One Snowy Regency Christmas: A Regency Christmas Carol / Snowbound with the Notorious Rake. Christine Merrill
I remember what it was like to count pennies as though they were pounds, and do without the smallest luxuries.’
He had guessed her reason for walking? ‘Then I also apologise for the comment I made in our last conversation, accusing you of being unsympathetic to those in need.’
He was frowning now, and hardly seemed to speak to her. ‘You were right in part, at least. I had meant, when that time passed, to remember it better. I pledged to myself that I would be of aid to those who were impoverished, as I had been while growing up. It seems I have forgotten.’
‘Do not think to make my family an object of pity to salve your stinging conscience,’ she snapped. ‘If you wish to offer charity, there are others that need more of it.’ Then she looked out of the window as well. She felt bad to have spoken thus, for it was very ungrateful of her. He seemed able to put her in the worst temper with the slightest comment. But then, he could arouse other emotions as well.
Her cheeks coloured as she thought again of the kiss. When she’d accepted this ride, had there been some small part of her that had hoped he would attempt to do it again? Was that what made her angry now? She was a fool if she thought that his offer had been anything other than common courtesy. She meant nothing to him. Nor did the kiss.
‘It is hardly charity to offer another person a ride on a cold and rainy day,’ he said gently. ‘I’ll wager you’d have accepted if the offer had come from Anne Clairemont or her mother.’
‘That would not have been likely,’ she said.
‘Why not? You were friends with the Clairemont girls as a child, were you not?’
She turned and looked at him sharply. ‘What gave you that idea?’
His gaze flicked away for a moment. ‘You mentioned it as we were driving towards the house yesterday.’
‘I said I’d had a friend there. But you said “girls” just now. I did not mention Mary.’
‘Perhaps Anne did,’ he said, still not looking at her. ‘Mary was her sister, then?’
The idea that Anne might have mentioned her seemed highly unlikely. Something about the calculated way he spoke made her suspect he fished for information and was piecing the truth together with each slip Barbara made. ‘Mary has been dead for quite some time,’ she said, praying that would be the end of the conversation.
‘What happened to her?’
‘There was nothing mysterious about her death. She took ill, faded and died. If you wish to know more you had best ask your fiancée, Miss Clairemont.’
‘I have not offered as of yet.’
‘But you will. The whole village knows that the festivities you have organised are meant to celebrate your engagement to her.’
‘Do they, now?’ His voice had dropped briefly, as though he was talking to himself. ‘I did not know that the world was sure of plans that I myself have not spoken.’
Were they not true? Anne seemed sure enough of them, as was her father. But Stratford’s response gave Barbara reason to fear for them. It would be most embarrassing should they have misunderstood this man’s intent so completely and allowed themselves to be used to further his business. ‘I am sorry. Perhaps I was mistaken.’
‘Perhaps you were.’ He was looking at her rather intently now, as though trying to divine her opinion on the subject.
She reminded herself that she had none. Perhaps she was a little relieved that he was not riding with her or kissing her while planning to marry Anne. She had no wish to hurt that family again by seeming too interested in Mr Stratford. Nor did she want to do anything that might encourage him to become interested in her if he was otherwise engaged.
But his eyes, when seen this close, were the stormy shade of grey that presaged a violent change in the weather. The slight stubble on his chin only emphasised the squareness of his jaw. Now that she had noticed it she found it hard to look away.
He broke the gaze. ‘Then again, perhaps you were not mistaken about my engagement. I have not yet made a decision regarding my future, or that of Miss Anne Clairemont.’
She looked down at her feet, embarrassed for having thought anything at all other than cursory gratitude that she was not walking in the rain. ‘Either way, it is rude of you to discuss it with me. And, I might add, it does not concern me whatever you do. You might marry whoever you like and it will not matter to me in the slightest.’
‘It is good to know that. Not that I planned to seek your approval.’ This was more playful than censorious, and delivered with a strangely seductive smile, as if to say it was in his power to make it matter, should he so choose. ‘But why do you say that the Clairemonts would not offer you a ride if you needed one? They seem like nice enough people, from what I know of them.’
Perhaps enough time had passed that they were better. Barbara was not sure of the mood in the Clairemont household. But she would rather cut her tongue out than ask Anne, for fear the answer she might receive would open old hurts afresh. She gave a firm smile. ‘It is an old family quarrel, and nothing of importance. I would not seek to bother them if I did not have to.’
‘But I would like to hear of it, all the same.’
‘You will not hear it from me,’ she said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. ‘You are new to Fiddleton, Mr Stratford, and might not know the ways of small villages. When one lives one’s life with the same people from birth, it sometimes happens that one makes a mistake that cannot be corrected and that will follow one almost to the grave.’
‘Are you speaking of the Clairemonts, then? What mistakes could you have made to render you less than perfect in the eyes of this village? From where I sit, I see a most charming young woman—and well mannered.’ He smiled. ‘Although not always so to me.’
‘You do not always deserve it, sir.’
‘True enough,’ he agreed. ‘But you are kind to others, modest, clearly devoted to your family. And beautiful as well.’
‘Though too old to be still unmarried,’ she finished for him, sure he must be thinking it. ‘The verdict has already been rendered as to my worth in that regard. I have learned to accept it.’
‘Then we are of a kind,’ he said. ‘Although I am the worse of the two of us. I have just got here, and I have made myself universally hated. But I do not let it bother me. I do not care a whit for the opinions of the locals. I am who I am, and they had best get used to it.’ He looked her up and down again. ‘If they think less of you, for some foolish reason or other, I cannot give their views much credence.’
Between the kiss they had shared and the look he gave her now, she suspected he had got quite the wrong idea about it all. He was hoping that there had been a man involved in her downfall. But their trip was almost over, and he had offered no further insult, so it was hardly worth correcting him. As long as they were not alone again he would give her no trouble.
But his disregard for his own reputation bothered her. ‘Perhaps you should care what people think. There are worse things than social ostracism, you know. Mill owners have been accosted in their own homes and on their ways to and from the factories they own.’
‘That is why I carry this,’ he said, patting the bulge in his pocket and reaching in to draw out the handle of a pistol.
‘Are you really going to use it?’
‘Do you doubt my bravery?’
‘I do not doubt your foolhardiness,’ she said. ‘It has but one bullet in it. If there is trouble, there will likely be a gang behind it.’
‘Then I will be forced to appeal to the garrison for aid, and it will not go well with them,’ he said, as though that settled the matter. ‘I do not seek violence, Miss Lampett. But if I feel myself threatened I will resort to it. You need have no doubt of that.’
She