten how to breathe. “That’s why I’m here,” she said. She managed a bland smile and retreated behind her desk.
Toby rose, and for the life of her, she couldn’t think of anything else to say. But one thing had become very clear to her.
She wasn’t over Toby Unger at all, and somehow, she was going to have to learn to deal with it.
* * *
Toby sat at the kitchen table by lamplight with Daad while Mamm put dishes away. He felt as if he’d jumped backward in time. He and Daad used to sit like this in the evening when the chores were done, hearing the life of the household go on around them while Daad planned out their next day’s work.
The two sisters who’d come after him were married now, with families of their own, but his youngest sister, Sally, was upstairs putting William and Anna to bed for him. Sixteen, and just starting her rumspringa years, Sally had developed into a beauty, but she didn’t seem aware of it. Maybe she thought it was natural to have all the boys flocking around her the way they did. It didn’t turn her head, at any rate. She was sweet and loving with his children—an unexpected blessing upon his return.
And Susannah? Would she be a blessing, as well? He still felt that jolt of surprise he’d experienced when their eyes first met. How could he still feel an attraction for the woman he’d jilted ten years ago?
Mamm leaned across him to pour a little more coffee into Daad’s cup. “Did you have a chance to talk to Susannah today about the kinder?”
He nodded. He had to keep his mind on his children. Any flicker of attraction he felt for Susannah was surely just a result of seeing someone again he’d once been so close to.
“It wasn’t easy to tell her,” he admitted. “But I figured she needed to know about my worries if she’s going to be their teacher.”
“You don’t need to worry about Susannah. She’s not one to go blabbing about private things.” Daad’s voice was a low bass rumble. He shifted position on the chair, and Toby suspected the heavy cast on his leg was troubling him.
“She’s a fine teacher,” Mamm said warmly. “Look how patient she was with that boy of Harley Esch’s when he had trouble learning. And now he’s reading just as well as can be, his mamm told me. She can’t say enough about Teacher Susannah.”
“I’m glad to know it. I hope she does as well with William and Anna.” Toby raised his gaze to the ceiling, hoping that William wasn’t upstairs giving his young aunt any trouble.
“Ach, you’re worrying too much.”