Twice In A Lifetime. Kierney Scott
wasn’t important. This wasn’t about her; it was about helping Sam. “After uni, I became a social worker.” She stopped for a moment to reflect on the irony of the situation. The last conversation they’d had, they had been planning their future together, and now she was catching him up on the life she had lived without him. “I am a drugs counsellor now at a place called Fresh Start. We are based in Leith but we have clients from all over Edinburgh. It is a small rehabilitation unit…but thriving. We are doing really well… I still don’t know how we managed to get enough funding to open our doors, but we did.” She was rambling now but it was hard to summarise everything that had happened since she had last seen him, since he had left. She clenched her hands together in her lap and pressed her short, ragged nails into her skirt.
Liam nodded and encouraged her to continue.
“My service users mostly have problems with heroin. Not much has changed on that front—still lots of working lassies trying to support their habit on the game,” she said. He flinched at her words and she realised too late what she had said. “Sorry, what I meant to say is—”
He cut her off. “I know what you meant to say. Nothing has changed, nothing ever will. That is exactly why I left.”
“Liam, I am sorry.” It was too late; his demeanour had changed, grown unfathomably harder. His blue eyes were cold as his stare bore down on her, pinning her in place.
“Don’t. That part of my life is over. I made a choice not to wallow in the shit of my childhood. Shame you could not move on from it.” His words were clipped, his tone caustic.
Sarah took a sharp intake of breath; his words stung like a slap. Now it was clear she was not dealing with the same boy she had grown up with. Her Liam would never speak to her like that. Her Liam was sweet and kind.
And gone.
“Look, I am sorry—”
“Just tell me what you need.” He cut her off again.
She took another deep breath. This was where it was difficult. She had to be economical with the facts without lying. Even after everything, she would never lie to Liam. “One of my service users has been arrested here on suspicion of drugs trafficking. No, that’s not right…” She shook her head and started again. “There is no suspicion—he did it. He had just under a kilo on him when he was caught trying to sell to an undercover police officer.” She held her breath as she waited for Liam to speak. But he didn’t. He just stared at her as if he was scrutinising every word, every movement. His gaze fell from her face to her clenched hands.
“You still bite your nails when you are stressed,” he said.
She shrugged. “Sometimes.”
He reached for her hands. His long fingers gently coaxed her palms to flatten against his. Heat radiated through her. Her pulse quickened. He was inches from her. It had been over ten years since he had been this close to her, but the effect was the same. Why did he have to be so handsome? Why did he have to have a mouth she never tired of kissing and hands that felt perfect against her body? No, it wasn’t just that; it was something else, something more primal that drew her to him. They were like magnets drawn to each other, pushing aside everything in their path.
“You are stressed a lot, it seems,” he commented as he lifted her hand and examined her nails.
“I am going to stop once I get this sorted,” she said. She pulled her hands away and pushed them to her sides, away from his reach.
“No, you won’t. You will move on to another cause, another victim. There will always be someone you need to rescue.”
Her back stiffened. Those were the same words he had said when he left. God, she was so stupid. Nothing had changed. He was still the same man who ran when things got tough, just like her dad, and her granddad, just like every other man in her life. “Some of us see a problem and try to fix it. Others run.”
“No, some of us are smart enough to get out.”
She sighed. The trip down memory lane was getting her nowhere. “I just need your help and then I will go back to—what was it you said?—wallowing in the shit of my childhood.”
“If he was involved in drugs trafficking, he should be punished. There are consequences to every decision,” he said pointedly.
She didn’t have time for this. They would never see eye to eye on this or anything else that mattered. Liam always thought addicts should be punished and she saw addiction as a disease. “He doesn’t deserve to die. He could be executed. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime.”
“Perhaps he should have considered that before he started dealing drugs in the UAE.”
“Honestly, Liam, you should know better than anyone—”
He put his hand up to stop her. “Let’s get one thing straight. Don’t ever tell me what I should know or not know. Unlike you, I do not live in my past. If you mention it again, I will have you on the next flight to London. Do you understand?” A chill ran down her spine. His voice was so low she would have struggled to hear him if she were not sitting beside him, yet he made the threat clear.
She nodded. He had changed so much. Liam was impossibly hard now. Once upon a time she could read his face, feel every emotion he felt. There was never a need for words; she just knew. But now everything about him was granite and impenetrable: his body, his face, his feelings. The realisation pulled at her, reminded her how much she had missed him. Even now, after all his betrayal, there were few things she wanted more than to spend another day with the Liam she knew before. She tried for years to forget him but seeing him now made her miss the boy she had known even more because he had not just left her life; he didn’t exist any more.
“Do you understand me?” he asked again.
“Yes.”
“Good. Give me his name and I will make a few phone calls. I can’t promise anything but I will see what I can do to save your latest stray.”
She took a deep breath; relief washed over her. He had agreed to help. She had managed to get him on side without needing to lie to him. But now she needed to tell him. A nagging sense of guilt pulled at her. She should have told him who it was before, but she couldn’t. He would not have agreed if he had known who he was helping, but once Liam made a promise, he honoured it. “It’s Sam.”
“Sam Ashton?” he asked incredulously, the anger etched in his tan features.
She ignored the consuming desire to run, mostly because there was no place to go. She forced herself to look him square in the eyes. “Yes, Sam Ashton.”
“Christ, Sarah.” He ran a hand through his hair and swore. He was silent for a long time, just scrutinising her, and then he asked, “Are you screwing him?”
Her jaw dropped. She was sideswiped by the question. Why would he ask that? It took her a moment for her brain to engage again.
“Are you?” he demanded. His accent had slipped, gone broader.
“Careful—your Scottish is showing.”
“No, if I wanted to sound Scottish I would have said, ‘Right, hen, dinnae tell me you shagged him.’”
Chapter Two
It did not escape him that Sarah had effectively avoided the question, but he wasn’t going to ask again. It was none of his business; she had made her choice years ago.
The years had been kind to her. She looked the same, except for the dark circles under her pale green eyes. He hated to admit it, but she was still beautiful. Her honey-coloured hair was pulled back in the same hairstyle she always wore. He used to love it when she would take it down and let it flow in waves down her back, but she rarely did. Even then, Sarah was all business, sorting out the world.
“The answer is no. I am not sleeping with Sam,” she said.